The Phenomenon

Life of tiny balls in a enclosed box

2011-07-29T00:35:00.000-07:00

This world is like a enclosed box ,with a tiny hole in it.Lots of little colored balls are inside it. Some one shakes the box all the time trying to get those balls out, and the tiny little balls move around rapidly , randomly with few going out through the exit all the time.

Some balls get out early and some others stay for longer , but eventually all gets out.

The areas touched by balls could be the same , could be different , but a better probability is that more balls get to touch the same areas .Of course there are a few balls which get to touch that tiny corner which most others don't.

Every ball is colored differently, but each ball feels the color of others are better.

Balls try to understand the process of movement and get into a channel which could take them to softer patches , and avoid going out through the tiny hole. However ,no calculation ever works perfectly as these balls have no control over the hand which shakes the box.

The question is , does the hand itself know what is happening inside the box ? Does the hand have any priorities ? Or it just want to get everything out ? Question is unanswered till date.

One thing is for sure , all the balls will go out one day. And the box will be refilled with something else , something the hand wants to put in, or may be , the box itself would be thrown away.

Haunted by broken dreams

2010-12-11T06:19:00.000-08:00

# Wanted to live in a foreign country (not middle east).

# Wanted to be with female friends all around me, having fun and partying.

# Never wanted to be in a relationship.

None of the above worked for me. I am haunted by this, always , and i think these are the reasons why i am not happy at all.

The first one was never pursued becoz my brain told me that this is where i have a future. And also , did not have enough money.

Second one never worked out with me. I coould not cheat , i could not take sex easy , and thus I could not sleep with many women., i feel like a loser.

Third one , i dont know why it happened. I dont even know if i am in love. But i care for her , i wants her to be happy, i dont like her compromising anything for me, i just cant make her sad.

The bottom line is that i dont know how i can make myself happy. Tried so many different things in life , even now i am trying my level best to 'understand others' , 'understand that life is like this' ,'understand that no one is happy' , 'understand that its all mind games' ... whatever the fuck , i am not happy ,and thats it.

Fucking hell .. those dreams of mine will never be achieved. Those were the things one can do when they are young... and im over that age...

Anyways , forget it .. life has to move on . Atleast i will try my level best to contribute something to this world . May be my dreams did not work out , but i will try to make others come true , and try to find pleasure in watching them...

Being jealous , and being sick about it.

2010-11-25T16:36:00.000-08:00

Its about 6 AM on a cold friday morning in Chennai.I have not properly slept for past 36 hours or so. This night , i was working. Sitting in my office , with about 100 cubicles around me , all empty. Nothing else , other than me and the desktop with two monitors. Atleast there were two monitors . I consider them as my companions.., "i ain't alone" ,i proudly say to the reflection on the window panels.

I came back home at about 5 , as i felt i needed some sleep. Rolled over in bed, could not get sleep.Tried to cry ,tears dont come out. Fuck , i cant even cry..(well, its been so for a long time now) .. And here i am , this is the only place i can escape to , whenever i am in trouble., my writing desk, and my wonderful blog , which i am so glad that no one is reading , so that i can write freely in here , more or less like my diary.

Any one want to know why i was trying to cry ? Yeah , partially because i was not able to sleep, but more because i feel so bloody low. I talked to this person who is one of the most important people of my life , some one whom i love so much, and hate as well. The hate factor is actually being built from my 'feeling low' state ., and the other way , some sort of a vicious circle it forms by itself.

After ages of accusing that person for my own pathetic being , i am starting to realise that the real problem lies within me , and not her(ok,i have given away the gender suspense of my character). It all comes down to one simple word , 'Jealousy'. I am so fucking jealous of the life that she has.,and i feel so terrible about the life that i have. I have listened to you all, i have tried to understand that everyone would feel so.. i have told to myself a 100 thousand time that , "you are doing good".

But ., i am sorry., i am just not able to convince myself. I have tried to show off to everyone how wonderful i am. I have a decent job , i earn well , i take care of my mother, i am being a good brother , great at work , gets appreciation from managers and colleagues , runs a small business of my own, has made a short film, writes decently ., and so on. But even when i say this , to which everyone , including her,accepts , but yet on the back of my mind , i know that i am not living the life that she is. She may not have any of which mentioned above , but she lives with friends., she lives in Europe(a place which i have always dreamt of being to) , and she parties every week. All that she bothers is about shopping , meeting and partying with friends , trips and so on. Lets take the 'she' off here , as i feel i am blaming her , and lets make it 'they' . Now , if you look at them , they all have a international degree as well , and would obviously end up in a high profile job. Ok , the toughness of getting job and all that crap would be there , but at the end of the day , they would all end up having same or better salary than me.Where as , i have struggled to reach here. I mean , i studied in India, in a engineering college , with a educational loan , where i had to struggle day in and day out , living the ordinary life of any other mid-level college student.I had my own share of fun , but it was nothing like this.One major mistake , one simple yet big mistake that i made on those days , which i feel has turned around my life from good-bad , was the fact that i did not take my campus interviews seriously. One mistake , and it took me about 3 years to recover my life from that single simple mistake.

While i say all this , let me make one more thing clear. If Gods are reading this , please skip. I am very glad about what you have given me from time to time. Good health , good family , good friends , good job , everything.The problem i have has got nothing to do with Gods ., and i sincerely hope that they would forgive me for this sick jealousy that i have developed. Not just Gods , i cant blame anyone . I dont want others, whom i am jealous of., to do bad , i want all to be happy , but still i am so sad that i dont have the happiness that they have.

The way they live , is what i wanted. Living in Europe with guys and gals together , studying in super good college with little work , partying and having fun , and once it ends , get a good job , and settle with family.

So why didnt it happen for me like that ? I am 26 now , and i am almost out of my 'young' ages. These things will not happen to me ever again , i have missed the chance , and it makes me feel more sick.

May be because of the choices i made in life. I always wanted to do everything by my own. And thank God, i have achieved things., but never made it to the heights i wanted.i thought of staying away and being focussed on my career and future , and here i am , at the verge of being an uncle , and looking pathetically back at a young age which could have been well used and enjoyed . What have i gained by being planned and being dedicated and hard working ? What have i gained by taking the tough route than the easy one ? Nothing ! No fucking thing !!

I have lived a tough life , a very tough one where nothing came easy for me. I had to struggle and earn each and everything that i have today. I hate to see others who get it easy. One big question that looms over me day in and day out is "When i have worked harder , better than others .., why do they have a better life than me ?"

However , i have decided to stop whining. It is just making me look even more pathetic. I am going to accept the small life i had/have , and enjoy it to the level best.I know i would never get the life that they are living , but there is nothing much i can do about it now.It was all my decisions/priorities that took me here. I would work hard , and i may achieve something when i am old and ugly , but that i dont think will replace the young life that i have lost.

Thanks to my blog , i feel better now. I hope no one reads this , because i am not sure how people would interpret this. Even if one of you from 'them' reads this , please understand that even though i am jealous of what you have , i would only pray for you to be happy , and wish you to have that forever .

Random lines , will be a poetry one day

2010-09-25T19:45:00.001-07:00

I don't know what is that revolves around others , but definitely , my world revolves around you ...

May be technically wrong , but you are definitely the most beautiful girl in the world...

I was always afraid of singing , but now i know i can even sing in Hindi ,and its definitely coz of you ...

I think i know my problem

2010-09-25T06:56:00.001-07:00

Yes , that is correct . I thought about it , in clear mind.

I am someone who has always been driven by my brain . I mean , there is hardly anything that i does without thinking about it . Not just thinking , i think a LOT for every small thing. I want to make sure it will be successful , beneficial and worth my time before i do it . This has helped me in being a better planned for future , but at the same time , i think i am losing my life. Or in other words ,i am being too old for myself.

For everything that i do , i make this analysis - Whether i have materialistic gain or just personal happiness . Most often , i give the primary importance to the task which gives me materisalistic benefits, sacrificing my happiness.

Remember i keep yelling about not being able to write anything ? This is the reason .I can write only from my heart , and not from my brain. But when the latter is in control all the time , how could i write a sentance ?

I am not trying to say that i am miserable , not at all . I have a comfortable,healthy life and i thank the almighty for that . But if you ask me if i am enjoying my life , the way a young man should , i dont know . I am seeing a girl, i have friends , i am planning to buy a car .. Thats nice , isnt it ?

But hold on , there is another side to this ., the girl i am seeing is not near to me , my friends are not really rocking as such , Chennai is not truly a happening place , and i presently dont have a car . Get the drift ?

Again , thinking about it , i realise what my solution can be .. Its just that i need to be happy with what i have , and understand that there are worser people around me . Yes , thats what i need to do .I need to understand that not everyone gets everything , may be this is what i am not supposed to get . And i am fine with it , and very happy for others who have it :)

Love life nostalgia

2010-08-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

I am caught in nostalgia today. Love life is the best when it comes to thinking about the past.

I remember this girl from 5th standard.I don't really remember her name or her face , but she definitely fall in to the one of my earliest love interests. She was fair , and..., and that's it. I changed school the next year , and i forgot her.

Then i think i had plenty of love interests. As a matter of fact , i was in love with almost every girl , or rather , i expected at least one of them to have a crush on me.But it never happened , i think they were also thinking the same way. I did flirt even those days, and i am sure many of the girls loved that. But nothing really important happened.I remember a rumor that one of the bad looking girls were in love with me , but there was no proper evidence for that and i was not interested in verifying.

Probably somewhere in 12th standard, is where she would have come. I was dying to flirt those days , but did not really have great chances with a strict and traditional school in Kerala. And then she was there - fair , hot and cute new comer of 11th.I made a bet with my friends on her , and thus it happened. I thought she would not give a damn about me , and would be surrounded by plenty of guys .But it was not so , and it was easy for me.

She had a card shop , which was quite near to my house. I went there once , twice , and i think that did it.I kept it as a secret to my friends , and agreed that i lost the bet.

One day she came to my house and i served her grape juice .This incident broke out in school , and several friends kissed me as they thought she kissed me. I felt like a hero !

And then it happened ,I kissed for the first time in my life. I also did several other things for the first time in my life.

Did i love her ? I don't know , but i am sure neither of us really did knew what the meaning of love is. No one knows , at 18 . It is just a fantasy , a beautiful fantasy(which should happen to everyone). And i am sure we lived in that fantasy ,for 2-3 years. I even went up to the limit of telling both our parents that i wanted to marry her. There had been lot of problems , very much like a movie story, rich girl , big family , threats , and the climax.

The climax is a bit different in this story though . We both moved to Coimbatore for college and then we started to experience a new world of freedom and friends. Frustration kept on piling up inside me about the relationship.I did not like the way she lived and neither did she like mine.I really wanted to break the shackles and live a free life but my 'commitment' did not let me do it.

And thus it happened , one day , she called me and told me that its over. I agreed. We decided to part ways. I felt relieved.

After a week or so , i bought a present for her birthday and called her. It was switched off.

Tried home , friends and every one . No news.

After a few months after her disappearance , i learned that she has ran away with someone .I met her brother whom i thought hated me , but then realised was a fine person. He explained whatever he knew and we decided to do a search for her.

Did i pursue the search for the girl who left me ? No . By that time , i also had left her , and i was sure enjoying my freedom. I started doping and drinking , and many a time blamed it on her , which i now realize was just an excuse.

I loved the fact that i could now sleep with any women, and decided never to fall in love again. My 'sleeping with several women' stories are there in my previous posts. Check it out if you are ready to 'lol' at me.

And thus it ended , my first love. It was followed up with several other 'flings' or short term assignments. My primary requirement was sex ,with some romancing and a little bit of sharing.I always made sure whenever it was about to get serious ,put an end to it and run away from it.

Frankly , i was scared to fall in love.

Then , recently , i decided to change .Is it because i fell heads over heals in love with someone? Is it because love happens to every one ? No , i don't think so . I dont think i am in love even now. But yes ,things have changed. I sometimes wonder if this is yet another practical adjustment that i have made to my life. I am finding it so tough to accept this new phase , but still holding on .

Tired of writing , let 'what happened to me recently' be a surprise , which i will try to cover in another post.

Recreating Magic , can i ?

2010-08-16T13:58:00.000-07:00

Couple of years back , when i was in Cochin , Mom got a transfer and i ended being alone at home. I have never known what it was like to be alone till then , but when i got a taste of it , i loved it.

I had everything i wanted , my own space , TV , Internet , kitchen , bike , everything , just for me. No one to bother , no one to watch . I could dance when i want , i could make my own schedules , i could write in peace. Wow !!

Eventually i moved to Chennai , with my friends. I would not say i did'nt enjoy it., but then i always used to cherish those memories of being alone. I would always tell my room mates how wonderful it is to be alone , and they thought i was crazy. But i kept a secret promise to myself to move as soon as i have chance and money.

And thus it happened, i moved last month . Small , neat house. I made sure i had everything like earlier , i wanted to recreate that magic . Even my new job matched my desires , i mostly work on single shifts, where i get to see no one .

I should be loving this , but am i ? What is bothering me now ? Did i get used to being in company ? Is it unnecessary tensions of the career and future ? Is it the girl ?

I want to recreate that magic . I want to be so free .., me and the world , all alone ... I want to write beautiful stories. I want to read them again and again , and fall in love with them , and then hate them. I want to study networking , i want to drink listening to soft music, send smokes towards the skies. I want to swim , i want to love people around me .I want to cook , and eat it all by myself ...

Will i recreate the magic?

I dont write any more.

2010-08-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

I cant write anymore . I really cant. Its been about 6 months since i have written a short story. I started many after that, but never completed any. I lack in ideas , creativity , enthusiasm. I have always believed that writing is my true passion, but has it died in me ?

3 years back when i started this blog i had lot of people asking me about it,appreciating and encouraging. Today , it has become more like goverment agency which has been run for none. But , for past 2 years or so (when this degradation started) ,i have been living with my friends , and never really had a personal space or peace of mind to sit back and write.However , i have moved recently , and i have put a hold to alcohol.I hope this change will help me to get back to writng ., i dont care if any one reads this , but i want to write , write and write ..

Changing my blog template due to superstition or for the feel of a new begining.

Cheers

Little things that i love

2010-06-11T00:47:00.000-07:00

# Planes

Zhooooom..... Here he comes , down , down , down .., sharp big face and hands spread out.I love it even better if there is a visible blade on the wings . The Cargo ones are my favourite , they are the biggest !!

# Cats

Last week a small one got trapped in our Kitchen. He was as small as my palm , but when i went near him , he was like 'Aghhhh ... Grhmmmmm ..Grrrggg' . Thats attitude man !

# Tigers/Dogs

I will get a dog as soon as i am settled somewhere , and i will adopt a tiger before i die.

# Little girls

I have talked about this earlier , just re emphasizing the fact that i am crazy about little girls.

# Saloon

I love going to a Saloon . I dont know why , but i really like when i am sitting there and some one playing with my hair .

# My blog

I am in love with my blog. The best thing is that i have absolute freedom here , no one reads this , yet i get the pleasure of talking to the whole world.

Will come back and edit this post later ..

Accepting it!

2010-05-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

Yes , i am not writing anything these days . Not even here . Its so sick .

But then , what is the point of writing for the heck of it !

I will be back when i feel like blabbering .. Bye for now !!

The 3 avatars !

2010-04-28T11:59:00.001-07:00

I just happened to scroll down and see the nonsense i been writing for sometime !

I cant believe that i been bullshitting so much . Its full of sick love stories and some other sentimental crap !! Its quite visible that i have not been laid for a long time.

I thought about how to change this situation , and meditated for 75 hours straight . Lalit Modi , Sania Mirza and Rakhi Sawant appeared in my meditation,and i recieved 3 different suggestions to improve my blog.

Laliit M : Take a break for 6 months . You will be back with a bang.

