Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Accepting it!

Yes , i am not writing anything these days . Not even here . Its so sick .

But then , what is the point of writing for the heck of it !

I will be back when i feel like blabbering .. Bye for now !!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The 3 avatars !



I just happened to scroll down and see the nonsense i been writing for sometime !

I cant believe that i been bullshitting so much . Its full of sick love stories and some other sentimental crap !! Its quite visible that i have not been laid for a long time.

I thought about how to change this situation , and meditated for 75 hours straight . Lalit Modi , Sania Mirza and Rakhi Sawant appeared in my meditation,and i recieved 3 different suggestions to improve my blog.

Laliit M : Take a break for 6 months . You will be back with a bang.

Sania Mirza : Get married to a Pakistani/Afghani etc , your blog will get the maximum media coverage.

Rakhi Sawant : For every problem in the world , there is only one solution . Take it off !!



When it comes to advices , you can only trust the most intelligent ! This had been a close contest ,yet i made my decision ,



OFF goes my blog template ...




Moments when you feel great !

There are moments in each and every one of our lives , when certain small things happen , which just brightens up your life . No , it will not change your life for ever , but will make you feel alive.

A normal wednesday night , roaming around facebook and planning to go to sleep. Then this happens ,

XXXXX hi Aravind
11:31pmMe hi

11:31pmXXXXX how r u
11:31pmMe good , n u?


I check my huge friend list , and checks his pic .We have some common friends , but i am not able to recognise who he is . I am wondering why he is pinging me , but i always show some courtsey , and decided to ask him something,

11:32pmMe were are you?


11:33pmXXXXX in london

doing my masters
how is life ?

11:33pm Me
life is same
and ordinary
;);)

11:34pmXXXXX
want to tel u sumtng...... saw ur short film. good effort from ur side. can see how much u have worked for it
keep the good work gng!


This is the moment i am talking about ...


11:35pmXXXXX
yum man i was disccussing it wit my frnd

11:35pmXXXXX
huh u r gr8

11:35pmXXXXX
nice
r u working on any such films now?



NO , he is not gay . I am sure he dont even really remember me . I also know i am being overexcited for a small appreciation . I have recieved such appreciations in the past as well . But all i am saying is that , moments like this can make you feel something , something which tells you that there is some good reason why you are alive .


Me
bye
thanks for the suport
:):)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The biggest challenge in life !

You know what the biggest challenge in life is ?

It is to identify what you really want in life ., and have the courage to believe and pursue it.

Im 25 years old and i am so confused . The problem is that , i kinda know what i want in life , but i am lacking the courage to pursue it .Let me explain ,

Current situation :

I am a network engineer , i earn a decent salary , i do a nice job , and i live in Chennai. I have loads of friends and contacts in here , i love the place except for the weather.

What i want in life :

I want to be a successful engineer , earning a huge salary. I want to be a writer ,i want to make a movie , i want to run a business , i want to be involved with the film industry and i want to take care of my family . I want to be closer to my girl.

What the problem is :

" Hey , where is your son now ? My son is in US/UK ."

" Hey , where is your brother now ? "

" Hey , so where is your boyfriend ? "

" Why cant he go to US ? "

" Oh , he has never been there ? I been in 3 countries "

" You dont know man , the blondes! Oh , i love Europe "

Another reason , is .., any guesses ?

Ha ha , you got it .Its her !

She is in Europe and loves the place . I am not blaming her , its just the difference in perception . I want to be near to her , and is worried whether i would lose her if we continue this long distance thing for a long time . But if i force her to come back here , she wont be happy . So whats the option left ? She might end up getting a job there , and why would her parents have to think about me then ?

The 'US Mappilai' is available for plenty .


When i think about it , if i really try , i would get a PR . But then , what for ? Work experience ? When it comes to computer engineering , i dont think there is anything much for me to 'experience' in there . Everything there is outsourced here.

How about my movie dreams ? People say that i can still do a course or something there. But , i already have good connections in here , and when it comes to movie industry, contacts are the most important thing .

How about my family ? Do i really want to leave them and live there ?

And all this for what ?

