Blogging in a Indian train .

Been sometime since i have thought of writing when i am travelling . And finally , here i am., leaning over the window of Korba express , protecting my screen from being smashed by people walking across.

I am travelling from Palakkad to Chennai. Went home for a short vacation . The vacation however turned out to be pretty bad , as i fell sick as soon as i reached there.

I love travelling . And i hate travelling .

Seriously i am not sure which one to give preference .

I hate trains .However, A/C coaches are better . I must dedicate this post to the A/C ticket i managed to get . The normal sleeper class totally freaks me out.

Why on F'ing earth are people littering all over the place ? Its HIGH time that Indian railways do something about it .Give proper waste baskets everywhere in the train, and empty them at constant intervals . I know that people would still do crap , but it can be controlled to a good extend.

Eating inside the compartment . Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhh .. I dont know why i hate this , but i simply cant stand this . People bring all sorts of things from home and starts eating as if they are on a 5 star hotel restaurant . Pleeeease ... lets have a dining compartment . Increase ticket charges for this . Lets travel with a pleasent smell.

What should be done to get the toilets proper ? Why cant they clean it at every station ?

This is why i prefer flights . Less time , more cleanliness , and ofcourse air hostesses .

But unfortunately , i am no way closer to be rich to take a flight every time i want to travel.

Now coming out of the train sufferings , there are certain things which make train journey interesting.

You can get to see a lot of people .., rich , middle class and poor .The way they live , talk and behave .As usual , i try to get in to them and imagine myself responding to such situations . Then i wonder about how they would be living , what is that they want in life and stuff like that . I really love learning people.

As with most other things , i prefer to be alone when i travel . But these days , the thoughts of having a girl next to me is getting bigger .But she should not nag me all the time like the hot bhabhi sitting opposite to me . (No , she is not nagging me but her husband).

Music is another important ingrediant with travel . Music doubles my imagination , i can be totally lost in my thoughts . Wow !!!

There is a old man sitting next to me who is peeking in to my screen every now and then.There are only 2 reasons for this .He wants to know if i am watching porn , or he wants to go to sleep.

I shall respect the second option . Catch ya guys later .

The simplest definition of life !

You cry for no reason ...

You are angry for not getting that pink colored doll ...

You are shy because she is looking at you ...

You are afraid because you are making love for the first time ...

You are the happiest person in the world because you have a child ...

You give her the best kiss in the world - your daughter has passed with flying colors ....

You feel like being the best man in the world , her happiness is our happiness ..

You are the best grandfather in the world ... Doesn't he look like my wife ?

You feel tired , but her hands give me a lot of support ...

You know its gona be over soon....





The moment of life ...


I lived a fucking great life ... i loved every moment that i lived ...


I loved my life ... It was so great !!







The simplest definition of life - "I loved my life"

Another dR day !

Im Drunk ,

So i can write i whatever i want ....

"
When i seee you , i run out of words to say ..

i wouldnt leave you , coz you are that type of girl , to make me stay

I see the guys tryna holla , girl i don wana bother you ..

Coz you are INDEPENDANT , and you got MY attention ... "

Ketttooodiiii ?? Patti ????

Song - contnues

"Can i be your baby father , girl i just wana show you ..

That i love what you are doing hah ..

I see you in the club , you getting down good ...

I WANA GET WITH YOU "

But what can i do with that ? There are better Irish and scottish and richer guys than me ... Fuck that .. Let me continue singing ...

"You are so beautiful ., so DAMN beautiful....

I said , you are so beautiful ., so (Fucking) damn so beautiful ....

So beautiful ... beautiful ... "


Ok , none of the people who are gona comment here ask me why i am so depressed with love . Ask that B**ch ... Why cant she just tell me that she wana live with me ??

OK , relax Menon , after all , love is kinda beautiful thing , and you are not good when it comes to making a good lover .

I was screwing the bedsheet when i first did it !

I have no clue why i said that now . Its just a advice for people like my friend Jupiter who are gona get married ,and who have never done 'THAT' .

Sex apart , i am stopping this bullshitting now , i cannot be focused all this 'love thing now , got better things to do in life . Im going to Landmark to buy books ..

C ya

Btw , whats wrong in screwing the bedsheet ? It was so dark afterall !

The Blank moment

Have you guys ever experienced the blank moment ?

Blank moment : A terminology invented/discovered by PhenoMenon at about 7:34 IST , Oct 12 , 2009 . Its a time when the time vanishes .

Its 7:00 PM on a monday evening . You check google calendar , the to-do list . There are several things to be done , like buying books , studying the rapid spanning tree protocol , look for a job abroad , look for short film festivals , look for screenwriting courses ... ohh! there are many things to be done

My friend wants to use my PC - That makes 70% of the to-do activities in-valid.