Sania Mirza : Get married to a Pakistani/Afghani etc , your blog will get the maximum media coverage.

Rakhi Sawant : For every problem in the world , there is only one solution . Take it off !!

When it comes to advices , you can only trust the most intelligent ! This had been a close contest ,yet i made my decision ,

OFF goes my blog template ...

Moments when you feel great !

2010-04-28T11:11:00.000-07:00

There are moments in each and every one of our lives , when certain small things happen , which just brightens up your life . No , it will not change your life for ever , but will make you feel alive.

A normal wednesday night , roaming around facebook and planning to go to sleep. Then this happens ,

XXXXX hi Aravind
11:31pmMe hi

11:31pmXXXXX how r u
11:31pmMe good , n u?

I check my huge friend list , and checks his pic .We have some common friends , but i am not able to recognise who he is . I am wondering why he is pinging me , but i always show some courtsey , and decided to ask him something,

11:32pmMe were are you?

11:33pmXXXXX in london
doing my masters
how is life ?

11:33pm Me
life is same
and ordinary
;);)

11:34pmXXXXX
want to tel u sumtng...... saw ur short film. good effort from ur side. can see how much u have worked for it
keep the good work gng!

This is the moment i am talking about ...

11:35pmXXXXX
yum man i was disccussing it wit my frnd

11:35pmXXXXX
huh u r gr8

11:35pmXXXXX
nice
r u working on any such films now?

NO , he is not gay . I am sure he dont even really remember me . I also know i am being overexcited for a small appreciation . I have recieved such appreciations in the past as well . But all i am saying is that , moments like this can make you feel something , something which tells you that there is some good reason why you are alive .

Me
bye
thanks for the suport
:):)

The biggest challenge in life !

2010-04-13T07:46:00.000-07:00

You know what the biggest challenge in life is ?

It is to identify what you really want in life ., and have the courage to believe and pursue it.

Im 25 years old and i am so confused . The problem is that , i kinda know what i want in life , but i am lacking the courage to pursue it .Let me explain ,

Current situation :

I am a network engineer , i earn a decent salary , i do a nice job , and i live in Chennai. I have loads of friends and contacts in here , i love the place except for the weather.

What i want in life :

I want to be a successful engineer , earning a huge salary. I want to be a writer ,i want to make a movie , i want to run a business , i want to be involved with the film industry and i want to take care of my family . I want to be closer to my girl.

What the problem is :

" Hey , where is your son now ? My son is in US/UK ."

" Hey , where is your brother now ? "

" Hey , so where is your boyfriend ? "

" Why cant he go to US ? "

" Oh , he has never been there ? I been in 3 countries "

" You dont know man , the blondes! Oh , i love Europe "

Another reason , is .., any guesses ?

Ha ha , you got it .Its her !

She is in Europe and loves the place . I am not blaming her , its just the difference in perception . I want to be near to her , and is worried whether i would lose her if we continue this long distance thing for a long time . But if i force her to come back here , she wont be happy . So whats the option left ? She might end up getting a job there , and why would her parents have to think about me then ?

The 'US Mappilai' is available for plenty .

When i think about it , if i really try , i would get a PR . But then , what for ? Work experience ? When it comes to computer engineering , i dont think there is anything much for me to 'experience' in there . Everything there is outsourced here.

How about my movie dreams ? People say that i can still do a course or something there. But , i already have good connections in here , and when it comes to movie industry, contacts are the most important thing .

How about my family ? Do i really want to leave them and live there ?

And all this for what ?

Yes , i love Europe and America , i love football , the snowfall , the culture . But , i just want see all that , i dont want to live there .

If i am a little patient , i am sure i would get a chance to travel . But i am getting impatient .

Why is this happening to me ? Why cant i believe in what i want , and just be patient ?

Am i doing a wrong thing by staying back here ? I am not sure , but i feel this is the right thing . This girl i am speaking about is sensible , and would understand me . But still , certain things confuse me .

What you guys say ? Should i follow what the society is asking me to do or should i follow what my heart says ?

What is more important ? Your dreams or your love ?

Would i be doing a mistake by following what my heart says ? and more importantly , what is the meaning of ,

"Its your call buddy" ???

The extramarital affair !!!

2010-03-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

Yeah , thats true ... I am involved in an extramarital affair ...

I am married to Network engineering , whom my parents chose . She is lovely , and sexy.I really like her , but , but then ... my love .. Cinema .. I am not able to forget her ...

You know , when i touch the cam , when i design those frames , when i write a dialogue...,you know.., there is no better way to make love in the whole world ...

Now , i am so confused , worried and pissed off . What am i supposed to do ? Yes , for sure i love technology , but do i get an immense feel of comfort when i stand right under the sun at 1 PM in chennai, when i am doing networking ?I doubt it ... Do i feel absolutely nothing for a hot gal ,and see nothing else other than the character , when i am at my desk in office ? I doubt it ...

I dont want to be those people who would turn 60 and tell that , oh god , i could have been a great film maker ... No , NOOOOOOOOOOOO....

But then , can i quit my well paid job , and get my family under debt and lose the girl i want to marry ? No , i cant...

I can tell only one thing my sweetheart cinema .. I will chase you , where ever i go , where ever i reach , i will never leave you,my love for you will never fade...

There will be one day in my life ...When i make you proud with my love ...

The girl is here , again !

2010-03-01T06:39:00.000-08:00

Actually , i want to hug her tight and kiss her and tell her that I LOVE YOU .

But , i am not doing so. That is because , i am not sure whether she feels the same way i do .And moreover , she needs time . So do i . May be this is still infactuation between us , may be there is a better man for her and better girl for me . We are no one to predict future , are we ?

One thing i am sure about though , is that i want her to be happy . I dont know how much she cares about me , and i dont want to know . All i know is that ,

I care for her ,a lot !

May be we may not get together , but still i want her to be next to me , i want to take care of her , and make her happy .

I thought of telling all this to her , but then , whats the point ? This is something that someone should feel , not force . We have some time to pass between before we may meet again , and at that point , if i feel that she does care for me , i may propose her . Else , i am happy to pass it as a beautiful dream ,something which was never mine .

I know people have started hating this blog , because of this love-bullshitting , but i dont care . This place is only for me , just to write whatever i feel .

Love - Pheno Vs Menon

2010-02-27T10:55:00.000-08:00

Yea , i know it sounds stupid , silly and seriously bullshit .

But , i cant help it ,at 25 years and 5 months , i realise that love exists . Its not the mother's love that i mean ,the love of a partner .

No , i dont have a partner as of today , i am not in love as of today . All i am saying is that i believe that it exists . I understands that true love happens to only 1 in a 100 , but i will live with a hope that i am that one . I have never felt like this before , and i have always tried to ditch love for sex and fun .I have made mistakes in life , but i want to correct myself.

I am not saying that i have turned a saint , but i want to be in a realistic relation. I want to meet someone who loves me , the way i am , i want to love her (yea,im straight) , and i want to have kids like her .

Conversation between Pheno and Menon to continue .,

"Fuck Menon , you are drunk... "

"Its alright Pheno , you are just a disguise of what menon is "

"Do you think i am like you ? No way , i want to fuck many girls"

"Ofcourse , you may do that as well ,but you are not going to enjoy a bit of it.Believe in me , there is girl waiting for you"

"Dudeee , give me a break . You have no control of what to happen next "

"So what , hope makes life . I may not find her , but i will live with the dreams of finding her . I may get married to anyone my mom suggests ,but for sure , i will love her , will be faithful and good to her .. for a lifetime "

"Man, give me a break , lets talk when you are in your senses"

"Godnight Pheno , see you tomorrow"

Valnetines day - Times have changed .

2010-02-14T21:57:00.000-08:00

Times have changed , look at the V day wishes post i made last year ..

http://the-phenomenon-world.blogspot.com/2009/02/valentines-day-thoughts.html

I was like that ., fooling around girls and flirting , never cared about LOVE and emotions .

The last year had been a very important year for me . I realised several things in my life . I dont know if it was because i grew older , but i believe its because of the experiences that i had with relations .

You all know about this girl i have been going ga-ga for a long time . We talked briefly yesterday , and i made sure there are no intimate talks happening . This girl has played a major role in the turnover of my thoughts .

The most important change is that i have started to believe in love . It does not mean i am in love or being loved , but i now believe that it exists somewhere in the world . Also , for the first time in my life , i am expecting some girl with whom i can truly fall in love with .

Thats my heart speaking , but my brain still tells me that it can only happen to people of one in a billion . I am not expecting anything , especially for the way i had been all these days ., but if i get a chance , i am sure i would really like to fall in love .

Coming back to this girl , she has played an important role to make me feel this .Please note that we have never proposed , nor do i think that we are in love.But she had been a wonderful support and has given me meaningful suggestions to improve my life . She always understood me really well .

Now you would be thinking that 'Why are you not in LOVE' . Well , i dont really know , but speaking about marriage and love , i am not sure if we would make it a success. She is a wonderful friend , and i want it to stay like that , but the moment i start to think of her as a partner , a lot of bad things creep in to my mind , and we screw up the relation . At this point , i dont really think we will make a successful pair , especially because we are both similar kind and will not give up anything for another person .

Another change that has happened to me recently is that , i have started to respect women a lot more . I no longer walk around and call every other girl as a bitch . I feel that women deserve some respect .

The girl has definitely influenced me in improving my personality . As she always says , everything happens for good . She has also helped in improving my headache and stomach pain , but i shall forgive that .

I dont call her , scrap her , or send an email . I do this not because i dont think of her , as a matter of fact there is not a single day where i dont think of her , and pray for her ., but it is because at the moment , i believe there is no point in dragging a relation that i dont think would be a success .I tried several times to get back to her just for the heck of it , but whenever i did that it ended up in trouble . I am letting her live her life , and hoping that she understands me .

One thing is for sure , i only want to see her happy , where ever she is , whatever she is doing .

Belated Valentines day wishes to all . Some day , i will also celebrate a V day with someone i love :)

What the fuck , that was too sentimental emotional shit !!! :P

So i got a new look !

2010-02-09T18:29:00.000-08:00

I mean , my blog got a new look . I still look like that lean ,fair, spectacle'd , genius kinda assole !

Its been a long time since i changed anything in here . Infact , im too lazy to sit back and make my blog look good . Also , if i try to make it too attractive , people may feel that i am girl in disguise . As you all know , i am a male chauvenist !

(WTF is the spelling for Chauvenist ? )

How's this new look ? Is it gona make many girls fall for me ? I have also decided to write more about Gay'ism as well .There is an increasing number of gays these days . I have recently discovered that Gay'ism is a contageous disease and its spreading fast in my office . Dont worry , i have decided to change the project .

How wonderful it will be if all the guys change to gay and i am the only one left ? I will have all the girls in the world .

What a fucked up thought . I just forgot for a moment that i am a male chauvenist !

Well guys , i am just trying to be funny . I know there is nothing to lol , and i am sorry that i dont deliver such goods these days . You know the stuff i've been going through , and i am in a recovery period. But things are way better now , and i feel that the recovery angel is almost near my door .

Shit ! There really is a recovery agent at my door . He , however will be looking for my credit card !

Post to feel good !

2010-01-27T06:54:00.000-08:00

Im not feeling good , so thought of writing something .

Things are all pretty fine , however , i am still not enjoying myself .

I make my life complicated all by myself . May be its a hangover of a pretty bad season ,hope things will be better soon .

I want to get back in to that full fledged - high spirited PhenoMenon., asap .

I am not writing much in here these days , because i feel i am boring you guys , and that is visible by the lesser number of people who visit my blog these days . Am i becoming too serious with life ?

Well , if not here , i am back writing reviews and articles on movies . I have been asked to promote claps and boos in my blog , so check the following links ,

http://www.clapsandboos.com/mindspeak/4b5f016057377d2edd000001

http://www.clapsandboos.com/mindspeak/4b59bd8757377d753f000003

Can some one please tell me how i can be more popular on the blog world ? Till date i have not bothered to promote my blog coz i write here just to get the pleasure of writing . Now i would like to do so .

Other things in life include , being sleepless for past two days , working non stop on one thing or the other , and as always , worried about the gal . OK , i am not going to start writing on anymore 'gal' things , i know i have already dragged it too far .

Is this the most boring post that i ever wrote in this blog ? :P

The Sine Wave of Life !

2010-01-19T05:06:00.000-08:00

Ok , my serious boring posts continue , the following are the highlights of the things that happened recently .

1. I got an offer from a better company . Pretty decent offer , i think i will go for it . Final negotiations are going on .Thank you god . Please continue praying for me .

2. The girl whom i first had a relation with , which went pretty seriously (for me) for a long time . She talked to me after a long time . She told me that she has fallen in love with one of my friends , and is looking forward to marriage . I was really happy . I am praying for her these days .

I am wondering what the heck is wrong with me . I should be pissed off and would want to pray that she gets screwed up with that relation ,especially since she defined that 'Menon , what we had was just a crush ' . Why is that for every gal that has a relation with me , its just a crush always ? Anyways , i cannot curse her , my feeling for her true , i want her to be happy , and i will continue to pray for her .

I am not pretending or trying to do this , but unfortunately , it seems that i am a good man .

3. Claps and Boos got released :) Please join in and make it a success .

4. I am becoming more focussed on my life and career , i realise that is what gives me the most pleasure . I wana write stories , screenplays , make another short , make c&b bigger and better , study hard and work well ...

Yes , there are certain things that are missing in life , but not everyone gets everything in life . I am happy with chasing my dreams .

5. Reduced drinking to a great extend .

6. Cannot flirt anymore . May be i have grown up or there is something else that is stopping me . But i am going to listen to my heart and not flirt .

7. Every now and then , i see her , i feel her . Alrite , i know this is serious bullshitting , and 'it was only a crush Menon' . But , unfortunately its not that easy for me . I am trying not to speak to her . As always , i just want her to be happy , and i am hoping that one day i would find my love.

Ha ha , look at that ... PhenoMenon just said that he hopes he would fall in love one day ... ROFL . Life is so interesting babe ., one bizarre sine wave . ...

PS: Girl mentioned in 7) is different from the one in 2)

Success ? Loser stories continued !

2010-01-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

I screwed up a relationship with a girl i really love .

I dont want to get into details

But i know 51 % fault is with me

May be we are incompatible .

She is the modern kind who looks for practical things

I am the traditional assole .

Anyways , i am fucked

I feel that the best thing to do at this point would be

NOT to disturb or bother her . I think she deserve better ... A real practical , new world man !!

Let me do that , let me pray for her . I cannot stand her being sad ...

OK, enough of my Romeo stories ...

Get back to life ..

I know there is no life called as love life for me ...

But i still know that there are so many things to do for me in this world

FOR the world ...

So let me do that ..

No more expectations from relations ...

No more falling in love ...

Let me do what i am supposed to do..

And let me make the whole world happy ...

:)

Mrs Menon in Train

2009-12-30T06:45:00.000-08:00

December 24 , Covai Express , 12:30 PM

"Hello , Am i speaking to Pheno Menon" ?

"Yes , who is this ? "

"Sir , we have an opening for network engineer in Chennai, are you looking for a change"

My eyes wide opened - The little girl sitting next gave a nodded response to my smile.

"Oh .. yea , ofcourse .. please go ahead "

"This opening is for network engineer with a reputed MNC in Chennai .They are looking for network engineer with experience in routing , switching , and knowledge in MPLS , you would be sent out to US for a few months of training and .. "

"Wait , which company is it ? "

"Well , this is for XXX Corp sir "

"Hmm , i am not sure whether i would be really interested "

"Why sir , i can guarantee you that they are one of the top companies in India "

"Really ? Then , i dont think their employees would have registered in your portal for a job"

"Sir ... what you mean"

"It means that i am working for them "

"Ohh .. ohh.. Sorry sir ... in that case why dont you refer someone you know " ...