Yes , i love Europe and America , i love football , the snowfall , the culture . But , i just want see all that , i dont want to live there .

If i am a little patient , i am sure i would get a chance to travel . But i am getting impatient .

Why is this happening to me ? Why cant i believe in what i want , and just be patient ?

Am i doing a wrong thing by staying back here ? I am not sure , but i feel this is the right thing . This girl i am speaking about is sensible , and would understand me . But still , certain things confuse me .

What you guys say ? Should i follow what the society is asking me to do or should i follow what my heart says ?

What is more important ? Your dreams or your love ?

Would i be doing a mistake by following what my heart says ? and more importantly , what is the meaning of ,

"Its your call buddy" ???




Friday, March 26, 2010

The extramarital affair !!!

Yeah , thats true ... I am involved in an extramarital affair ...


I am married to Network engineering , whom my parents chose . She is lovely , and sexy.I really like her , but , but then ... my love .. Cinema .. I am not able to forget her ...

You know , when i touch the cam , when i design those frames , when i write a dialogue...,you know.., there is no better way to make love in the whole world ...

Now , i am so confused , worried and pissed off . What am i supposed to do ? Yes , for sure i love technology , but do i get an immense feel of comfort when i stand right under the sun at 1 PM in chennai, when i am doing networking ?I doubt it ... Do i feel absolutely nothing for a hot gal ,and see nothing else other than the character , when i am at my desk in office ? I doubt it ...

I dont want to be those people who would turn 60 and tell that , oh god , i could have been a great film maker ... No , NOOOOOOOOOOOO....

But then , can i quit my well paid job , and get my family under debt and lose the girl i want to marry ? No , i cant...

I can tell only one thing my sweetheart cinema .. I will chase you , where ever i go , where ever i reach , i will never leave you,my love for you will never fade...

There will be one day in my life ...When i make you proud with my love ...

Monday, March 1, 2010

The girl is here , again !

Actually , i want to hug her tight and kiss her and tell her that I LOVE YOU .

But , i am not doing so. That is because , i am not sure whether she feels the same way i do .And moreover , she needs time . So do i . May be this is still infactuation between us , may be there is a better man for her and better girl for me . We are no one to predict future , are we ?

One thing i am sure about though , is that i want her to be happy . I dont know how much she cares about me , and i dont want to know . All i know is that ,

I care for her ,a lot !

May be we may not get together , but still i want her to be next to me , i want to take care of her , and make her happy .

I thought of telling all this to her , but then , whats the point ? This is something that someone should feel , not force . We have some time to pass between before we may meet again , and at that point , if i feel that she does care for me , i may propose her . Else , i am happy to pass it as a beautiful dream ,something which was never mine .


I know people have started hating this blog , because of this love-bullshitting , but i dont care . This place is only for me , just to write whatever i feel .

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Love - Pheno Vs Menon

Yea , i know it sounds stupid , silly and seriously bullshit .

But , i cant help it ,at 25 years and 5 months , i realise that love exists . Its not the mother's love that i mean ,the love of a partner .

No , i dont have a partner as of today , i am not in love as of today . All i am saying is that i believe that it exists . I understands that true love happens to only 1 in a 100 , but i will live with a hope that i am that one . I have never felt like this before , and i have always tried to ditch love for sex and fun .I have made mistakes in life , but i want to correct myself.

I am not saying that i have turned a saint , but i want to be in a realistic relation. I want to meet someone who loves me , the way i am , i want to love her (yea,im straight) , and i want to have kids like her .

Conversation between Pheno and Menon to continue .,

"Fuck Menon , you are drunk... "

"Its alright Pheno , you are just a disguise of what menon is "

"Do you think i am like you ? No way , i want to fuck many girls"

"Ofcourse , you may do that as well ,but you are not going to enjoy a bit of it.Believe in me , there is girl waiting for you"

"Dudeee , give me a break . You have no control of what to happen next "

"So what , hope makes life . I may not find her , but i will live with the dreams of finding her . I may get married to anyone my mom suggests ,but for sure , i will love her , will be faithful and good to her .. for a lifetime "

"Man, give me a break , lets talk when you are in your senses"

"Godnight Pheno , see you tomorrow"