Kids - a weakness !

Again , yet another issue that worries me !





I love kids .





I find them so sweet , choooooo chweeeeeeeeet !! Especially baby girls .When i say kids , i mean those in between 1-5

I dont like those less than 1 , coz they are boring , and look so dumb , pisses/shits all over the place , and go to sleep too often .Whats more , they want to stay with their mothers always !

I dont like those older than 5 , coz they become intelligent , and start to show the attributes of being a proper human being . Stuff like speaking properly , acting smart/brave etc .

But in between 1 and 5 ! Ohhh god ! Its heaven on earth .

I usually dont like unclean people , but when it comes to kids (from now on when i say kids , its the 1-5 range) , i have no caste/creed/color/whatever ..., i just love them

You know whenever i see them looking at me so inncoent , with their eyebrows hardly grown , with eyelashes fluttering too often , ohhhh, you guys dont know how hard i try to control myself from taking them from their fucking mothers (ok ,i know that was rude , but i generally hate young mothers , i will come to it later ) , and play with them !

Sigh !

Whats wrong with me !The whole thing makes me uncomfortable .


I mean , i should not be like this , i am a cool new age guy , who cracks joke at every other thing and hardly have any feelings , you know , the good old rough and tuf guy!

Atleast , i am trying to be like that , else i will get no respect from my friends .

But every time i see a kid , the whole ruf and tuf melts away , damn ,i sometimes lose it completely and start to speak about kids , where my friends would be talking about banging the neighbor girl . How sick am I !

Another issue is that , i am not really that kind of a boy who likes the chweet things in the world , seriously , this is not something that i am making up .I donot like ice cream (Yea ICE CREAM , now close your mouth and continue reading) , sweets , chocolates , birds(YUCK) , flowers .

When i am a guy like that , how the hell this kid thingy came on to my mind ? I have no idea .

Ok , i like cats , dogs , tigers (not lions , i hate them) , and one of my greatest dreams is to adopt a tiger kid and grow it up for 3-4 years , all on my expense and care ! Wow ! I think the tiger development board (or whatever) allows that !

So coming back , what is wrong with me ?

And the worst thing about this is that , i like baby girls more !

And i hate adult girls , i really do !

Every time i see a baby girl , i could see her mother not really taking care of her ! damn bitches !!

I think the new age girls do not really love their kids as our mothers used to do !

I hate when girls (adult) try to show off , especially 'awwwh i am a cutie ' stuff ! Grrrrrrrrr!!!! I hate you !!!

So just imagine what i would feel when young mothers try to do that !! And not bother about their kid moving around ? What if she/he falls down ? What if some one accidently step over them ? What if they eat something big or dirty ? Damn , i cannot even think about all that !

Ok , i am stopping here , if i think about that , i will lose control .But in short , you bloody bitches , i want to kill you all !!


I have this friend named Ash , she is too crazy about kids . But may be in a different way ., she actually like the 0-1 babies , and hence not my kind .

Some one told me that i will have many kids when i get married .

I will be marrying late , its uncool to be a father at a young age ! And whats more , you will need to have a WIFE , a bloody effing Wife !!

I thought of this artificial insemination thingy the other day .

May be i would need it , i dont really want to get married and have a wife , but i want a kid .

So ., artificial insemination could be the only way .

But then there is another problem , i know that every kid needs a mother ! Not just a father .

And my kid should have everything , and hence surely a mother .



Damn , i will have to get married after all .



And even if i have a baby girl (i have decided upon her name ) , what will i do when she goes over 5 years ? Will she be yet another girl that i see everywhere ?


No , she is my kid after all .



Where am i going ?? Ha Ha , look at me , 23 years old , atleast 6 years away from a marriage/child. , and already i am worried about my kid . LOL


This is what pheno'menon' is all about , i am really funny ..,am i not ?

LOLs

The Virginity issue

Male, 23















I am a virgin









No , not a joke .













I am really getting worried about this .

I have had many girlfriends , but then , you know ..,you know , i just could not do it , i mean , IT !!

Now ,stop laughing and saying 'bugger is impotent' .... No , its not that . I am just very perfect with the perfect amount of chromosomes (ohh , wait a minute , i meant hormones ) , and other required ingredients .

So thats not the case ,. so what may it be ?

You know what , actually i had chances to make out with atleast 3 girls , and i wasted it all .And when i say wasted , this is the worst way any one can waste an oppurtunity .

I had this hot hot girl as my girlfriend , and she once called me to go out to some tourist spot and stay in there .

I was watching some bloody tamil film , where the hero actually sacrifices his life and dreams for the girl. And after long thoughts , i realised being a true lover , i should not be doing this before marriage . And it ended there .(the bad luck started )

BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!! You useless a****h*** , you said marriage ? when she would not even have thought about it ? Damn , you fool , now you know why she left you after couple of months ,you loser !!!




OK , thats an old story , may be i was a bit too childish then , but now what ?

I have actually asked this to many of my friends who are girls (not girlfriends) about this .



Prat thinks i am a gay .






I would have killed her if she was somewhere near me ..., that was too rude..






Hmm , am i gay , could i be ?






Damn man , i am not , i mean , yea , i once happened to see this gay porn with my friends , but i did not get any pleasure from that . And also , i was attacked (or rather approached) by gays 2-3 times , i did not give up !!

Now will liking hrithik roshan and john abraham be gayish?Is it ? Well it cannot be.




I am not a gay , get that? I AM NOT A GAY





But i am 23 , 23 effing years old .