"Well, in that case , why should'nt i take the referral money from my company ? "

"Ohhhh , ha ha ha .. true true sir .. Ok , nice speaking to you "

"I know , its always nice speaking to me , though i am not sure whether its the same the other way around"

I disconnected my call and took a deep breath . Whats more worser that my own company recruiting from all around the globe , but i wont get the right chance ?

Well, Mr.Phenomenon , its always been like that for you , isnt it ? I tried to smile at myself . This time i avoided the girl next to me and instead , turned right .

She smiled back at me . I dropped my smile .

"Hi " She said in a soft voice .

"Hi" . I had to respond

"Are you from Chennai ? Going where ? "

The train has passed Erode and the next stop is Covai . I cant go to California in this train (Thats where all others in the new project would be going to ) . Fuck off old lady .

"Yes , from Chennai to Covai "

She gave me a broad smile . I tried to concentrate back on my book .

"Are you working or studying in Chennai ?"

"Yes , working , at XXX Corp ,as network engineer" .
Not as great as it sounds , all i do is suck some American dicks .

"Ohh .. thats great . Are you malayalee ? "

"Yes , i am from Palakkad " I gave the answer to avoid the next probable question .

"Where in Palakkad? " Her eyebrows shooted up showing her anxiety .

"Well , we were settled in the town , near Manapullikkavu , now we moved to Nemmara"..

"Ohh , is it .. thats so great . we are also from Palakkad " She pointed to the seat in front which was crowded with so many old women .

"Oh great ,. where are you in Chennai? " I had to ask something .

"Well , we are settled in Chennai for about 30 years now , now we are going to Alathur , you know Alathur right ? Thats where my 'tharavadu' is . From there we will go to Thrissur . My younger sister's , daughter's son is getting married " She said in one breath .

"Oh ., thats great"

"I knew you were a malayalee" She smiled as if being a malayalee was the best thing on earth .

"Malayalees can always recognise each other , there is some sixth sense between us"

No one needs a sixth sense to identify a fair , curly haried guy in a Covai express as a malayalee . But still i gave an expression as if to appreciate her sixth sense capabilities .

'Hasili Fisilie rasavadi , un siripilum ...'Girl next to me increased the volume of her China made mobile . Now no one could even hear the train's sound . I felt better so that i can avoid the conversation now .

She patted on my back . There is no stopping a old lady from continuing a conversation.

"Tamil people , no manners , right ?" She gave me a bad face .

I didnt know what to say . I am stuck in between two far ends of a very confusing species called as females . I smiled , which i have learned as the best way to deal with a woman .

"Well .. what is your parents doing ? " Next question

"My father is no more , he was an advocate . My mother retired as Joint director of education and my sister is a lawyer " . I pressed the buzzer and gave the perfect answer in one go .

"Ohh, thats great " She looked excited . I gave a puzzled look

"I mean , i am sorry about your father . These things happen to all good families " She looked down depressed .

Who the fuck told her that ours is a wonderful family ? It just sounds so great.. thats all ..

"And your sister ., she is married , right ? "

"Yea , my nephew is 5 years old " I knew where this was going .

"Thats so great , so where did you study "

"I studied in Chinamaya VIdyalaya "

"Chinmaya ? Which one ? In pallavur " ?

I nodded yes .

"Ohhh wow .... Do you know Bharathi teacher ? She was a principal there ? "

Volcanos erupted inside my head . Do i know her ? Well , she sill never forget my name . I remember the day when she was crying like a little kid in front of all the other teachers and the 5 of us inside the Principals room . "I will never forget you , or what you have done today " I still remember she telling us , with a trembling voice .

For all those who thought that those words have come out of joy , please correct yourself . It was completely the other way around . I will write a different post on that story later .

"Yea , i do " i said softly to my female pal in train .

"Ohhh wow .... " She jumped towards the seat infront of her to catch her relatives . She wanted to tell the whole world about her discovery called as ME . Surprisingly , she stopped on half the way and came back to me .

"Btw , what did you say your name is ? " She sounded really serious this time .

"Pheno" I said

"No no , your full name "

OK , so that was it . I knew this was coming . Malayalee - Palakkad - Unmarried - Well settled family - Good looking (Although most of the factors except the locations are not entirely true in reality)

I looked at her face. She looked like a little kid awaiting permission from her dad to go for playing. This was the last and the most important thing that she wanted to know .

"Menon - Pheno Menon"

"Wow " ... She burst in to joy . She jumped two seats in one go pulling me in her one hand , and we reached right in middle of the entire family .

"Meet PhenoMenon , Bharathi's student , computer engineer " Everyone looked at the new arrival .

I prayed no one would ask about my salary . I kinda enjoyed the attention that i recieved , let them think i am like the other engineer brothers who earned a lakh a month .

" You know we Menon's all understand each other so well "
Another woman who is more older than my pal , took my hand and said . May be Manoj Nite Shyamalan was inspired from this family while making 'The Sixth Sense' .

The events that followed , included me being introduced to each of the family members , and their history , and how we are all distant relatives , and how similar i looked like Santhosh (Ok , i suppose he is some guy in their family) . I finally managed to leave without a family phone number exchange . Thanks to the universal 'i wana go to the bathroom' excuse .

I never went back to my seat , i just stood there near the door . I could see them chatting and pointing at me . I hurried out as the train stopped in Covai .

I wondered whether i made a mistake by not giving the number . The last thing that i want will be a enquiry about me to Bharathi teacher.

Well , the moral of the story is that , if you have to choose between two estrogen filled tanks , go for the youngest one .

New year wishes and resolutions

2009-12-30T05:47:00.000-08:00

Wish you all a very happy new year .

My new year party is going to be the same as it always has been , getting drunk with my friends and staying inside home - Terribly boring ? Yes , ofcourse , but i dont have another choice .

May be i could have gone for a party outside , but then , my room mates are not interested , will have to spend a lot of money , will have to drive at night and so many other things .

I am not interested in going out with a girl or something , i would rather be with my friends .

I have never really partied in my life , and the saga continues . Im kinda sad , but there is no other way than being happy with what i have .

I sincerely hope all you guys out there enjoy and party this new year to the max .

I am not keeping any resolutions like 'i wont smoke' or ' i wont drink' . I think i have got my last year resolution worked out which was more about my 'virginity' :P.

However , this time ,i am going for things which i really wana do , like

1. Double my salary .
2. Make another short film .
3. Get my stories published/reach a bigger scale .
4. Work and make c&b big .

At this point , on December 30 , i am feeling pretty very much down . My life is not currently exciting , and i am trying my best to keep the spirits high . Philosophies are all good , but when it comes to my life , it is really difficult to pass through difficult times . I am feeling like a loser in all senses , with my job , with love and all .

I hope next year would be better . God , if you are listening to this , please make my life better next year . Thanks in advance .

Again , wishing you all a very happy new year .

PS:I dont want anyone to come and tell me 'Oh ! What happened , let me console'.
After all , no one give a fuck about others , right ?

Missing Items .

2009-12-11T06:43:00.000-08:00

Well,

As usual i have been sitting back and thinking too much (Not literally , i think when i walk , talk , shit etc . Truly multidimensional thinktard* ).

I figured out that there are certain items that had been missing recently .

1. Not writing stories .

Causes :
1.Do not have time
2.Too much bothered about business
3.Too much bothered about studies
4.Too much bothered about a girl
5.Too much bothered about future
6.Too much of thinking
7.Lesser concepts

Analysis of above points :
1.Rejected ! What the fuck are you doing for 24 hours ?
2.Accepted ! Tone down 10%
3.Accepted ! But do not tone down till you find a better job .
4.Accepted ! Cannot think of a resolution . Lets hope you turn gay .
5.Partially accepted ! This is also a future for you .
6.Contradictory ! Thinking is necessary . Just shape it to the right directions.
7.Rejected ! You are PhenoMenon

2. Less humor .

Causes :
1.All of the previous statements
2.Too much of a proffessional approach to life .

Analysis
1.All of the previous statements
2.Accepted ! This ca .....

Wait a minute .Thats it ! Look at the freaking manner in which i am writing . What the fuck is this ? A case evaluation report to my manager ? Oh my ... So thats it ..

I been listening to one of my alter ego's 'Menon' a bit too much these days . I should get back in to the 'pheno' ways soon ...

Hmmmm ...

Ummmmmm ....

Mmmmmhmumhmmm** ...

*Thinktard - Someone who keeps on thinking for a long time . 'tard' has been used to give it the 'bastard' effect .
**The last few crazy letter combinations are used to make you understand the sound effects that are created inside my areola when i have realisations .

10 million Fireflies !

2009-12-03T18:48:00.000-08:00

I have decided to start another tag , just for songs . As far as i am concerned , the lines of a song are more important than the music or the voice .

Read this , listen to this , most importantly ,think about this . If you have time , come back and tell me what this is all about . Its interesting to see how different people have interpreted this .

"You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance

A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell

But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seems"

Blogging in a Indian train .

2009-12-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

Been sometime since i have thought of writing when i am travelling . And finally , here i am., leaning over the window of Korba express , protecting my screen from being smashed by people walking across.

I am travelling from Palakkad to Chennai. Went home for a short vacation . The vacation however turned out to be pretty bad , as i fell sick as soon as i reached there.

I love travelling . And i hate travelling .

Seriously i am not sure which one to give preference .

I hate trains .However, A/C coaches are better . I must dedicate this post to the A/C ticket i managed to get . The normal sleeper class totally freaks me out.

Why on F'ing earth are people littering all over the place ? Its HIGH time that Indian railways do something about it .Give proper waste baskets everywhere in the train, and empty them at constant intervals . I know that people would still do crap , but it can be controlled to a good extend.

Eating inside the compartment . Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhh .. I dont know why i hate this , but i simply cant stand this . People bring all sorts of things from home and starts eating as if they are on a 5 star hotel restaurant . Pleeeease ... lets have a dining compartment . Increase ticket charges for this . Lets travel with a pleasent smell.

What should be done to get the toilets proper ? Why cant they clean it at every station ?

This is why i prefer flights . Less time , more cleanliness , and ofcourse air hostesses .

But unfortunately , i am no way closer to be rich to take a flight every time i want to travel.

Now coming out of the train sufferings , there are certain things which make train journey interesting.

You can get to see a lot of people .., rich , middle class and poor .The way they live , talk and behave .As usual , i try to get in to them and imagine myself responding to such situations . Then i wonder about how they would be living , what is that they want in life and stuff like that . I really love learning people.

As with most other things , i prefer to be alone when i travel . But these days , the thoughts of having a girl next to me is getting bigger .But she should not nag me all the time like the hot bhabhi sitting opposite to me . (No , she is not nagging me but her husband).

Music is another important ingrediant with travel . Music doubles my imagination , i can be totally lost in my thoughts . Wow !!!

There is a old man sitting next to me who is peeking in to my screen every now and then.There are only 2 reasons for this .He wants to know if i am watching porn , or he wants to go to sleep.

I shall respect the second option . Catch ya guys later .

The simplest definition of life !

2009-11-01T15:12:00.000-08:00

You cry for no reason ...

You are angry for not getting that pink colored doll ...

You are shy because she is looking at you ...

You are afraid because you are making love for the first time ...

You are the happiest person in the world because you have a child ...

You give her the best kiss in the world - your daughter has passed with flying colors ....

You feel like being the best man in the world , her happiness is our happiness ..

You are the best grandfather in the world ... Doesn't he look like my wife ?

You feel tired , but her hands give me a lot of support ...

You know its gona be over soon....

The moment of life ...

I lived a fucking great life ... i loved every moment that i lived ...

I loved my life ... It was so great !!

The simplest definition of life - "I loved my life"

Another dR day !

2009-10-25T03:37:00.000-07:00

Im Drunk ,

So i can write i whatever i want ....

"
When i seee you , i run out of words to say ..

i wouldnt leave you , coz you are that type of girl , to make me stay

I see the guys tryna holla , girl i don wana bother you ..

Coz you are INDEPENDANT , and you got MY attention ... "

Ketttooodiiii ?? Patti ????

Song - contnues

"Can i be your baby father , girl i just wana show you ..

That i love what you are doing hah ..

I see you in the club , you getting down good ...

I WANA GET WITH YOU "

But what can i do with that ? There are better Irish and scottish and richer guys than me ... Fuck that .. Let me continue singing ...

"You are so beautiful ., so DAMN beautiful....

I said , you are so beautiful ., so (Fucking) damn so beautiful ....

So beautiful ... beautiful ... "

Ok , none of the people who are gona comment here ask me why i am so depressed with love . Ask that B**ch ... Why cant she just tell me that she wana live with me ??

OK , relax Menon , after all , love is kinda beautiful thing , and you are not good when it comes to making a good lover .

I was screwing the bedsheet when i first did it !

I have no clue why i said that now . Its just a advice for people like my friend Jupiter who are gona get married ,and who have never done 'THAT' .

Sex apart , i am stopping this bullshitting now , i cannot be focused all this 'love thing now , got better things to do in life . Im going to Landmark to buy books ..

C ya

Btw , whats wrong in screwing the bedsheet ? It was so dark afterall !

The Blank moment

2009-10-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

Have you guys ever experienced the blank moment ?

Blank moment : A terminology invented/discovered by PhenoMenon at about 7:34 IST , Oct 12 , 2009 . Its a time when the time vanishes .

Its 7:00 PM on a monday evening . You check google calendar , the to-do list . There are several things to be done , like buying books , studying the rapid spanning tree protocol , look for a job abroad , look for short film festivals , look for screenwriting courses ... ohh! there are many things to be done

My friend wants to use my PC - That makes 70% of the to-do activities in-valid.

I gotta get ready and leave to office at about 8:30

90 minutes . What shall i do in the next 90 minutes ?

It has to be productive . So ,take out the options of watching porn or TV

Read a book ? Ok , lets do that from 8-8.30

Now there is 60 minutes left . Now what ?

Look at me in the mirror . I am a good looking man , oh yeah . Who is that model in 'Indian Terrain' ? Diya told me that i look like him .

Whats that asoles name ? Its not Ranbir Kapoor . , something else

Rannbir Kapoor has got a beard these days , and he says he is not yet committed to Deepika and all that bullshit .

You know what , now that reminds me of doing something . I gotta shave

These days i always shave in the saloon . May be i should but a new trimmer .

There is about 50 minutes left .

"Sorry sir , romba busy a erukkaen , 30 mins appram vaanga sir " .

Go translate that , the only clue i can give is that it is tamil .

45 minutes ???

Let me stand on this corner of the road . There is a big cut-out of actor 'Jai' to the left of me .. and the 'cigerrate shop' to the right .

Cigarratte shop has a husband and wife . They have a son who is studying in 9th standard , but poor boy is bad in mathematics .

Why am i wasting my time thinking about them ?

Now what ? 35 minutes ?

There is nothing in my mind now . There is nothing i go to do now . My life is on a complete stand still .There are vehicles going on , there is a very bad looking woman walking past me , there is something and all . But i cannot think about anything ...

The Blank Moment .

Let me look up . Sky . Stars .

I dont believe this . There still exist Sky , and stars . Oh god .. I really did forget about them . I have never seen them for , what , lets say , 10 years ?

When was the last time you looked at a star?

There is not just one , there are plenty . Plenty of them . Man! This is amazing ., i feel so good . I mean , i just realised that i am a man , a human being , a animal , or some stupid biological creature .

I wanted to be an astonomer when i was a kid . I was in love with stars . I always wanted to discover a meteor .

How did i miss you all these years ??

People are staring at me . They saw a man staring at sky in the middle of the road.

I suddenly realised that its almost 7:55 now . Where did the time go? Oh god , where did it go ?

The Blank moment .

Trust me , its a amazing experience .

What should i do with my Life?

2009-10-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

Tell me what should i do ?

1. Be a network engineer , go to UAE , earn well , marry a wealthy beautiful girl , have 2 good kids , bring them up well , go for old people associations , and die with your family and friends near you .

YUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK ............... I would rather die now than after wasting 50 years like that .... Oh god ,not this , not this one please.

2.Go to US/Europe/Australia , study Film making , work part time as network engineer .Come back to India , make beautiful movies , write beautiful stories

Wow .. sounds a lot better .But in reality , very very low chances of this happening. Why ? I am not rich like you :)

3.Stay in Chennai , i already have good contacts with film industry . But i dont know a damn thing about film making . So join as a assistant director , and study things , go on to make a movie at 30

Easy ? I have 2 Lakhs of debt to be paid off ! And how would my family react ? Throwing away a good career in engineering for nothing ? Also comes the very good chance of being nothing and lost in life !

4.Go to UAE , make some money come back and get in to film making

Well , at what age ? 67 ?

5.Stay normal , be network engineer , find another better job here in Chennai . Stay connected to films , hope that you will get a break some time in the future

My mom already asked me about marriage , and how long should i wait for this so called 'break in life' ?I thank God for giving me a healthy and good life . But the fact of the matter is that , i have never got that ' break in life ' which i believe is that factor which makes up a life for a person .

What should i do ? Does any one else have any other ideas ?

Letters , Words ,Aimlessness ,Confusions and Love

2009-10-01T06:57:00.000-07:00

What happens when someone starts writing something with no aim , no plans , no ideas ?

I love a girl , but I cannot be with her . Why ? I don’t know .

I like network engineering , I like talking to Americans .

I am in love with cinemas ., nothing gives me more pleasure than making films .

I am the most confused soul in the world

I go for jogging everyday

I get stomach pains whenever I get tensed

Past one week was the most disturbing time in my life in recent times .

I was a happy man till I fell for her , I was even more happier when I was with her , now that I decided to break up with her , I am shattered .

Don’t worry Menon , you will get over this .

I know where it all started , that was when I told her that I want to break up this relation .

My tears stop at the edge of my eyes , I cant cry . Its been ages since I have cried .

I am thinking of all the dirtiest things possible about her with the misconception that I would hate her eventually

I feel there is nothing better than her in this world

I LLLLLLLLLLLLLLOVEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUU …. I feel like screaming …..

I am a fucked up Devdas

What is that I want in life ?

I don’t want to go to UAE . Please mom , pleaseee , don’t force me

I want to do Film making course in LFS. It costs around 32 L, INR . I realize that it is just a dream , it will never happen .

The most important thing in this world is money

I realize that she is going to get another man soon . With her charm , beauty and smartness , that will be very easy for her .

God , please let me cry … please

I cant blame her . She is not like me , she is a very practical person .Why should she stay committed to a assole like me ?

I need to understand something here . No One in this world can understand Menon . I don’t expect that to happen .

What does love mean ? Does it mean , understanding someone truly ? Why cant she understand me ?

"What you expect Menon ? How can I understand you ? How long I can wait for you ? You were never bothered about me . I didn’t want to screw my life being with you , so I decided to be with this person . He is nice , normal man , who loves me , unlike you ."

Do you guys think I am mad ?

What is that I want in life ?

I think i am mad.

I want to be a film maker , I want to make many beautiful films

I want to write beautiful stories

I want to be rich and powerful … Oooooh., nothing is better than that

If you have money 80% of your problems are solved

I miss you my dear , I will never forget you . I LOVE YOU , I really do , right from the bottom of my heart ..

I can live without you , I can live as long as I have my dreams

But still I love you

I want to go abroad and study the best in the film making industry

The song Bas Ek Pal , is repeating for atleast 12^th time now .I am not bored. I am not doped .

Menon , I told you many times not to fall in love . You cant handle it . All your manliness , all your strength all your everything , just fades away . Still you took that chance . Its your mistake . You should have never tried that .Never !!

Letters , words – They are magical . When your fingertips touch the keyboard , it’s a beautiful feeling . Can I just keep writing till the end of my life ? If some one asks me , what is that aspect that you are 100% sure in the world . My answer would be instantaneous . I love writing . No no , writing is in love with me .Unconditionally . I can feel it , everytime , in MSWord , in that A4 sheet or even the bedsheet or wall where I scribble random things .

I want to write , I want to write till the end of my life .

Thank you Sindhu Teacher . Thank you for calling up my mom , and telling her that her son in 7th standard is a wonderful writer . If you have never said that , i would have never wrote any more , i would have never felt this happiness .

I don’t want to stop here , I want to write more , please ., why is that there should be an ending to every writing ? Pleassee …. Let me write ….

Love - Pain in the a$$

2009-09-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

Yet again , i am worried , confused and drunk .

Let me come straight in to the point , i kinda like a girl these days . When i say like , i am not sure if i am in love or anything ,may be because i dont really believe in it .

The thing is that , she is pretty awesome . Hot,intelligent and smart ! Whats more ,she is younger than me , of my same caste/creed and has similar attitude towards life . So we were going out pretty happily for past 5-6 months .

Now , there is a problem . She has left India , and probably we wont be seeing for next 1-2 years . Oops !

I am pretty happy that she is happy down there (well,i am bit jealous as well , as i have never been outside India) .I would want her to enjoy her life and have fun .

BUT . I feel bit uncomfortable these days . I feel that she would go on to find some one better , some one who would give her a lot of surprises and gifts (which i never did) , and ultimately , she would have physical relationship with him !!

I am acting like a Fucked up , old fashioned Indian lover boy ! Damn it !!!

I am heart broken . , and i am like "Why does the bitch have to doooo thhaat??? "

Ok , wait a minute . She is a good woman ., and she is not that bitchy kind .Why am i overdoing things here ?

I never proposed her , though i always knew she would accept it . I did not do that coz, i never believed in long distance relations . As my friend 'lineproducer' told me yesterday ,-"Out of sight is like Out of Mind" .

And there is another reason why i did not propose . I wanted to have sex with many women before i marry.

So look at me now . I really like this girl , but i am afraid of getting on to commitment . And more over , i would want to give her that time and space rather than taking a hasty decision . So i am not committed , and i dont worry about her .

But its not like that .Coz i am thinking about her a lot these days . Fuck it ! Moreover , i am not really feeling like going out with another girl !! In short , everything is screwed !

Sighhhh.....

Ok , my decision is correct . Let her live her life , and if she finds a better guy , let her be with him .It would have been worser if that happened after we got committed . Btw , lets pray she never finds anyone better .

I am not going to try some other girl(atleast for now) . I dont feel like doing it ., im fucking getting old , and i have a lot more important things to do in life .

The simplest way that a man can be happy , is by having a unconditional relationship with a woman .You dont lose anything by loving some one .., despite what she gives in return .Go watch Forrest Gump today .

There are lot more things happening in my life these days . Will let you know .

I feel so very better after writing this . Nothing gives me more pleasure than writing .

I am going to reduce my 'profanity' (interesting word eh? ) Let me change some alphabets to '$' symbol !

Finally , after several nights and days ...

2009-08-17T04:37:00.000-07:00

One Night Stand is over !

Thats right , my short film 'one night stand' is completed .It took around 4 months ! Ohhhh .. Thats just for a 12 min short film . I cant imagine what will happen when i make a feature film !

And i need to thank several people (and almighty)here . If i start to list them , i am sure i will miss some one . So if you are reading this and if you know that you have helped , please take my sincere thanks . I would not have reached here without you .

I am thinking about how to proceed . I am financially stuck ,so i would need to wait till next month to make proper DVD copies and stuff . , but before that i will have to send copies to all my well wishers .

If you ask me whether i am happy - I am . It was my big , long time dream . But then again , i am not satisfied with the film as such . I have made several mistakes and frankly , its not an impressive movie . I dont know why i am degrading my own movie , but whats the point in over hyping it just like all other film makers ? Black is black and white is white ,even if you defend it .

But having said that , i think this is an impressive effort from a person who have absolutely no experience in film making . I have really struggled in the making , of all sorts , and i am happy its visible .., some how .

Confusing post ? I am a confused man . So live with it !

Scared of laziness

2009-07-22T19:42:00.000-07:00

I wrote half of this post before 2 weeks and was so lazy to complete it and post it .
Now start reading .

Everyday i sit back and say to myself ., DONT BE LAZY -THIS TIME WILL NOT COME BACK.

But still , i feel i am getting lazy . Well , i was always lazy ., i was never that hardworking geek .. But that cant be an excuse now , i am already too old (going to be 25 this september - thats another thing that scares the shit out of me) , and i am nowhere near my targets (Thats not true , i am somewhere in the picture) .

So i need to start several things
-Utilise most of the time in productive purposes (Reading, Blogging,Film making ,Studying)
-Reduce the time spent to watch/read porn (I have promised my galfrnd that ,post marriage this time can be utilised for more 'productive' purposes )
-Sleep the right amount of time (Sometimes i sleep less , sometimes too much)
-Exercise every day
-Join a Yoga class or more preferably a place where they teach Bhagavad Geetha
-Reduce smoking

Many more things , but as always, i dont remember them all .

Achumama is complaining that i am not posting much in my blog , so even though i know that this is a boring post , i am posting it .

Muaaah !!!

^
|
What the fuck was that ? A kiss ??

The Struggling Film maker -

2009-06-22T01:48:00.000-07:00

Before 2-3 months ,i was on a chat with my friend 'invent' ( ofcourse all about films and film making ). I told him about one of my stories 'One Night Stand' and before i finished , he told me .., "Lets make it , i will share half the production cost " .

That's how it started , and here i am 2-3 months down the line , with almost 70% of the film done.I'm happy that i have reached so far , and i am sure that i will go ahead and complete it no matter what comes ahead ., but still i feel a bit down due to all the unnecessary yet inevitable delays (contradicting eh ? let it be ).

So here i go , i am going to share with you on all my experiences till now and what happens to my short film ..(whatever may it be ) .

Episode 1 : The Beginning - Script , Screenplay and DP

To start with , i consulted a few of my friends who have experience in film making , and asked them whether i am capable enough to direct a short film . And with all the confidence they gave , i decided to give it a shot .

Me and Invent went to visit a studio which he knew , and then discussed about the cam and other costs . We planned the whole thing and our cost came around 15 K . That's great ," i can spend 7.5 K ", we both said together ...

OK ,now i had the task of writing script and screenplay . It took me around 10 days and about 150 cigarettes to complete a 14 page screenplay (may be the font size was large) . But still i had a proper screenplay , with even cam angles !

Now the next task was to find a cameraman or DP or cinematographer or whatever you call that man who look very serious on set . I again went through my set of friends and saw a lot of profiles and checked out their works , . Thats how i came across CamSat . He was introduced to me by one of my friends Vicky . I arranged a meeting with CamSat and called up another friend ModAr , and we met up on one fine evening . I showed my screenplay to them . When ModAr , as expected was more into the production costs and the marketing stratergies and other things about how to sell this 'product' , CamSat sat back and quietly read the script . I kept looking at him , but he never looked at me , which made me happy ,as i knew he was still reading it .

Finally , he kept all the papers inside the file , and looked at me and said . "Thats interesting plot , lets do it " . I smiled , and ModAr shook his head .

When CamSat left , ModAr asked me a very important question . "He is a proffessional ,just completed a feature film as DP., doesnt he expect something ?I mean financially?" ... That question left me worried . I knew he was the guy who can do it , but my budget plan do not have a space called 'remuneration for cameraman' . I nervously called up CamSat and asked him politely . "Do you expect anything , ehh.. like remuneration" . He laughed for sometime and told me "Dont worry , lets do it , then if you find anything left in your budget , let me know "

I didnt know how to thank him ..,even at this point i dont know how to !

Next episode : Actor Hunt .

I was Busy !

2009-06-17T22:56:00.000-07:00

Long time , since i have written anything in here , but seriously , I was very Busy

Do i have another post just like this one ?Damn !

Ok , alright ., so as you would have read in the previous post , i had been behind that goose most of the time . And fuck , she hides well (If i make the goose a 'he' , i may sound gay) .

I started making a short film , after that long wait . But it is still incomplete . I will write another big bloody post about all the struggles and fun and diarrheas that i had to face in the process

I am wondering whether i am becoming normal in my personal life . I no longer spend days and months thinking about how to flirt and have sex (though i have hardly succeeded) . I recently went out on a date with a gal , and gosh! ., i was so bored . The same dialogues , the same places , the same style . I am seriously bored of this ..

There is another romantic part that is developing in my life . Fuck , i dont understand why these things are happening to me !I was not like this last time i wrote a post in here .
Did some one do an Illunga surgery on me ? Or is it just that i am getting older ?

Anyways , as my editor always says , lets keep it short ! I will come back with other great stories later :)

PS: There is nothing called as IIIunga surgery , i just used the toughest word in english so that you people would go crazy about it !
http://www.proz.com/forum/linguistics/22232-illunga_tops_ten_toughest_words_that_leave_translators_tongue_tied-.html

The Wild Goose Chase

2009-05-06T07:18:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my office , 5.30 AM in the morning waiting for my shift to end.I am back to night shifts after what they call as the honeymoon (training) period .

Oh did i tell you that i am finally on to a new project ? Its a different thing from what i have been doing for past 2 years , but i am happy that i at least have a job to go to .

So coming back to the topic.,I am wondering what all i want in life . The dreams are big and many . I want to be very very rich , i want to make wonderful movies , i want to tell beautiful stories , i want to be a good network engineer , i want to blog ,i want to have sex with a european woman , and finally i want to discover a meteorite which will crash on earth and we all get fucked !

Many people tell me that i am in a wild goose chase . And i agree .I am chasing a wild goose ., not just one , but many . And i have two explanations why i do it

1.I believe life is all about Karma Yoga . I dont want to lead a normal life and then when i become 60 , look back and think how stupid it was not to follow my passions when i was 20 .

2.Wild gooses are chase'able . All you need to do is a couple of months of jogging practice.If you don't trust me check this out
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greylag_Goose .

So let me continue wild goose chase .(My only worry is whether Menaka Gandhi and co. wouldfile a case on me . )

PS: I am not able to change the font of this post !

Im Very Busy !

2009-04-28T23:16:00.000-07:00

Yes , Im very busy these days and 'Im lovin it' .

Lot of things happened in between ,headlines are as follows-

'I DID IT' - After a wait of 24 long years

I recieved a lot of applications to join Sree Purusha Blogger Sena . If at all i had thought about this a bit earlier , SPBS could have had a seat in the parliment this time .

I have plans of making a short

My job is under a lot of pressure

Couple of my friends who recently became followers of this stupid blog , has asked me to write about them . Achayan and others , dont worry , i will write about you .

I even have a couple of posts ready to publish , but i feel this is not the right time . I will be back full fledged soon , c ya then .

:)

My Story in passionforcinema

2009-03-19T23:45:00.000-07:00

My story got published in passionforcinema .

http://passionforcinema.com/hmmm

I know its not that much of a BIG deal , but , it still makes me a lot happy to see my article among authors like Anurag Kashyap , Nasuridheen Shah etc . And more over , i think it is the first story to be published there .

I wrote this story , on a chat session with my friend Aishu . She just wanted me to tell her a story , and since i was jobless at office , just went on writing . I think she stopped listening after a while , but i didnt :P . And thus the story 'Hmmm' was made .

Check it out !

:)

Jade Goody and the fact of life

2009-03-05T21:06:00.000-08:00

I usually dont write about people , especially celebrities , but the story of Jade Goody is not yet another masala entertainer , it just teaches the cruel fact of life .

Called upon as the stupidest women ever to be a celebrity , hated by most sections of the intellectual western society , shock of a slumdog who became a millionare overnight, and most importantly , the Shipa Shetty issue and the celebration by Indian media .

Jade is among one of the most searched celebrity , has a billion dollar bunglaw , married to her teenage sweetheart , has a collection of finest dresses in the world , wonderful and healthy sons(4 and 5) , she has even been talked about in the Parliament ., but is going to die with in a month .