I gotta get ready and leave to office at about 8:30

90 minutes . What shall i do in the next 90 minutes ?

It has to be productive . So ,take out the options of watching porn or TV

Read a book ? Ok , lets do that from 8-8.30

Now there is 60 minutes left . Now what ?

Look at me in the mirror . I am a good looking man , oh yeah . Who is that model in 'Indian Terrain' ? Diya told me that i look like him .

Whats that asoles name ? Its not Ranbir Kapoor . , something else

Rannbir Kapoor has got a beard these days , and he says he is not yet committed to Deepika and all that bullshit .

You know what , now that reminds me of doing something . I gotta shave

These days i always shave in the saloon . May be i should but a new trimmer .


There is about 50 minutes left .





"Sorry sir , romba busy a erukkaen , 30 mins appram vaanga sir " .



Go translate that , the only clue i can give is that it is tamil .


45 minutes ???


Let me stand on this corner of the road . There is a big cut-out of actor 'Jai' to the left of me .. and the 'cigerrate shop' to the right .

Cigarratte shop has a husband and wife . They have a son who is studying in 9th standard , but poor boy is bad in mathematics .

Why am i wasting my time thinking about them ?

Now what ? 35 minutes ?

There is nothing in my mind now . There is nothing i go to do now . My life is on a complete stand still .There are vehicles going on , there is a very bad looking woman walking past me , there is something and all . But i cannot think about anything ...

The Blank Moment .

Let me look up . Sky . Stars .

I dont believe this . There still exist Sky , and stars . Oh god .. I really did forget about them . I have never seen them for , what , lets say , 10 years ?

When was the last time you looked at a star?

There is not just one , there are plenty . Plenty of them . Man! This is amazing ., i feel so good . I mean , i just realised that i am a man , a human being , a animal , or some stupid biological creature .

I wanted to be an astonomer when i was a kid . I was in love with stars . I always wanted to discover a meteor .

How did i miss you all these years ??





People are staring at me . They saw a man staring at sky in the middle of the road.



I suddenly realised that its almost 7:55 now . Where did the time go? Oh god , where did it go ?





The Blank moment .


Trust me , its a amazing experience .

What should i do with my Life?

Tell me what should i do ?


1. Be a network engineer , go to UAE , earn well , marry a wealthy beautiful girl , have 2 good kids , bring them up well , go for old people associations , and die with your family and friends near you .

YUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK ............... I would rather die now than after wasting 50 years like that .... Oh god ,not this , not this one please.



2.Go to US/Europe/Australia , study Film making , work part time as network engineer .Come back to India , make beautiful movies , write beautiful stories

Wow .. sounds a lot better .But in reality , very very low chances of this happening. Why ? I am not rich like you :)



3.Stay in Chennai , i already have good contacts with film industry . But i dont know a damn thing about film making . So join as a assistant director , and study things , go on to make a movie at 30

Easy ? I have 2 Lakhs of debt to be paid off ! And how would my family react ? Throwing away a good career in engineering for nothing ? Also comes the very good chance of being nothing and lost in life !


4.Go to UAE , make some money come back and get in to film making

Well , at what age ? 67 ?


5.Stay normal , be network engineer , find another better job here in Chennai . Stay connected to films , hope that you will get a break some time in the future

My mom already asked me about marriage , and how long should i wait for this so called 'break in life' ?I thank God for giving me a healthy and good life . But the fact of the matter is that , i have never got that ' break in life ' which i believe is that factor which makes up a life for a person .



What should i do ? Does any one else have any other ideas ?

Letters , Words ,Aimlessness ,Confusions and Love

What happens when someone starts writing something with no aim , no plans , no ideas ?

I love a girl , but I cannot be with her . Why ? I don’t know .

I like network engineering , I like talking to Americans .

I am in love with cinemas ., nothing gives me more pleasure than making films .

I am the most confused soul in the world

I go for jogging everyday

I get stomach pains whenever I get tensed

Past one week was the most disturbing time in my life in recent times .

I was a happy man till I fell for her , I was even more happier when I was with her , now that I decided to break up with her , I am shattered .

Don’t worry Menon , you will get over this .

I know where it all started , that was when I told her that I want to break up this relation .

My tears stop at the edge of my eyes , I cant cry . Its been ages since I have cried .

I am thinking of all the dirtiest things possible about her with the misconception that I would hate her eventually

I feel there is nothing better than her in this world

I LLLLLLLLLLLLLLOVEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUU …. I feel like screaming …..

I am a fucked up Devdas

What is that I want in life ?