Another one of my friend girl , thulu , once told me that it is actually nice to be a virgin . She says it is wonderful to be with one partner for an entire life time .



Now just imagine these conditions ,

1#I stay virgin , my parents find me a educated well behaved good looking girl , and on our honeymoon ,she tells me that "this is not the right way to do it dear husband , are you doing this for the first time ?"

2#I stay virgin , my wife too a virgin , and we live happily . When i finally die and go to heaven , god will ask me , "what on earth were you doing in there for all these years you fool , you just spoiled the only one chance you had to live !!! "

From 1# and 2# , what do you realise ?

That being a virgin is total shite and thulu , you are wrong , and you are making a mistake by being a virgin .

I have made this new year resolution , of not to be a virgin any more ! I am proud of that !

But i cannot actually do it with any girl you know , i mean certain conditions must be satisfied

1#She should not be a whore (literally ) , and i will not pay her for sex

2#She should like me , and really should enjoy being with me

3#point 2 vice versa

4#She should be hot , and should smell good

5#She should not have any plans to marry me

6#She should love me for the time being

7#She should not call me when i am not interested in speaking to her .

8#I will not stop smoking or drinking for her

9#I should not feel sad when she finally leaves me

10#She should not like Shah rukh khan , and should like cricket and football

11#I should not cheat her in any way


and most importantly

I should not fall in love with her .




Ok , those are the few simple conditions that i have , but then i cannot find a girl who matches the above criteria .


When there are idiots who make make out every weekend , i am sitting here staring at the stars and my neighbors bedroom window , you girls out there , you are missing out on something . I mean , i am hot and handsome , smart and funny , educated and employed .

I think she is going to sleep now *

I am a useless guy , really . With all the abilities and capabilities , i am just wasting my life . You know , just imagine being with one girl for a life time . YUCK, one girl ? Its like wearing the same underwear for a life time

Ok , now what if she is a virgin , it could be a bit better , something like wearing a clean Jockey underwear for a life time , but it still is so stinky!!

Yea , she is off to sleep , Damn *


Im so pissed off !!

May be it was better to be a gay or impotent !








*I was looking out to my neighbors window , where a hot girl lives . I am trying to grab her attention for past 4 weeks , but she just dont care . It had just been yet another bad night for me !!

Being Shite is Being Great

Hmm yea ,

You know what it feels like , being shite ?

Its tough guys , it really is .

I mean , there will be some point of time in your life , wait a minute , there will be many a time in your life when you feel that you are useless , you are no one , that you are HSTIE .

I think i am a writer ,
but then , its been ages since i have read a book . I tried to read a few , which i bought from a sale , very cheaply , but soon realised that they are totally boring and hence not worth reading . But then are there any writers in the world who do not read books , i mean, can i ever be a writer without being a reader ??????

Shite man !!!

Now ,

I think i am a movie buff , an expert , a good reviewer , blah blah

Now when ordinary people ask me , have you seen this classic , that one , the other one ?? NO , i havent ! Do i know much about Al pacino and co ? NO

Then how the hell can i be a movie expert ? How can people ever be a expert without knowing about the classics ?

Shite Maaaaaan!!!

Ahh , now the worst one

Engineer , Computer science !!

Software engineer , graduate , First class , good scores . Can you write a program for me ? Hmm ... errrr .... NO

See , i am not working as a software engineer , i have never been one ,but still i have the degree hanging around my neck that every second person that i meet , see it , and wants me to write a program for him , even if he is confused betweem a PROGRAM AND PROGRAMME !!

Shittttttttteeeee Mannnnn !!! !

Thats it , i am shite .

Now but then , you know what , every one is ! Really .., if you are reading this , you know that you are shite , dont you ? Ohh , now dont turn around and see if any one else is watching you , no, no one is , admit it mate , you are SHITE !!

And that makes is cool , doest it ? Yea , so here is that wonderful pheno-menon principle for you

Being Shite = Being Normal

Now there are normal and abnormal people in the world . I mean when i say abnormal ,those people who have become Gandhi's and Sachins and Davoods , those abnormal people . And normal are we , the normal ones

Think about those abnormal guys . They are rich and power ful and blah blah , but then its kinda boring is'nt it ? There are a very few people like them and that makes them stuck to the same crowd . They can't even go out and have a smoke in the evening .

So what does it mean ?

Being Normal = Being good

No No , not just good .

Being Normal = Being Great !!!!

So from a) and b)

Being Shite = Being Great

So chill guys ,. and party today , because you have just realised one great truth in the world :-P

The Begining

Hmm , So here we go

My second blog , i have decided to make the other one exclusive for film reviews .

I am here because i got inspired by eM the blogger .

She is hot and funny (i have not seen her till date though) and i 'Wannabe' like her , famous and rich. :-)

Do'nt think that i have started writing after i saw her , no , never . I have written this story named 'The red sun rising' when i was , 10 years old . I have never stopped writing since . I dont have a family full of writers or artists or people who belong to the 'artist' world . No , not even a trace of it . And i have never written anything for the heck of writing . Most of my stories have not been seen by any one , but still i think that they all rock . Cmon , seriously , they all ROCK !

Now i have this problem of too many thoughts , i mean i have this uncontrollable over flow of ideas and imagination , that i find it difficult to retrace them and present it to my people . And even if i remember , i may not have the right person to tell this to

Hence this blog , Where my thoughts and ideas and experiences , all will come in . Im afraid of idea thefts though , Ha Ha :-P

C ya then
With loads of puffs and pegs
Menon