Jade did not know that it would be so soon , when she boarded the flight to participate in Indian Big brother show ., but that is the unfortunate and cruel truth of life .

Every day i see the British Media giving front page news about her , celebrating and making money out of the ' dying celebrity' . They give space for everyone who once abused her to come back and sympathise , give live updates of her literally devastated pictures , and take interviews of her friends , relatives or even the gardner . I have seen people in Tamil Nadu celebrating post death , dancing and crakers , they believe that they want the soul to go happily to heaven . Now , the Western society , known for its 'forward outlook' towards life , takes one step forward , and is celebrating death , before the person is dead . Here is a few headlines

I am not here to sympathise for Jade , but i want to appreciate her for her courage , to dress up as a bride with painkillers in the pocket , to come out smiling and talk to people , and finally to accept the fact of life and death at the age of 27.

God bless Jade and her sons .

Sri Purusha blogger sena

2009-02-13T18:48:00.000-08:00

I browsed through several blogs today and realized something .

Female blogs get unfair attention !

The scenario has become really worse . See , for instance , my blog is one of the best in the world , yet nobody reads it . I can show atleast a dozen dump blogs from hot girls (they have a hot dp , god knows if its real) , and they get atleast 50 comments per post ! :O WTF

God.. i cannot take this any more , i am jealous of all the hot girls in the world .

Im gona fight against this injustice shown against all guy (not gay) bloggers ! Im here by starting a Sena for all male bloggers who get zero readers . Its called as

Sri Purusha Blogger sena !

Our primary targets are

#Get 33% reservation for all Purusha bloggers
#Ban Hot Sthree blogs - Its against Indian culture
#Invade blog discussion rooms , drag all the Sthree's and beat them up

Further updates to be made after upcoming brain storming session .

SPBS ki Jai !

*Purusha - male
*Sthree - Female

I just want to write something !

2009-02-11T18:45:00.000-08:00

Thats it ! I just want to write something .

"Machaa machaa ... un mele aasa vachaa .. " This is the song i am currently listening to .

I have not smoked for past 15 days !

I have not got drunk for past 20 days !

My real player is really fucked up !

I am more hungry than horny these days :) !

Valentines day is coming up and i will be working , and planning to attend a interview as well ! Wow !

Economic recession and my project is screwed ! yeo !

"Daddy Mummy veettil ellai , thada poda yaarum ellai , vilayaduvoma pullai thillannaa" (Daddy and mummy is not at home , there is no one to stop us , come lets play )

I am googling for the lyricist of tamil movie 'Villu' .

I want to paste some picture now !

Got it ? The world and girls are both wonderful . Dont bomb them !

I am posting too many informative posts these days .

" Nazrain milaana...Nazrein churaana ... "

Valentines Day thoughts

2009-02-09T02:09:00.000-08:00

Ahh .. Valentine's day . This time its a Saturday , wow! Thats great news !

Whats the use of a valentine's day if you have to go to office , call your partner every half an hour , tell her how much you miss her and then in the evening , go out tired with her , doze off in between that 'valentine's day dinner' and go back home and complain yourself how sick the day was .

No worries this time folks , its a Saturday .

Wait a minute , why am i so excited after all ? :O

It will be the same old Feb 14 for me , as it was for most of the past 15 years (I am not taking my love life before 10 seriously) . These are the things that i would do this V day as well .

#Expect that some strange girl would call me
#Expect that some girl would come and talk to me
#Expect that the girls who are giving me looks are thinking of proposing me

And at about 9PM in the evening , when none of the above happens , i will feel bad , wonder why there is no girl in this whole world who would want to be my valentine . Then i will think about one or two of those valentine's days that i have actually celebrated , wonder how much i miss her and related shite thoughts .

At about 11.30 PM , i will be glad that i am still single , that i can drink , smoke and do what i feel like doing without any one pissing me off every now and then . Now thats a wonderful feeling , better than the 'feel of love' .

OK, alright ,i am not going to spoil the valentine's day mood , so i am gona give my suggestions for all those boyfriends/wanabe boyfriends .

*When you meet her , look at her eyes for about 8-10 secs and tell her 'You are looking so beautiful' . Trust me guys , there is no girl in this world who would not fall for that .

*Do not look and enjoy her body in the begining of the day , i will tell you when you can do that . Try to make her laugh .

*If you are eating lunch , eat well .Do not show formalities here , else ,you will get tired for activities later in the day . Make sure that you care about what she eats as well

*Tell her that you love cooking and learning different languages , but never got a chance till date .

*Make her feel like she is a smart woman,even though most girls are dump .

*If you are in for a movie , you can hold her hands or put your hands around ,but dont overdo things now . Most girls wants to feel that she is secured and loved and cared .

*Take her for a long drive in the evening .Tell her that she has got wonderful hair

*Take her to a dinner to a crowded restaurant and tell her that you are gona kiss her there ,then watch her get upset , and then tease her as far as you can , and kiss her when you are about to leave , preferably at the exit door , and give tips to the smiling watchman.

*Tell her that it would have been great if everyday was like this ,and how much you love her .

------Optional - Do not try if you are not sure -----------

*Ask her if she really wants to go home/hostel tonight . There is a late night party at a near by restaurant , which would be wonderful . (Now hold your breath and pray )

"Now what the hell was that menon ? Oh cmon ,you just have one intention , dont you ? Sex Sex Sex "

Alright , i didnt mean that . I am sure , even if she rejects and goes back home ,if you really love her , you would have enjoyed the day , and will definitely keep dreaming for the rest of the day .

So all valentines , enjoy the day , but drive safely :) If you need any kind of advices or tips ,do email/message me ,i am mostly jobless.

Alright , let me go and decide what i am wearing on saturday , i need to Google and find out what those colors correspond to !

Fever realisation

2009-01-21T20:26:00.000-08:00

Fever realisation

I have been recently hit by a very bad viral fever which knocked me out for over a week .

God ! That was some really bad experience. I am basically a very active person , and to stay in bed eating biscuits and bread , just made me go nuts . But bloody , i don't have a choice when i got fever.

I have always been a 'Fever Boy' . Fever Boy is someone who often gets Fever . I remember those cricket fields(i cant call them grounds ,coz they were mostly , rice fields converted to Lords and MCG ) , where i always had to wear a long sleeved shirt , to manage a nose running faster than me .

My mom was too caring that she never allowed me to go out early in the morning , or late in the evening , or eat ice creams or cold food .I could not even take bath in the ponds or stay in the sun for a long time . Though i violated most of those rules , i somehow ended up disliking ice creams . Even now , i am the 'Strange man' , because i do not eat ice creams . (That has a problem ,Cute Girrlls lovvve ish creams , and they hate guys who hate the gods own dish.)

Well ,when fever was a nightmare for me,there were this group of guys in my school , who loved getting fever . They said they do not have to come to school and could always sleep . WTF ! I just cannot understand people who loves to sleep for long hours . I usually get upset if i sleep too long . These people even used several tricks to get fever , stuff like , keeping onion underarms overnight ! Huh !

Taking too much of care of any disease could also be a problem . If it is a common cold , dont take pills . Let it stay , your immune system is good enough to prevent it .

Im worried whether my smoking drinking habits are affecting (is it effecting? bloody i always confuse these two words) my health . In the past 8 months i was hit twice by very bad viral fevers . I did a thorough blood test , thank god everything looks fine .

When i was lying down sleepless for long hours ., i just realised that our health is the most important thing in our life . There will be zero fun with bad health.When we all move around joking at everything , have we ever thought of those who are sick? Not just a fever ., but some bad diseases ? If a bad fever can bring such sadness to me , think about them .

So guys , yes , we all joke, drink , and fuck around a lot ., but everyday , stop for a second and thank that unknown someone , who has given you good health for one more day .

New year post (i am a responsible blogger)

2009-01-04T00:43:00.000-08:00

Actually , i have nothing much to write about new year .,but .,since it is the responsibily for every blogger to write so many 'Great things' that happened last year , and that are going to happen in the next year , here i go .

*I celebrated NYE better than any other NYEs i ever had in my life - I was at office , working . *

*I seriously dont remember what happened last year , except that i moved to Chennai , and that i got a job that i am enjoying till date*

*My last year's resolution got screwed up big time ,and I am still a Virgin * (Now that i thought about it , i am gona get drunk )

*This is how i look at the end of 2008 *( dont i look so Haawtt ? )

*Wish you all a very happy new year* ( If at all any one is reading this :P )

Vaal (not wall)

2008-12-28T21:18:00.000-08:00

Vaal (not wall) .

I am keeping up my promise of enlightening you guys with informative posts . This week its about a phenomenon called 'Vaal' and how pheno'menon' encountered its massive effect yesterday .

Vaal/definition/:
Vaal is the process of ejection(not ejaculation) of unnecessary alcohol in the body , mixed with snacks , water , pepsi and any other eatable substance taken before/after alcohol consumption .

Vaal is only found in malayalees , especially males . The same phenomenon is called as 'Vaandhi' in tamil nadu . When a person encounters vaal, that process is called as 'Vaalu vekkal'

I was getting a bit worried of not 'vaalu vekkal' for a long time.Actually i dont remember the last time i did it . But yesterday , it all came back , with all its fury , not just once , but thrice .

It was acmama's birthday yesterday .I came back after my night shift and went straight to TASMAC and bought 2250 ml of Oak Vat rum , 1950 ml of Vorion 6000 beer and 540 ml of Romanov vodka .I was the only person in charge to finish Romanov vodka .(I prefer Brandy + water ,but i just wanted to try something different)

Everyone arrived on time , and we started our pooja at about 11 AM .

It was about 6.00 PM , when i felt something rolling upwards from my abdomen . It was slow and steady , but it was definitely on its way out . I knew he was coming !

I am proud to say that with more than half litre of alcohol inside , i managed to move to the bathroom and position perfectly in front of the washbasin .Then , i told to myself .,"Yes , the long wait is over ,my kidneys are still in place , welcome back vaal"

Fucking - A City

2008-11-21T02:04:00.000-08:00

I have been talking a lot of nonsense here for a long time that i decided to do publish something informative and serious . From now onwards i will be enlightening you every now and then , so that our citizens become more educated and thus prevent global economic recession .

Todays feature is about Fucking - A city .

'Fucking' is a City in Austria . The settlement Fucking has existed since at least 1070 and is named after a man from the 6th century called Focko. (What a man !)

Fucking's most famous feature is a traffic sign with its name on it, beside which tourists often stop to have their photograph taken. It is a commonly stolen street sign. public funds have been spent on replacing the stolen signs .(What the fuck , you may be fucking citizens , but atleast let us take photographs of fucking sign , we too love your fucking city , we are fucking brothers and sisters )

In August 2005, the road signs were replaced with theft-resistant signs welded to steel and secured in concrete to prevent further chances of the sign being stolen . (Now its concrete fucking there ,wow)

Credits (except for the italicized comments) : Wikipedia

20 Random thoughts

2008-11-06T15:18:00.000-08:00

1#I feel that i am a good blogger , yet i dont get many visitors . WTF .

2#Every time i enter a train/Bus/waiting room etc , i hope that there will a hot girl sitting next to me , but it never

happens .

3#I am trying to quit smoking . Damn it is so difficult

4#What if some of my relatives come in and see this blog ? Il be screwed big time . I am a very good boy back home .

5#I am planning to write a blog on cockroaches . I have watched them so closely for over a decade .

6#Do not wear Underwear at home . It would restrict blood flow through vital areas .

7#I dont want to write blogs .

8#I love dogs and cats and tigers . I hate flowers and fishes and birds

9#Should i cut my hair or not ? I want to grow it long and be like John Abraham(old) , but i know i will end being like Sai Baba .

10#I am feeling horny.

11#I love cooking - Im gona write a few recipes as well .

12#My dear acmama , i know you'l be reading this . Thanks again , i dont have such good followers like you . Try to leave comments here rather than coming back home and telling me . Lets keep things official ! :P

13#I always confuse republic day and independence day .

14#I like being a network engineer .

15#Im hungry now , let me save this document and go eat something .

16#I tried a girl in orkut , now we are friends , but i like one of her friends now . Should i stick with the first or go for her friend ?

17#I am sad that McCain lost it , i wanted to see Sarah Palin every day on TV :(

18#Dravid will score a century in next innings ,Manchester United will rape Arsenal at emirates .

19#Shit , i forgot to wash socks .

20#Do girls get turned on by a 'Peter England' or 'Jockey' when guys bend down ?

The Smooch Story

2008-10-27T11:32:00.000-07:00

Oops , i did it again !

Britney would not have said that more than what i would have .

Well ., as you all expected this is another post on my never ending search of a good bitchy girl .

So , getting straight into the point ,. i smooched a girl last week . It was not such smo00ch smooch but it was better than just a French kiss . I really loved it for several reasons ., if you guys have read the virginity issue you would know what kind of a girl that i had been looking over the years. And you know what ?This was such a perfect match ., now listen carefully ..,

8:00 PM :I meet her

8:10 PM :We shake hands . I realise that she is not so cute but so hot .

8:30 PM :We go out in my bike to buy some stuff .

8:33 PM :I realise that she is bit too close than what usually a girl would be .

8:40 PM:I stop to buy some stuff . I notice that almost everyone out there is noticing HER (now that did hurt my ego ., look at me bastards )

8:45 PM:I decide to give it a try . I tell her that she is so cute (Trust me guys ., there is nothing better to make a girl happy than to tell her that she is beautiful)

8:45:30 :She tells me that i too look so cute and fresh (Fresh ? Thats odd, did she mean hot ?)

8:50 PM:I ask her to kiss me . (We are in the bike still,but its fun to kiss while driving)

8:50-9:10 : As all other girls would do , she teases me saying no , though i knew that she would definitely kiss me (I should actually write a book on Girls psychology )

9:15 PM: Finally she kisses me . I realise that it had been more than an year since i have kissed any girl . What a loser i am !

9:20 PM:We go back home

9:20 - 10:20 : Nothing much happens as my friends were there , except a few touchings and fondlings whenever we got a chance .

10:30 PM: She asked me whether we can dance (Oh hell yea , though i know only street dancing)

10:35 PM: Smchs after smchs (thats the short form that im gona use , im tired of typing that word) as All our friends were some where outside the room .

10:50 PM: I realise that she is too drunk , and i asked her whether she can come with me .

10:51 PM: She made me realise that she is a good drunkard , as she told me that she wont come with me tonight .

11:00 PM: Having realised that nothing's gona happen , i finish the remaining beers and call up my friends to leave .

11:10 PM:We are about to leave , she calls me up , and gives me her phone number and tells me "You call me next sunday and you can take me where ever you want "

End of description .

Now you see , thats the best thing that can happen to any man . Some hot girl , Not in love with me , do not want to marry me , thinks that i am hot , and she do not have the sick old traditional values .

Any man would have had a great time the next sunday .

But you see , this is phenomenon . And people who have read my blog would know that as usual , i would screw this thing up .And i did .........., Oops i did it again !

There is something strange with me ., because though i tried to call her (and her mobile was switched off) , i did not try hard to get in touch with her again after that night . When the next friday came , i thought about it , and decided to do it this time atleast .

But i dont know why guys ., i did not feel like going for it . I pity myself .,but again i cannot help it .Im like this , some one who would cry that i dont get any chances , but the fact is that even if i get it , il screw it up like this .

Sunday came ,I met one of my old friends who was taking a short film , and spend the whole day discussing about the script and other stuff . Finally when i came back in the evening ., i tried to figure out whats wrong in me .

I cant find an answer , but the point is that , though i crib over it again and again ,somewhere i get a feeling that i dont want to do it for the heck of doing it ..I dont know ., but there is something else that is necessary to be with some one ..more than just alcohol and hormones .

