Sunday, October 25, 2009
Another dR day !
So i can write i whatever i want ....
"
When i seee you , i run out of words to say ..
i wouldnt leave you , coz you are that type of girl , to make me stay
I see the guys tryna holla , girl i don wana bother you ..
Coz you are INDEPENDANT , and you got MY attention ... "
Ketttooodiiii ?? Patti ????
Song - contnues
"Can i be your baby father , girl i just wana show you ..
That i love what you are doing hah ..
I see you in the club , you getting down good ...
I WANA GET WITH YOU "
But what can i do with that ? There are better Irish and scottish and richer guys than me ... Fuck that .. Let me continue singing ...
"You are so beautiful ., so DAMN beautiful....
I said , you are so beautiful ., so (Fucking) damn so beautiful ....
So beautiful ... beautiful ... "
Ok , none of the people who are gona comment here ask me why i am so depressed with love . Ask that B**ch ... Why cant she just tell me that she wana live with me ??
OK , relax Menon , after all , love is kinda beautiful thing , and you are not good when it comes to making a good lover .
I was screwing the bedsheet when i first did it !
I have no clue why i said that now . Its just a advice for people like my friend Jupiter who are gona get married ,and who have never done 'THAT' .
Sex apart , i am stopping this bullshitting now , i cannot be focused all this 'love thing now , got better things to do in life . Im going to Landmark to buy books ..
C ya
Btw , whats wrong in screwing the bedsheet ? It was so dark afterall !
Monday, October 12, 2009
The Blank moment
Blank moment : A terminology invented/discovered by PhenoMenon at about 7:34 IST , Oct 12 , 2009 . Its a time when the time vanishes .
Its 7:00 PM on a monday evening . You check google calendar , the to-do list . There are several things to be done , like buying books , studying the rapid spanning tree protocol , look for a job abroad , look for short film festivals , look for screenwriting courses ... ohh! there are many things to be done
My friend wants to use my PC - That makes 70% of the to-do activities in-valid.
I gotta get ready and leave to office at about 8:30
90 minutes . What shall i do in the next 90 minutes ?
It has to be productive . So ,take out the options of watching porn or TV
Read a book ? Ok , lets do that from 8-8.30
Now there is 60 minutes left . Now what ?
Look at me in the mirror . I am a good looking man , oh yeah . Who is that model in 'Indian Terrain' ? Diya told me that i look like him .
Whats that asoles name ? Its not Ranbir Kapoor . , something else
Rannbir Kapoor has got a beard these days , and he says he is not yet committed to Deepika and all that bullshit .
You know what , now that reminds me of doing something . I gotta shave
These days i always shave in the saloon . May be i should but a new trimmer .
There is about 50 minutes left .
"Sorry sir , romba busy a erukkaen , 30 mins appram vaanga sir " .
Go translate that , the only clue i can give is that it is tamil .
45 minutes ???
Let me stand on this corner of the road . There is a big cut-out of actor 'Jai' to the left of me .. and the 'cigerrate shop' to the right .
Cigarratte shop has a husband and wife . They have a son who is studying in 9th standard , but poor boy is bad in mathematics .
Why am i wasting my time thinking about them ?
Now what ? 35 minutes ?
There is nothing in my mind now . There is nothing i go to do now . My life is on a complete stand still .There are vehicles going on , there is a very bad looking woman walking past me , there is something and all . But i cannot think about anything ...
The Blank Moment .
Let me look up . Sky . Stars .
I dont believe this . There still exist Sky , and stars . Oh god .. I really did forget about them . I have never seen them for , what , lets say , 10 years ?
When was the last time you looked at a star?
There is not just one , there are plenty . Plenty of them . Man! This is amazing ., i feel so good . I mean , i just realised that i am a man , a human being , a animal , or some stupid biological creature .
I wanted to be an astonomer when i was a kid . I was in love with stars . I always wanted to discover a meteor .
How did i miss you all these years ??
People are staring at me . They saw a man staring at sky in the middle of the road.
I suddenly realised that its almost 7:55 now . Where did the time go? Oh god , where did it go ?
The Blank moment .
Trust me , its a amazing experience .
Thursday, October 1, 2009
What should i do with my Life?
1. Be a network engineer , go to UAE , earn well , marry a wealthy beautiful girl , have 2 good kids , bring them up well , go for old people associations , and die with your family and friends near you .
YUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK ............... I would rather die now than after wasting 50 years like that .... Oh god ,not this , not this one please.
2.Go to US/Europe/Australia , study Film making , work part time as network engineer .Come back to India , make beautiful movies , write beautiful stories
Wow .. sounds a lot better .But in reality , very very low chances of this happening. Why ? I am not rich like you :)
3.Stay in Chennai , i already have good contacts with film industry . But i dont know a damn thing about film making . So join as a assistant director , and study things , go on to make a movie at 30
Easy ? I have 2 Lakhs of debt to be paid off ! And how would my family react ? Throwing away a good career in engineering for nothing ? Also comes the very good chance of being nothing and lost in life !
4.Go to UAE , make some money come back and get in to film making
Well , at what age ? 67 ?
5.Stay normal , be network engineer , find another better job here in Chennai . Stay connected to films , hope that you will get a break some time in the future
My mom already asked me about marriage , and how long should i wait for this so called 'break in life' ?I thank God for giving me a healthy and good life . But the fact of the matter is that , i have never got that ' break in life ' which i believe is that factor which makes up a life for a person .
What should i do ? Does any one else have any other ideas ?
Letters , Words ,Aimlessness ,Confusions and Love
What happens when someone starts writing something with no aim , no plans , no ideas ?
I love a girl , but I cannot be with her . Why ? I don’t know .
I like network engineering , I like talking to Americans .
I am in love with cinemas ., nothing gives me more pleasure than making films .
I am the most confused soul in the world
I go for jogging everyday
I get stomach pains whenever I get tensed
Past one week was the most disturbing time in my life in recent times .
I was a happy man till I fell for her , I was even more happier when I was with her , now that I decided to break up with her , I am shattered .
Don’t worry Menon , you will get over this .
I know where it all started , that was when I told her that I want to break up this relation .
My tears stop at the edge of my eyes , I cant cry . Its been ages since I have cried .
I am thinking of all the dirtiest things possible about her with the misconception that I would hate her eventually
I feel there is nothing better than her in this world
I LLLLLLLLLLLLLLOVEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUU …. I feel like screaming …..
I am a fucked up Devdas
What is that I want in life ?
I don’t want to go to UAE . Please mom , pleaseee , don’t force me
I want to do Film making course in LFS. It costs around 32 L, INR . I realize that it is just a dream , it will never happen .
The most important thing in this world is money
I realize that she is going to get another man soon . With her charm , beauty and smartness , that will be very easy for her .
God , please let me cry … please
I cant blame her . She is not like me , she is a very practical person .Why should she stay committed to a assole like me ?
I need to understand something here . No One in this world can understand Menon . I don’t expect that to happen .
What does love mean ? Does it mean , understanding someone truly ? Why cant she understand me ?
"What you expect Menon ? How can I understand you ? How long I can wait for you ? You were never bothered about me . I didn’t want to screw my life being with you , so I decided to be with this person . He is nice , normal man , who loves me , unlike you ."
Do you guys think I am mad ?
What is that I want in life ?
I think i am mad.
I want to be a film maker , I want to make many beautiful films
I want to write beautiful stories
I want to be rich and powerful … Oooooh., nothing is better than that
If you have money 80% of your problems are solved
I miss you my dear , I will never forget you . I LOVE YOU , I really do , right from the bottom of my heart ..
I can live without you , I can live as long as I have my dreams
But still I love you
I want to go abroad and study the best in the film making industry
The song Bas Ek Pal , is repeating for atleast 12th time now .I am not bored. I am not doped .
Menon , I told you many times not to fall in love . You cant handle it . All your manliness , all your strength all your everything , just fades away . Still you took that chance . Its your mistake . You should have never tried that .Never !!
Letters , words – They are magical . When your fingertips touch the keyboard , it’s a beautiful feeling . Can I just keep writing till the end of my life ? If some one asks me , what is that aspect that you are 100% sure in the world . My answer would be instantaneous . I love writing . No no , writing is in love with me .Unconditionally . I can feel it , everytime , in MSWord , in that A4 sheet or even the bedsheet or wall where I scribble random things .
I want to write , I want to write till the end of my life .
Thank you Sindhu Teacher . Thank you for calling up my mom , and telling her that her son in 7th standard is a wonderful writer . If you have never said that , i would have never wrote any more , i would have never felt this happiness .
I don’t want to stop here , I want to write more , please ., why is that there should be an ending to every writing ? Pleassee …. Let me write ….