I don’t want to go to UAE . Please mom , pleaseee , don’t force me

I want to do Film making course in LFS. It costs around 32 L, INR . I realize that it is just a dream , it will never happen .

The most important thing in this world is money

I realize that she is going to get another man soon . With her charm , beauty and smartness , that will be very easy for her .

God , please let me cry … please

I cant blame her . She is not like me , she is a very practical person .Why should she stay committed to a assole like me ?

I need to understand something here . No One in this world can understand Menon . I don’t expect that to happen .

What does love mean ? Does it mean , understanding someone truly ? Why cant she understand me ?

"What you expect Menon ? How can I understand you ? How long I can wait for you ? You were never bothered about me . I didn’t want to screw my life being with you , so I decided to be with this person . He is nice , normal man , who loves me , unlike you ."

Do you guys think I am mad ?

What is that I want in life ?

I think i am mad.

I want to be a film maker , I want to make many beautiful films

I want to write beautiful stories

I want to be rich and powerful … Oooooh., nothing is better than that

If you have money 80% of your problems are solved

I miss you my dear , I will never forget you . I LOVE YOU , I really do , right from the bottom of my heart ..

I can live without you , I can live as long as I have my dreams

But still I love you

I want to go abroad and study the best in the film making industry

The song Bas Ek Pal , is repeating for atleast 12^th time now .I am not bored. I am not doped .

Menon , I told you many times not to fall in love . You cant handle it . All your manliness , all your strength all your everything , just fades away . Still you took that chance . Its your mistake . You should have never tried that .Never !!

Letters , words – They are magical . When your fingertips touch the keyboard , it’s a beautiful feeling . Can I just keep writing till the end of my life ? If some one asks me , what is that aspect that you are 100% sure in the world . My answer would be instantaneous . I love writing . No no , writing is in love with me .Unconditionally . I can feel it , everytime , in MSWord , in that A4 sheet or even the bedsheet or wall where I scribble random things .

I want to write , I want to write till the end of my life .

Thank you Sindhu Teacher . Thank you for calling up my mom , and telling her that her son in 7th standard is a wonderful writer . If you have never said that , i would have never wrote any more , i would have never felt this happiness .

I don’t want to stop here , I want to write more , please ., why is that there should be an ending to every writing ? Pleassee …. Let me write ….

Love - Pain in the a$$

Yet again , i am worried , confused and drunk .

Let me come straight in to the point , i kinda like a girl these days . When i say like , i am not sure if i am in love or anything ,may be because i dont really believe in it .

The thing is that , she is pretty awesome . Hot,intelligent and smart ! Whats more ,she is younger than me , of my same caste/creed and has similar attitude towards life . So we were going out pretty happily for past 5-6 months .

Now , there is a problem . She has left India , and probably we wont be seeing for next 1-2 years . Oops !

I am pretty happy that she is happy down there (well,i am bit jealous as well , as i have never been outside India) .I would want her to enjoy her life and have fun .

BUT . I feel bit uncomfortable these days . I feel that she would go on to find some one better , some one who would give her a lot of surprises and gifts (which i never did) , and ultimately , she would have physical relationship with him !!

I am acting like a Fucked up , old fashioned Indian lover boy ! Damn it !!!

I am heart broken . , and i am like "Why does the bitch have to doooo thhaat??? "

Ok , wait a minute . She is a good woman ., and she is not that bitchy kind .Why am i overdoing things here ?

I never proposed her , though i always knew she would accept it . I did not do that coz, i never believed in long distance relations . As my friend 'lineproducer' told me yesterday ,-"Out of sight is like Out of Mind" .

And there is another reason why i did not propose . I wanted to have sex with many women before i marry.

So look at me now . I really like this girl , but i am afraid of getting on to commitment . And more over , i would want to give her that time and space rather than taking a hasty decision . So i am not committed , and i dont worry about her .

But its not like that .Coz i am thinking about her a lot these days . Fuck it ! Moreover , i am not really feeling like going out with another girl !! In short , everything is screwed !

Sighhhh.....

Ok , my decision is correct . Let her live her life , and if she finds a better guy , let her be with him .It would have been worser if that happened after we got committed . Btw , lets pray she never finds anyone better .

I am not going to try some other girl(atleast for now) . I dont feel like doing it ., im fucking getting old , and i have a lot more important things to do in life .

The simplest way that a man can be happy , is by having a unconditional relationship with a woman .You dont lose anything by loving some one .., despite what she gives in return .Go watch Forrest Gump today .

There are lot more things happening in my life these days . Will let you know .

I feel so very better after writing this . Nothing gives me more pleasure than writing .

I am going to reduce my 'profanity' (interesting word eh? ) Let me change some alphabets to '$' symbol !