Hmm.. So another chapter gets closed . And i am back to level 0 . As always , lets hope i would cross levels atleast next time ...

Deserted .

2008-10-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

Times are changing , things are getting different in my life .

Somewhere from my early teens ., i always have had one or the other girl to hang around , dream , touch-feel , and make romantic conversations over phone .

Past 2-3 months , i am experiencing a relay withdrawal of girls from my life . One after the other , they all do not want to be with me any more . One or two i was really pissed off , as i never thought that they would do it ., or else i was a bit too confident of myself that i expected them always to hang around me . But i was wrong (i should be ) .

I got upset and tried to make new relation(s) . I always used to be pretty good (thank god) in making a new connection whenever i want . But i dont know why , this time , among 4-5 i tried , i must admit that i succeeded in hardly one .

Now thats strange . I used to succeed in these kinda things in the past . Or else it was my hobby .And its hard to digest this now . I was trying to find what was wrong with me , did i become too bad looking , or too boring or too poor ?

I called up thulu one day , and we had a very strange talk (details of which i cannot say in here) . ,and then Pratz ., i know they are both my good friends ., and it was them who made me think again .

The problem is not my looks or my smartness ., the problem is my Ego . Yea , it is . I have no reason why i need a relationship or a girlfriend (probably except the physical factor) ., and it is just for the sake of telling myself , 'hey dude , you have lot of girlfriends , you are cool ' that i am looking for a girl . That is so pathetic .

When i look at those who left in recent past ., atleast 3 or 4 of them wanted to marry me , and it is once they realised that it is never gona work out , that they left me . I expected them never to leave me and stick behind me even if they find a better guy . Oh cmon pheno , you are no hrithik roshan ! :P

Beyond all this there are a couple of reasons more that i see .

I am not very interested in flirting around and wasting time going behind girls . If they come for me , thats fine (Ha Ha , now stop laughing ) . I think its a matter of growing up . Am i getting a small realisation that i am not any more a silly college guy ?

The other reason is what is scaring me . I post all these things in here ., and then i have a link running from my orkut profile . I can see more and more hits on my blog ., and i am pretty very sure that a lot of people are looking in to all his crap . Are these girls staying away , because they have realised how bad a guy i am ! ?

If thats the case , i have two words for ya ! F off !! This is what PhenoMenon is , and this is what i will be ., if you cant take me like this , then you cant take me any time .

But still i get a feeling that i should take that link off my profile . I am not blogging to have a lot of readers enlightened ., or expecting that a publisher would come in and ask me to write a book ., but i do this because i love writing . And as i have said in my first post ., i need to express myself somewhere .

I know this is another boring post . I do not have many interesting things happening around me these days . WTF

Btw , even though i have poured out all this sentiments , i will tell you something ., i will still carry on hunting for girls ., hot girls ., and lets hope i would hook up with one soon . Pray for me guys !! :P :D

Birthday Bumps and a realisation .

2008-09-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

September 16 .

Hah! Its my birthday guys . Fuck . 24 years old ., i am almost an uncle , am i not ?

So what happened last year . Hmm ...,what ? Well, nothing much happened . And we should speak about last years on the new year day , and not on a bday , right ?

Oggay , so what else , what happened in past 24 years ? Psss .. thats even more boring .

Well what happened today could be a bit more interesting . My Bday started being heavily drunk, and the usual bumps (don't understand which bastard discovered that fuck all practice) and like every other bday boy , i cant walk properly now .

Well , i did cut a cake , though it was not a typical bday cake , i did cut one which my friend bought from home when he came back after Onam. Now , why that was special for me is because i don't remember cutting cakes for my bday in recent times . Such stuff are for gals and kids ,we would rather save that money and get one more bottle of alcohol . right guys ?

So , i started expecting calls and messages . That was when this bday was a bit different . I give a fuck about people calling me and wishing , and i seriously do not believe in such formalities , but its just that i have got used to it over the years .So this time too i expected a few calls .

But i didnt get many ! actually i got only 2-3 at around 12 midnight , and all 3 of them were not from people who usually calls me . I was really happy for that i have people other than the usual ones remembering my bday ., but i was kinda pissed off why the usual guys didnt call .

I tried to forget it and get on with my alcohol ,but i couldnt . Damn ., how could they forget my bday .

That is when i realised how bad i had been over the years . I dont remember any of my friends birthday . Why friends , i seriously is not sure of my mother/sister/father's bithdays . What a bloody asshole i am !

Now., was i getting it all back? I know its not because of it that my friends didnt call me , and they do not expect it from me . May be the bday calendar didnt ring for them or their mobile got switched off or something , but unfortunately , None called ! NO ONE called me damn it !

"Oh , cmon man , you are not gona cry over this , grow up " , You guys dont have to tell this to me , because i have never been such a sentimental ass . But i have just realised that , probably there is some necessity to give importance to lesser things in life .Though i am still too lazy to create a birtday calendar .

I finally called up thulu and blasted her for not calling me . Poor girl , she felt bad . Thats ok , she deserves to feel bad . LOL .

And ashez and few others called up today morning , but still there are loads missing . There still is some time left in the day , lets hope they all will make it before i am over 24 .

Note(s) Added :
1#This post was supposed to be done yesterday , but i was too lazy to do that .So just take this as if i have posted it on September 16 , 8 pm . (And nothing much happened after that , i went home , smoked and slept )

2#Those who called me an uncle ,because i have turned one more year older , and more because i have a mustache now , need to understand something . I am trying whether i can really have a mustache like south Indian superstars , which seems to be far off possibility after 3 weeks of mustache cultivation , and hence i may go shave soon .., And i cant do a fuck about growing older and older every year . Damn it .

A Loser Hero and couple of prostitutes !

2008-09-17T07:17:00.000-07:00

Prostitutes .

Very interesting subject . No no , i dont write porn here , so those who opened this link for some steamy encounters can close it right away .

So , for the rest ,this is a story about a loser (only in this aspect) and his encounters with prostitutes .

Well ,you are desperately horny and being a normal unmarried south indian , you have two options .
1#Get a girlfriend , screw her .

2#Go for a prostitute .

So , which one is better option ? I know you picked 1# .

But there are problems with 1# , as it has two subdivisions as well
1#
a)Your girllfriend do not give a damn about relationships , and is only interested in sex .

b)Your girlfriend , believes you , trusts you , and hopes that you will marry her .

Well, there lies the problem . Our hero here ,fortunately gets many girlfriends , but unfortunately they all turn out to be belonging to 1 b) ,or our hero thinks so. And our loser hero is a bit too light hearted that he dont want to make anyone unhappy just for sex.

Loser hero , do not want to get married or committed , but want to screw someone somehow .

So , such a condition , tempted our hero to go for option 2# . See , you dont make any one unhappy ,and there is no commitments . And whats more ,you are probably helping some one to earn a few bucks ., and more than everything , you are a MAN , finally !

Thats how the two encounters happened , one 2-3 years back , when hero was on a tour .

Lets brief the events that day .

Hero tempted all his friends to go for a girl , hero guided them and took them , hero paid for 2 of them , and hero went first .

But before going in , hero got a promise from everyone . We are not going to Fuck(literally) , lets see how a girl body would look ,and go back .

Agreed .

Everyone except hero screwed her in and out , and before hero realised that its not very clever to make promises with drunk guys , hero was out of money and time , and hence ., nothing happend . Well , NOTHING happened .

But hero was in full of tensions as he regretted what he did , and wondered whether he would get some STD's . Hero even went on to meet a doctor , and was afraid of going for a blood test . Poor guy . He then decided , that he will never ever pay for sex again .

Now , today , hero had to partially break that promise .

Hero never again tried for a pro(not proffesional pro , its prostitute pro . Interesting similarity though) , but today , hero's roommate , wanted to screw some one very desperately . Now he being a master in this buisness ., just took him an hour before he got her home , and unfortunately hero was home too .

Hero thought about it for sometime , and though not really horny then,desperation of a virgin, forced him to give a try .

Event inside the room detailed .

Hero goes in - locks the door -takes a look -pathetic lady- sits next to her - holds her - she kisses hero - hero moves away - hero asks her to undress - hero's tom dick and harry still not showing any interest - she tries to catch something and make hero interested - hero says thats enough - unlocks the door - hero goes out .

I dont have to add the fact that , room mate went in and had a great time . But now lets come back to hero .

Hero is sad as well as happy . Happy for the reason that he did not do anything , just saw her nude , and probably touched each other . Hero did not pay for sex this time , just had a little bit of fun , thats all .

Sad because , even if partially , he had to break his promise . And he is still afraid of STD's . Will they transmit if you touch the person ? I mean , just touch !? Oh cmon , we are all educated and we know there's no harm , but then its not that fear that is hurting him , its the regret . Its so unfortunate that hero is a hero and hence a good man .

Loser hero has promised himself that he will not even go near any pro's ever in life time . But will he keep his promise ? I think so , because this time he is not just afraid , he is very confident , and this decision is taken , not for making him happy for the time being , but because , hero knows that he do not want to do this .

Our Hero is a Loser , but he is still our hero isnt it ?

And do you guys know what ? Its good to call yourself a hero at times , but its not that cool when you call urself a loser every now n then !!

Confessions of a Pissed Off mind!

2008-09-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my office , pretty late night , and i am feeling a lot pissed off .

I know i should'nt be complaining when there are people worser than me ., but this no complaint , no cursing god or anything , the following is a crap note from a pissed off mind.

I know many of you have gone through this , and i believe we can feel better when we speak it out like this .

I am an underachiever ., wrt money i earn.

I perfectly understand that i have made mistakes in the past , like not bothering about a campus interview , or not studying too well in college ,or leaving a metropolitian city at the start of my career(that had some positives as well) .

But you see, i have been a good student(good - not outstanding)., I used to enjoy a lot , drinking smoking flirting partying , you say it , i have done it in my college days . Despite all that , i passed out with first class and a good score .Only mistake i made there was that i never passed a campus interview .

I did not really wanted to be a software engineer . Even now , i dont want to be ., so i do have an excuse for not clearing any campus interviews . Valid excuse ., and other than the money factor , i have no regrets of not being a software engineer .

Now , there were a lot like me , average/shit students and i can categorise them into 4 groups .

1# Over achievers

People who were/are real shit becoming big shots over night , some had a lot of luck , others had a lot of money to go abroad or start a buisness .

2#Achievers

People who were like me , but they either cleared a campus interview or some how became s/w engineers ., and even though many of them used to copy my programs in college , they all flew to US and UK and are all fucking rich now .

3#Under achievers (I fall here)

People who didnt study too well , or were unlucky not to get through campus interviews . People with abilities and desire , but for some reason , things do not happen that well for them . These people all have a job , are OK with life , and will never be called as losers , but still you know , these people should have been a lot better off by now .

4#Losers

This group is the worst of them all .People who were real shit , people who were average , people who were excellent are all here . I dont know what happpened to them , but they have achieved nothing till now . Some deserve it , many other dont . Thank god i am not here .

Dont ask me to compare myself with group#4 and be happy ., that is really a negative statement

We (group #3 ) dont know what actually went wrong . As i said earlier , we were not really good at studies , but we were/are really capable guys . As far as i am concerned , i finally got a good job , a job that i am really interested in ., a job where i am confident of being successful - Thank god again .

But its been 2 years since i have passed out from college , and it is only now, i am getting an average salary . All others in group#1 and group#2 are far ahead of me ., atleast say 10- 15 k per month .

And i see , freshers , people who used to consider me as senior , coming in and getting salaries which is more than i have after these 2 years ! Now i am ashamed about this , i really is .

Now dont come down and tell me that its not all about money . It is ! isnt it ? For those bastards sitting in group#1 and group#2 acting as if life is about love and not money , come down to #3 and #4 , and you will then know that it is the other way . Love and romance is all for you , not for us .

That again is another very important fact . Look at me . I look good , and i am a good man ., even a virgin . Now with all that , do you think that any hot girl will fall for me ? No , absolutely not . Now before thinking this is a stupid point , think yourself being in the shoes of that hot girl . Will you pick me or that asshole standing next to me , in nike t shirts and police sunglasses ? Yea , thats it , you will surely go for him - because you know he can afford to buy you a diamond pendant ,and take you to rich romantic restaurants(no cheap restaurants are romantic) .

People from group#3 may finally go on to earn good money after 3-4 years , and you start to think about discs and rich bitches or a car,. oh wait a minute , there comes your moms call , "dear son , you are too old , now go get married"

.

WOW ! MARRIAGE !

Now there ends all your dreams , and there starts your responsibilities and loans and kids and all the fuckign things in the world . If you dont earn big money before marriage , then what is the use of earning it ? Before dumping this statement , think again about it !It is a very true fact , especially with guys .

Coming back to our topic , i must make one thing very clear here . I have no problems with gods . Not at all ! They have been very kindful to me , and even if i become a begger tomorrow , i will not blame them , because i know they have given me a everything that i wanted . Most recently this job . I will be always thankful to them all this life .

I may be contradicting myself, but lets not bring in gods here . What i am trying to find out is what the fuck is wrong with me . Dont doubt it , i am some one who dreams big ., and want to be big ., i cannot be ordinary . Now you may tell me that thats what is wrong with me , but think again , is it ? What is wrong in dreaming to be big ? I have absolutely no problems with others becoming big , and i will not do anything to prevent others from becoming big ., and i never want to do bad things to be big . My line is very clear , and it is pure .

See , here is where i am ., i am happy for all those who achieved things , and i say this not because i am pissed off with their achievements , but just that , i am pissed off with myself ., MY FUCKING SELF !!!

But then again , you know what ? I will not give up ., i cannot give up .I will fight till end to get in to that day , when i can prove this world what i am capable of . Even if it never come , i will die with the happiness that i have atleast tried for it .

See , i am a positive man , but still, at times , even the most optimistic people will feel pissed off , wont they ? And i am in such a mood right now . Lets hope i will be a rich man one day , and that i will buy a football club , will fly to barbados to play golf and will marry a 18 year girl when i am 90 .

Oh , i feel a lot better now .., thanks guys .

Im in Chennai !

2008-07-22T22:17:00.000-07:00

Yea , thats correct . I moved to chennai last week .

Why ? How ? When ? What ? Damn ! WTF ! IGAF (i give a fuck) .. , Now , what ever your feelings may be , the fact of the matter is that i got a better job here and hence i moved . Certain other factors like , having a lot of friends and script writing aspirations etc , helped me to make my decision easy .

I seriously miss my friends there in cochin . My roommate musicdirector , thulu, the romatic couple , the funny couple , my colleagues , my fuck all owner , the alcohol (it sucks here) , the chiks (mallus are the hottest , you know that!) ,girlfriends (OK , thats a lie , i am happy that i lost contact ) ., the rains (some kids i met here do not understand what that is ) ., the beef and porotta , the kallu shop and everything . But , then , i know that things need to change in life some day or the other .

And now , speaking about chennai , i arrived here on wednesday (hey , my company paid for my air ticket ! , isnt that cool ? ! ) and almost immediately started sweating ,. and till this moment, sitting in an airconditioned cyber cafe , it has not stopped . Now thats chennai for you !

I am happy about my stay here ., good independent big house , where me , cuckoo , panchvipaas and D lives . Though these are the regular members , we have more people in our place almost everyday . Our home is a true 24 X 7 station , as there are people awake all the time .

There are loads of things that i want to write about , but i cant find much time these days . I hope to get the internet connection and stuff ready by next month . , So till then ., regular updations will be difficult . (But hey , i cant stop writing , and this is the only place i write these days , so i will be here sooner or later ) ..

And to all those who were awaiting honey moon trip part two , sorry for the delay , i was busy with the shifting and stuff , will get it done soon !

And to all chennai'tes ,
I agree that i cant pronounce O properly , but remember that its ZERO and not GERO !

The Honeymoon trip and a bottle of Vodka (Part 1)

2008-06-17T10:04:00.000-07:00

Last weekend will be unforgettable for me , something strange yet so fantastic happened .

I went down for a trip with 2 honeymoon(not exactly) couples .

Ha Ha , Look at me , laugh at me and ask me , What the Fuck are you doing in there !

But trust me guys , it was so so good , and i am sure that they enjoyed my company as well .

So one fine evening , few of my very good friends , call me up and tell me that we are going for a trip . But the 'we' included 3 guys and 3 gals , where there are 2 couples which leaves me and thulu.

Thulu didn't want to come ,personal reasons .

So i tried my best to slip away ., but couldn't ., and hence here we are ., one SUV , one very romantic couple at the back seat , one really funny couple in the centre , and me and driver bj upfront . Wow !

Wheels roll , bj the driver is so focussed that he hardly speaks anything , though i tried to talk to him about crappy vehicle related stuff like how much does a scorpio cost and what is the maximum distance he has driven . , until finally he gave me a face which suggested 'oh, cmon , shut the fuck mate , let me drive and you mind your buisness '

So i thought of looking back and probably tease the couples , or atleast have some common discussions ., but i soon realised they were not really bothered

Mr and Mrs romance were busy redefining romance , and i was like , "alright , you are meeting after a long interval , and this is probably the only chance to , errr , you know ... have fun :-P "

And Mr and Mrs A , were in some other world that they have invented for all the couples in the world of love , where they break up every 180 seconds and then hook up in another 120 seconds . So if you happen to be his good friend , and if you are with them in between these 120 seconds , you are really pissed !! Big time , coz before you think about the reason for the break up and the chances of getting it right , there they are , standing right in front of you , " Ohhh chweety , i love you ... "

And you look at yourself and asks , " Is the earth revolving around you or that you are revolving around the earth "

So here i am , reading a milestone which says 130 kms to destination , and wondering what to do !

And that is when i found her , so beautiful , so hot , so pure and so lovable , right in front of me .So gentle , so innocent , her curves making any artist jealous .

And her silky white top told me her name

White Mischeif Vodka

"Jab se tere nainaaaa .. meri naino se , bhaage reeee ...

Tab se diwaana hua , sabse pe gaana hua , rab bhi diwaana lagi reee ... Ho oooh oooo ... "

(to be continued)

The Magic of a Bar !

2008-06-09T09:53:00.000-07:00

The Magic of a Bar .

Things which we cannot find explanation to , scientifically or technically or whatever .., are called as magic . Isn't it ?

And hence we really do have a magic in bars .

(Bars : Place where liquor/alcohol is served . ) *

This has amused me all the time since i have started drinking ., and after lot of research and inquiry i have come to one conclusion

This is magic !

Why is it a magic ?

1#You and your friend buy 360 ml of any brand/type alcohol , go home , share it and complete it by an hour .

You are not really DRUNK , or is out of control

You have your food , you reply properly to your bugging house owner and you watch porn and sleep .

2#You have 90 ml of alcohol from any given bar , have enough food and get back home

You are fucking DRUNK , and you tell your owner to fuck off , and you fucking forget to take off your shoes and you retype the whole fucking sentence on your blog and you fucking dont know why you are using so many 'fucks' in one go . Fuck!

See , im confused , can any one help ?

Is it my problem or is it a common problem ?

Oh , by the way

*Definition for those fuckers who think that they are chubby chweety kids .

Fuck , i hate my blog , im drunk !

Missed you all

2008-05-31T22:45:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time .

2 months to be exact , and i missed you all .

Lot of things happened around me , and i was so involved in many things for such a long period that i could just not get enough time to sit back and write something . Thanks to tata indicom as well , it took almost a month to get my internet transferred to my new place .

So to start with .,

I moved . I am living with themusicdirector(tmd) now . I am starting to like the new place , except for the fucked up house owner (again) and the sick switches .

I visited and stayed at my ancestral place for some time , it was great .

My sis and family were here for the vacation . My nephew Achu simply rocks !!

I am almost a drunkard now .

3 of my ex girlfriends came back to me ., and i am confused again .

I want to leave cochin desperately . I just cannot stay in once place or be with one girl for a long time .

One gorgeous girl whom i had a crush on is not speaking to me coz she read my blog , and thinks that i am the dirtiest guy she had ever seen .

I realised again that i am in deep love with computers and my bike . Its almost impossible for me to live a life without them . Its true love what i have with them , no sex involved .

I got salary appraisal .

I have put down a lot of weight ., some 2-3 kilos . I have treasured each and every milligram that i have put till i became 70 kg last month , and now , its all gone in a week , and i am back to 65 .

I was hit by a very very bad fever . And those 3 days were the worst days of my life in the recent past .

I am getting really frustrated coz i am not going to gym or doing anything physical , but drinking and smoking a lot .

And I passed CCNP with 98 % . Oh God , thank you so much . I am so happy that my efforts were paid off .

Manchester United are the Champions of Europe !!!! Glory Glory Manchester united !!! Cut me through i will bleed red , Man United till death !!!

I found and spoke to some one , who had made a lot of difference in my life . Quite unexpected . And we spoke as if , nothing has happened in the past 3-4 years . That was very strange ., but i loved it .

I am working with my friend to make a short film , lets pray that it works out well .

So may things , this life is interesting, isnt it ?

The Gay Encoutners

2008-04-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

Im Pretty Handsome .

I mean i am pretty and Handsome .

And sometimes , i wish i was not !

And i fucking mean it !

Yaaradee nee Mohini (Tamil) is the movie , and i am happy that its interval . I rush to the toilet and i am waiting with my hands on the zip .

There it is , some old ass is moving out , let me get in ...

"God !! Isnt this the greatest pleasure ... pissing and shitting ??" I ask to myself .

"Hey , dude , Phenomenon , im feeling shy ! " Dick says

"Why the hell, you are all mine " I try to console him

"Look right you idiot " Dick

And i see him , trying his very best to get a glimpse of my dear dk , over the marble piece that seperates us , in between my hands and my trouser ... shite ... i am feeling shy to explain this ! :-(

What has just been a honeymoon trip becomes a nightmare for my dk , i somehow get things in and leave .

I knew he would follow me , and he did .

Red Bright shirt , well shoven , well dyed hair , and loads of cheap perfume all over .. I still remember him well .

Puthiyathalapathy , who accompanied me for the movie, drunk to the core , was blabbering something in the walkway . I tried to take him and get back to the cinema hall , but he was persistent on having a smoke

And there i stood in one corner , trying not to bother the red shirt bastard gay , smoking restlessly .

And there he was , smiling at me , and adjusting his shirt , as if telling me , "ohhhh .. hotttieee ..rip off my clothes and take me down " ......

YUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ...

Fucking hell , i hate Gays ... i really do .... Oh God .....

I have always wondered how girls would feel , whenever someone touched them here and there ,, in the buses and crowded areas n all ..Will they get erect just like that ? are they enjoying it ? My seniors in school have told me that they would ..

And to confess , i have tried to touch a hottie of my class twice or thrice in the bus , when i was in my 9th grade .

But little did i know that i would get it all back , very badly

I remember my first gay encounter being in a bus , when i was a kid , some one tried to , get a grip on it , i was stunned , and did not know what was happening , and ran towards my brother .

Then years later , when i was like , hoo hoo ., the college dude ... One day on my way to my college , there was this tamil guy sitting next to me , who always misplaced his hands on MY thighs rather than his .

Then , again in my early college days , there was this guy who followed me to every seat i shifted , and finally i had to jump off the bus to escape

I remember , once we were all standing in a bus stand , late night , a gentleman came in , offered us a drink , a full bottle , if ,,, IF , we could go with him and stay with him in his room ...

And then , recently , an old asshole , who kept looking at me while i was enjoying my evening smoke in a a shop near my house ..

And by this time , i have had enough encounters , that i actually knew how to deal with them ...

"Can you give me a lift pls " He looked at me pathetically

"Which way you want to go " I asked him as i turned my bike to left

"This way ofcourse " He showed me the direction where i took my bike

I tried a Zeroing(though it did not work the way i wanted to ) and got my vehicle turned 180deg , and told him

"sorry sir , i am going this way "

"Its Ok , i dont mind going that way " He smiled at me

I lost it there , son of a bitch . Just because he was atleast my grandpa's age i didnt punch him ., but did give him a good essay of abuses .

Ohhhh...

And then there was this guy , my friend ., who was bisexual .

Damn , and you know what , none of us dared to sleep next to him . Especially if you are fair and drunk . You never know when his hands get out of control

Seriously guys , its difficult .

I hate these bastards , though i am ready to accept them . I mean , its ok if you are gay , nothing wrong , i mean what can you do about a disorder , well , its not even a disorder . Its just that you are a bit different .

Its fine with me , i have even written a story "Being straight" about the sufferings of a gay , and how the society ignores them .

Well ., all very easily said , it is very difficult to deal with them .

I just have one sincere request to them , dont force any one , dont try to seduce us , its irritating , to the fucking core .

OMG

Just now i realise how sad it is for the girls , i mean , if there are 10 gays in 100 , then the rest 90 are straight , just think about the girl's condition then

Sorry , Hottie of 9th standard , i never meant to do that , and will never do that .

And its difficult guys ,

ITS DIFFICULT TO BE STRAIGHT IN THIS WORLD !!

:-( :-(

Bye Bye Angel

2008-03-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to all these romantic songs for a few hours now , and hence i feel a bit romantic , or rather, sad .

Statuatory warning : I am going to be unlike phenomenon in this post , going to be a very boring old love story and related sentiments .

I wanted to say bye to angel .

I have had been with many girls , in love with many girls . Some have been special , that is , a very few have actually loved (kind of ) me too .

And Angel is one of them , special , she will always be

I met her in the last year of my college , and had been with me for a about one n half years , before , as usual , i forced a break up .

The way we got hooked up was amazing . It was actually so unrealistic , that even if i tell you , you wont believe it .

I mean , we met in a Mall in chennai , and we spoke for about 10 minutes , and that was it , we got hooked up .

And that was the greatest achievement till date in my flirt life . 10 minutes , and you have made a chick (she is/was hot ) fall heads over heals !! Wow !! fantastic Menon , fantastic !!

Ok , as usual , my intention was to , hmmm , do it ! :-P

Cmon guys , we all fall in love for that , i dont think there could be anything more than physical attraction in the first sight !

So there we were , in love !

I play smart with girls . I mean , i have this small egos , like i will not propose first , i will not kiss her first etc etc . So at the end of the day , i could say , "Hey ,.. you did it first , not me '

I know thats cheap , but what to do , i am like this guys !

You guys know what ? I am such an unlucky asshole . Because everytime i hook up with a girl ,i expect them to be bitches , but then , i get the best girls , i mean , the GOOD Girls !!

And being such a fucked up good guy , i will not feel like cheating them and hence , effing them !! :-(

So that happened with angel . I did not wanted to cheat her , or use her . She used to be so good to me , so supportive , so caring , so inspiring . And you know what , she is one of the girls that phenomenon repects in this world . Thats some achievement , not many girls have earned that .

I remember the evenings we used to spend in beaches/theatres/coffeeday , and everything.

One night when she dropped me back in my place , i kissed her right in the middle of the road , (empty road) . That was so romantic , and we both loved it !

The main reason why she earned my respect was not beacuse she loved me or cared me . But because she was not just another girl . She is someone who i always happy , so hardworking that i myself felt ashamed of being so lazy , earns her pocket money by tough part time jobs , studies well , take care of family , cooks , does household things and then , finds a lot of time for me .

Seriously , you are a wonderful person , someone whom i must look out and learn a lot .

Only thing that i did not actually like in her is that she was too lean and was a bit boringly romantic .

So the big question , why the fuck did you break up with her ?

And the answer is , hmmm ., i dont know

She was north Indian , and i felt her and family and mine will never go well together . And then , she had a great future in modelling . I was such a fucked up asshole , who would not want his girl to be model , or be exposing , and all other silly stupid thing'ies of a south indian man .

I hate my Indian insticts some times ., damn !

So hence , i had two choices , either take her , ask her to quit modelling and all , or else , leave her and let her prosper .

Ok , now when i say i opted for the second choice , dont think it was because i am such a good man or anything . It was because of several other crappy ideas of mine

But for sure , i did not wanted to interrupt he bright future , and wanted to see her growing up bigger and better in her career .Thats the love factor

And then , i do not like to get committed , even if she is the best girl , i feel tied up , i feel i am losing my freedom , and why the hell should i do it , when i have a option ? See , if you are married , you cant say , this , atleast let me do it now .

So my ego + stupidity + love ended up in me neglecting her for atleast one year , when she waited for me .

Now last month when i called her up, before the valentines day , she told me that there was this cute guy , who is from her own community , rich and handsome , who is proposing her for some time , and she asked me what to do .

I being such a great man , told her , to go ahead and not wait for me .

And then i did not get a call from her on v day , which i usually do get for past 3-4 years .

And last week when i called her up , she was not speaking properly to me , and she asked

"Can you please call me after sometime ? Hmm... i am with ... Mr..... "

When i hung up the phone , i felt bad , realy bad and sad .

She has never told me that before , and that was the moment that i realised that she was gone , gone forever .

She called me the next day , i did not pick , nor did i call back . It will be better if it ends here . ,and let me forget her .

I dont know why i am writing all this , but then , we all have such times in our lives , dont we ? And i am pretty sure she will not come across this blog , and hence its all safe .

I am not regretting my decision , i know i have made the right decision , but still , you know , it hurts .

And angel , i wish you all the best wishes , be happy !

And me ?Ha Ha , i love writing , and searching for new girls so that i can continue writing blogs like this............... LOLs.... Crazy me !

Caught by Kerala Police

2008-03-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

"Pha Pelayadi mone , Kerada vandiyil "

(You son of a bitch , get in the vehicle )

No , this is not the intro scene of a South Indian police movie , but the intro scene of a very interesting night in my life

My friend Puthiyathalapathi gave me a treat last week , rather , i forced him to give me a treat ,. as i desperately wanted to get drunk and i had no money .

He wanted to go to a far off Bar , which is good , but then i say this to him .

" Dude , we are educated people , we should'nt be driving drunk , if we do this , our next generation would also do this "

He looked at me from tip to toe as if asking me who the fuck are you to advice me ,

"So we will walk to the nearest Bar " He says

I did not like that , i am too lazy/rich to walk to a bar , after all its not a crime driving a couple of kms drunk , as a matter of fact i drive better when i am drunk .

So we are here at the nearest Bar , and i had a peg or two extra as it has been a long time . We thought of getting food from some where else as it was too costly in there .

So there starts our journey , He behind me smoking , and i concetrating hard to keep left on road .We decided to stop at a nearest hotel , i park the vehicle properly , another vehicle parks behind me , and puthiyathalapathy murmurs

"Damn , Police"

The moment i heard that , a lightning went across my body , and being smart(or rather i thought so) i did not look around and walked straight in to the hotel .

"Give me the menu" ??

"Pha Pelayadi mone kerada vandiyil " ....

So thats the flash back , lets get to the main story .

Puthiyathalapathy was crying to let us go , so did i , but we stopped soon and started laughing at each other as soon as we were sitting in the Police jeep . Wow , its actually cool sitting in there , i felt excited !

So we reach the police station , and i was asked to sit with the 'culprits'

Hamsa the fisherman , Jojo the college student , A taxi driver , a gentleman . , and oh yeah , ME

I knew there was no point in arguing any more , so i started enjoying the whole thing .

The police station was a typical police station as we see in films , but , BUT , believe me guys , there was a neat TOILET , oh god , i was shocked to see that !! :-O I took a photo there in the toilet , i will attach it !

Now i met these policemen , who are really friendly , Mr. B who is a constable , Mr.V who is a ambulance driver , Mr.D who is a head constable and Mr.Varu who is a Principle SI

Hamsa(must be 50-55 , a poor fisherman who was caught while going back home) looked at me , and started yelling ,

"I dont give a fuck about police , i have already killed one , i will not hesitate to do it again"

I could not control my laughter , but again i felt bad for him , too old to behave well in this condition , so i put my hands over his shoulder and asked him to relax

Now the police man calls my name to write the crime file .,

"What you do Mr. " ? He looked up at me from the chair

"Hmm , Sir , we are both engineers "

"Ha Ha , so we have a engineer here today " ... He looked at every one else , expecting them also to enjoy the comedy

For some reason , they found it really funny of me being a engineer , what the fuck , cant engineers be caught drunk ?

Now i meet Mr.B , who was comparatively young , was very friendly with me , but he was angry at something

There was this gentleman who is working for a Big Buisnessman , and he was driving with that businessman , so in short , though the Big shot did not get caught , his employee did , and as a good employer he stayed there , playing the Big Daddy .

And the driver was asked to come in to take place of his employee , but unfortunately , Mr.B did not agree and filed a case in the name of this gentleman employee

Start music

The Big shot started threatening one police officer after the other , and i could see the pity condition of our police officers . Even i felt like saying something back , but they did not , they were in short afraid of the money power of the other man .

Poor guys , thats when i really started to like them

We were taken to the jeep to go for the medical test , now it seems the big shot did not get talk to the commissioner and hence his employee had to come with us

The trip to hospital was one of the best journeys i ever had

Hamsa was on a role , he just could not stop yelling !!

And we all laughed and laughed , and then suddenly i caught an idea

Video tape the whole thing , it wont happen always

So i took my mobile and started video taping ., I finished one , and went for a second one with close up shots of poilcemen , i wanted to get their facial expressions right

Now Mr.A saw me and caught my mobile , and started searching my videos

And then ..

And then , he was blushing , i had many 'hot clips' in my phone :-P He took his phone up , and i believe he would have transfered those clips .

We reached the hospital , and the doctor checked my blood pressure and let me go . There was no fucking alcohol test , how on earth would they know if i was drunk or not ?

I came back to our jeep , and saw Mr.B standing in one corner ,on phone , playing with the leaves of a tree close by , giggling and showing all other features of a flirt .

Poor guy , he is like me , just because he is police officer we cannot expect him to behave unnaturally .

I wanted to smoke , and i had none

I went near Mr.B and asked him for a smoke .

He looked back at me , laughed and said ,
"Damn , you are a culprit and i am a police officer , how dare you "

I started to walk back , but he called me and gave me the cigerrate , i was happy .

"Get in to the jeep and smoke , dont smoke outside , if some one finds you , i would be answerable "

Lovely , so lovely , i am asked to smoke inside a police jeep , only inside a police jeep .

Hussain in the mean time , asked the doctor to measure his blood pressure in his legs , and the police officers had enough , and that paved way to one of the greatest dialogues i have ever heard in real life

Mr. A and Mr.B was really angry and started shouting very badly at hussain , after all he asked for it .

Then Mr. B said this

"I have been in the service for 14 years and i have not hit a single person till date ,today it seems i will have to do it "

Dude , he said 14 years ., 14 fucking years as a policeman and he has not even touched a single man !!

Was he serious ? Must be , there is no reason why he should be lying , if at all he was lying it would have been the other way .

Gosh!!

It was almost 1.30am when we reached back the station

As we were almost about to get off the vehicle , Hamsa came in behind me , held my hands and told me

"you should not be drinking son , you are too young , dont do it "

I felt bad for the first time , poor guy , he means it when he says it , i am a bad boy after all !

Puthiyathalapathy came in asked me how it was , and told me that he has talked to the Big shot about producing his new film ,fucker , when i was being taken away by police , he was trying to find a producer for his film ?

Now that i have signed the papers and bid bye to Mr.B and others , Mr.Varu the principal SI calls me up

He looks like a policeman , the bad policeman , with that creaky sound and the fuck all looks etc .

It seems he liked me (was he gay ?) , and wanted to tell me something ,

"Dude , do you know who i am , the principal SI , the SI of SI's , and i have 5 SI's under me ... "

Fuck , i have not eaten anything the night and when i thought its all over , here is an asshole boasting about his achievements . Btw , it was this guy who called me a SOB in the begining .

Finally , someone came in from the station and told him that the nephew of CI is caught for drunken driving . Now Mr.Varu asks us to leave and come and meet him tomorrow if we need some help .

Puthiyathalapathy and me walked back home with some unforgettable memoes

Btw , i got back the mobile and he did not erase any videos . I would have proudly presented it to you , but you know what , i forgot to turn it to night mode , and i can see nothing , no fucking thing .

PS: It was a very forgettable night for me the next day , i was asked to pay a fine of about 2500 Rs , and now to save all that , i will have to quit drinking for atleast a month .Varu did help me , and let me go even though without proper documents , i had to bribe them with Rs.200 though .

Also i have decided not to drive drunk again , thanks to the fine ,Hussain and the list of accidents they showed me .

Kids - a weakness !

2008-02-21T10:33:00.000-08:00

Again , yet another issue that worries me !

I love kids .

I find them so sweet , choooooo chweeeeeeeeet !! Especially baby girls .When i say kids , i mean those in between 1-5

I dont like those less than 1 , coz they are boring , and look so dumb , pisses/shits all over the place , and go to sleep too often .Whats more , they want to stay with their mothers always !

I dont like those older than 5 , coz they become intelligent , and start to show the attributes of being a proper human being . Stuff like speaking properly , acting smart/brave etc .

But in between 1 and 5 ! Ohhh god ! Its heaven on earth .

I usually dont like unclean people , but when it comes to kids (from now on when i say kids , its the 1-5 range) , i have no caste/creed/color/whatever ..., i just love them

You know whenever i see them looking at me so inncoent , with their eyebrows hardly grown , with eyelashes fluttering too often , ohhhh, you guys dont know how hard i try to control myself from taking them from their fucking mothers (ok ,i know that was rude , but i generally hate young mothers , i will come to it later ) , and play with them !

Sigh !

Whats wrong with me !The whole thing makes me uncomfortable .

I mean , i should not be like this , i am a cool new age guy , who cracks joke at every other thing and hardly have any feelings , you know , the good old rough and tuf guy!

Atleast , i am trying to be like that , else i will get no respect from my friends .

But every time i see a kid , the whole ruf and tuf melts away , damn ,i sometimes lose it completely and start to speak about kids , where my friends would be talking about banging the neighbor girl . How sick am I !

Another issue is that , i am not really that kind of a boy who likes the chweet things in the world , seriously , this is not something that i am making up .I donot like ice cream (Yea ICE CREAM , now close your mouth and continue reading) , sweets , chocolates , birds(YUCK) , flowers .

When i am a guy like that , how the hell this kid thingy came on to my mind ? I have no idea .

Ok , i like cats , dogs , tigers (not lions , i hate them) , and one of my greatest dreams is to adopt a tiger kid and grow it up for 3-4 years , all on my expense and care ! Wow ! I think the tiger development board (or whatever) allows that !

So coming back , what is wrong with me ?

And the worst thing about this is that , i like baby girls more !

And i hate adult girls , i really do !

Every time i see a baby girl , i could see her mother not really taking care of her ! damn bitches !!

I think the new age girls do not really love their kids as our mothers used to do !

I hate when girls (adult) try to show off , especially 'awwwh i am a cutie ' stuff ! Grrrrrrrrr!!!! I hate you !!!

So just imagine what i would feel when young mothers try to do that !! And not bother about their kid moving around ? What if she/he falls down ? What if some one accidently step over them ? What if they eat something big or dirty ? Damn , i cannot even think about all that !

Ok , i am stopping here , if i think about that , i will lose control .But in short , you bloody bitches , i want to kill you all !!

I have this friend named Ash , she is too crazy about kids . But may be in a different way ., she actually like the 0-1 babies , and hence not my kind .

Some one told me that i will have many kids when i get married .

I will be marrying late , its uncool to be a father at a young age ! And whats more , you will need to have a WIFE , a bloody effing Wife !!

I thought of this artificial insemination thingy the other day .

May be i would need it , i dont really want to get married and have a wife , but i want a kid .

So ., artificial insemination could be the only way .

But then there is another problem , i know that every kid needs a mother ! Not just a father .

And my kid should have everything , and hence surely a mother .

Damn , i will have to get married after all .

And even if i have a baby girl (i have decided upon her name ) , what will i do when she goes over 5 years ? Will she be yet another girl that i see everywhere ?

No , she is my kid after all .

Where am i going ?? Ha Ha , look at me , 23 years old , atleast 6 years away from a marriage/child. , and already i am worried about my kid . LOL

This is what pheno'menon' is all about , i am really funny ..,am i not ?

LOLs

The Virginity issue

2008-02-14T11:14:00.000-08:00

Male, 23

I am a virgin

No , not a joke .

I am really getting worried about this .

I have had many girlfriends , but then , you know ..,you know , i just could not do it , i mean , IT !!

Now ,stop laughing and saying 'bugger is impotent' .... No , its not that . I am just very perfect with the perfect amount of chromosomes (ohh , wait a minute , i meant hormones ) , and other required ingredients .

So thats not the case ,. so what may it be ?

You know what , actually i had chances to make out with atleast 3 girls , and i wasted it all .And when i say wasted , this is the worst way any one can waste an oppurtunity .

I had this hot hot girl as my girlfriend , and she once called me to go out to some tourist spot and stay in there .

I was watching some bloody tamil film , where the hero actually sacrifices his life and dreams for the girl. And after long thoughts , i realised being a true lover , i should not be doing this before marriage . And it ended there .(the bad luck started )

BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!! You useless a****h*** , you said marriage ? when she would not even have thought about it ? Damn , you fool , now you know why she left you after couple of months ,you loser !!!

OK , thats an old story , may be i was a bit too childish then , but now what ?

I have actually asked this to many of my friends who are girls (not girlfriends) about this .

Prat thinks i am a gay .

I would have killed her if she was somewhere near me ..., that was too rude..

Hmm , am i gay , could i be ?

Damn man , i am not , i mean , yea , i once happened to see this gay porn with my friends , but i did not get any pleasure from that . And also , i was attacked (or rather approached) by gays 2-3 times , i did not give up !!

Now will liking hrithik roshan and john abraham be gayish?Is it ? Well it cannot be.

I am not a gay , get that? I AM NOT A GAY

But i am 23 , 23 effing years old .

Another one of my friend girl , thulu , once told me that it is actually nice to be a virgin . She says it is wonderful to be with one partner for an entire life time .

Now just imagine these conditions ,

1#I stay virgin , my parents find me a educated well behaved good looking girl , and on our honeymoon ,she tells me that "this is not the right way to do it dear husband , are you doing this for the first time ?"

2#I stay virgin , my wife too a virgin , and we live happily . When i finally die and go to heaven , god will ask me , "what on earth were you doing in there for all these years you fool , you just spoiled the only one chance you had to live !!! "

From 1# and 2# , what do you realise ?

That being a virgin is total shite and thulu , you are wrong , and you are making a mistake by being a virgin .

I have made this new year resolution , of not to be a virgin any more ! I am proud of that !

But i cannot actually do it with any girl you know , i mean certain conditions must be satisfied

1#She should not be a whore (literally ) , and i will not pay her for sex

2#She should like me , and really should enjoy being with me

3#point 2 vice versa

4#She should be hot , and should smell good

5#She should not have any plans to marry me

6#She should love me for the time being

7#She should not call me when i am not interested in speaking to her .

8#I will not stop smoking or drinking for her

9#I should not feel sad when she finally leaves me

10#She should not like Shah rukh khan , and should like cricket and football

11#I should not cheat her in any way

and most importantly

I should not fall in love with her .

Ok , those are the few simple conditions that i have , but then i cannot find a girl who matches the above criteria .

When there are idiots who make make out every weekend , i am sitting here staring at the stars and my neighbors bedroom window , you girls out there , you are missing out on something . I mean , i am hot and handsome , smart and funny , educated and employed .

I think she is going to sleep now *

I am a useless guy , really . With all the abilities and capabilities , i am just wasting my life . You know , just imagine being with one girl for a life time . YUCK, one girl ? Its like wearing the same underwear for a life time

Ok , now what if she is a virgin , it could be a bit better , something like wearing a clean Jockey underwear for a life time , but it still is so stinky!!

Yea , she is off to sleep , Damn *

Im so pissed off !!

May be it was better to be a gay or impotent !

*I was looking out to my neighbors window , where a hot girl lives . I am trying to grab her attention for past 4 weeks , but she just dont care . It had just been yet another bad night for me !!

Being Shite is Being Great

2008-02-06T10:05:00.000-08:00

Hmm yea ,

You know what it feels like , being shite ?

Its tough guys , it really is .

I mean , there will be some point of time in your life , wait a minute , there will be many a time in your life when you feel that you are useless , you are no one , that you are HSTIE .

I think i am a writer ,
but then , its been ages since i have read a book . I tried to read a few , which i bought from a sale , very cheaply , but soon realised that they are totally boring and hence not worth reading . But then are there any writers in the world who do not read books , i mean, can i ever be a writer without being a reader ??????

Shite man !!!

Now ,

I think i am a movie buff , an expert , a good reviewer , blah blah

Now when ordinary people ask me , have you seen this classic , that one , the other one ?? NO , i havent ! Do i know much about Al pacino and co ? NO

Then how the hell can i be a movie expert ? How can people ever be a expert without knowing about the classics ?

Shite Maaaaaan!!!

Ahh , now the worst one

Engineer , Computer science !!

Software engineer , graduate , First class , good scores . Can you write a program for me ? Hmm ... errrr .... NO

See , i am not working as a software engineer , i have never been one ,but still i have the degree hanging around my neck that every second person that i meet , see it , and wants me to write a program for him , even if he is confused betweem a PROGRAM AND PROGRAMME !!

Shittttttttteeeee Mannnnn !!! !

Thats it , i am shite .

Now but then , you know what , every one is ! Really .., if you are reading this , you know that you are shite , dont you ? Ohh , now dont turn around and see if any one else is watching you , no, no one is , admit it mate , you are SHITE !!

And that makes is cool , doest it ? Yea , so here is that wonderful pheno-menon principle for you

Being Shite = Being Normal

Now there are normal and abnormal people in the world . I mean when i say abnormal ,those people who have become Gandhi's and Sachins and Davoods , those abnormal people . And normal are we , the normal ones

Think about those abnormal guys . They are rich and power ful and blah blah , but then its kinda boring is'nt it ? There are a very few people like them and that makes them stuck to the same crowd . They can't even go out and have a smoke in the evening .

So what does it mean ?

Being Normal = Being good

No No , not just good .

Being Normal = Being Great !!!!

So from a) and b)

Being Shite = Being Great

So chill guys ,. and party today , because you have just realised one great truth in the world :-P

The Begining

2008-02-03T01:24:00.000-08:00

Hmm , So here we go

My second blog , i have decided to make the other one exclusive for film reviews .

I am here because i got inspired by eM the blogger .

She is hot and funny (i have not seen her till date though) and i 'Wannabe' like her , famous and rich. :-)

Do'nt think that i have started writing after i saw her , no , never . I have written this story named 'The red sun rising' when i was , 10 years old . I have never stopped writing since . I dont have a family full of writers or artists or people who belong to the 'artist' world . No , not even a trace of it . And i have never written anything for the heck of writing . Most of my stories have not been seen by any one , but still i think that they all rock . Cmon , seriously , they all ROCK !

Now i have this problem of too many thoughts , i mean i have this uncontrollable over flow of ideas and imagination , that i find it difficult to retrace them and present it to my people . And even if i remember , i may not have the right person to tell this to

Hence this blog , Where my thoughts and ideas and experiences , all will come in . Im afraid of idea thefts though , Ha Ha :-P

C ya then
With loads of puffs and pegs
Menon