Vaal (not wall)

Vaal (not wall) .

I am keeping up my promise of enlightening you guys with informative posts . This week its about a phenomenon called 'Vaal' and how pheno'menon' encountered its massive effect yesterday .

Vaal/definition/:
Vaal is the process of ejection(not ejaculation) of unnecessary alcohol in the body , mixed with snacks , water , pepsi and any other eatable substance taken before/after alcohol consumption .

Vaal is only found in malayalees , especially males . The same phenomenon is called as 'Vaandhi' in tamil nadu . When a person encounters vaal, that process is called as 'Vaalu vekkal'


I was getting a bit worried of not 'vaalu vekkal' for a long time.Actually i dont remember the last time i did it . But yesterday , it all came back , with all its fury , not just once , but thrice .

It was acmama's birthday yesterday .I came back after my night shift and went straight to TASMAC and bought 2250 ml of Oak Vat rum , 1950 ml of Vorion 6000 beer and 540 ml of Romanov vodka .I was the only person in charge to finish Romanov vodka .(I prefer Brandy + water ,but i just wanted to try something different)

Everyone arrived on time , and we started our pooja at about 11 AM .

It was about 6.00 PM , when i felt something rolling upwards from my abdomen . It was slow and steady , but it was definitely on its way out . I knew he was coming !

I am proud to say that with more than half litre of alcohol inside , i managed to move to the bathroom and position perfectly in front of the washbasin .Then , i told to myself .,"Yes , the long wait is over ,my kidneys are still in place , welcome back vaal"

Fucking - A City

I have been talking a lot of nonsense here for a long time that i decided to do publish something informative and serious . From now onwards i will be enlightening you every now and then , so that our citizens become more educated and thus prevent global economic recession .


Todays feature is about Fucking - A city .












'Fucking' is a City in Austria . The settlement Fucking has existed since at least 1070 and is named after a man from the 6th century called Focko. (What a man !)


Fucking's most famous feature is a traffic sign with its name on it, beside which tourists often stop to have their photograph taken. It is a commonly stolen street sign. public funds have been spent on replacing the stolen signs .(What the fuck , you may be fucking citizens , but atleast let us take photographs of fucking sign , we too love your fucking city , we are fucking brothers and sisters )

In August 2005, the road signs were replaced with theft-resistant signs welded to steel and secured in concrete to prevent further chances of the sign being stolen . (Now its concrete fucking there ,wow)

Credits (except for the italicized comments) : Wikipedia

20 Random thoughts

1#I feel that i am a good blogger , yet i dont get many visitors . WTF .

2#Every time i enter a train/Bus/waiting room etc , i hope that there will a hot girl sitting next to me , but it never

happens .

3#I am trying to quit smoking . Damn it is so difficult

4#What if some of my relatives come in and see this blog ? Il be screwed big time . I am a very good boy back home .

5#I am planning to write a blog on cockroaches . I have watched them so closely for over a decade .

6#Do not wear Underwear at home . It would restrict blood flow through vital areas .

7#I dont want to write blogs .

8#I love dogs and cats and tigers . I hate flowers and fishes and birds

9#Should i cut my hair or not ? I want to grow it long and be like John Abraham(old) , but i know i will end being like Sai Baba .

10#I am feeling horny.

11#I love cooking - Im gona write a few recipes as well .

12#My dear acmama , i know you'l be reading this . Thanks again , i dont have such good followers like you . Try to leave comments here rather than coming back home and telling me . Lets keep things official ! :P

13#I always confuse republic day and independence day .

14#I like being a network engineer .

15#Im hungry now , let me save this document and go eat something .

16#I tried a girl in orkut , now we are friends , but i like one of her friends now . Should i stick with the first or go for her friend ?

17#I am sad that McCain lost it , i wanted to see Sarah Palin every day on TV :(

18#Dravid will score a century in next innings ,Manchester United will rape Arsenal at emirates .

19#Shit , i forgot to wash socks .

20#Do girls get turned on by a 'Peter England' or 'Jockey' when guys bend down ?

The Smooch Story

Oops , i did it again !

Britney would not have said that more than what i would have .

Well ., as you all expected this is another post on my never ending search of a good bitchy girl .

So , getting straight into the point ,. i smooched a girl last week . It was not such smo00ch smooch but it was better than just a French kiss . I really loved it for several reasons ., if you guys have read the virginity issue you would know what kind of a girl that i had been looking over the years. And you know what ?This was such a perfect match ., now listen carefully ..,

8:00 PM :I meet her

8:10 PM :We shake hands . I realise that she is not so cute but so hot .

8:30 PM :We go out in my bike to buy some stuff .

8:33 PM :I realise that she is bit too close than what usually a girl would be .

8:40 PM:I stop to buy some stuff . I notice that almost everyone out there is noticing HER (now that did hurt my ego ., look at me bastards )

8:45 PM:I decide to give it a try . I tell her that she is so cute (Trust me guys ., there is nothing better to make a girl happy than to tell her that she is beautiful)

8:45:30 :She tells me that i too look so cute and fresh (Fresh ? Thats odd, did she mean hot ?)

8:50 PM:I ask her to kiss me . (We are in the bike still,but its fun to kiss while driving)

8:50-9:10 : As all other girls would do , she teases me saying no , though i knew that she would definitely kiss me (I should actually write a book on Girls psychology )

9:15 PM: Finally she kisses me . I realise that it had been more than an year since i have kissed any girl . What a loser i am !

9:20 PM:We go back home

9:20 - 10:20 : Nothing much happens as my friends were there , except a few touchings and fondlings whenever we got a chance .

10:30 PM: She asked me whether we can dance (Oh hell yea , though i know only street dancing)

10:35 PM: Smchs after smchs (thats the short form that im gona use , im tired of typing that word) as All our friends were some where outside the room .

10:50 PM: I realise that she is too drunk , and i asked her whether she can come with me .

10:51 PM: She made me realise that she is a good drunkard , as she told me that she wont come with me tonight .

11:00 PM: Having realised that nothing's gona happen , i finish the remaining beers and call up my friends to leave .

11:10 PM:We are about to leave , she calls me up , and gives me her phone number and tells me "You call me next sunday and you can take me where ever you want "


End of description .


Now you see , thats the best thing that can happen to any man . Some hot girl , Not in love with me , do not want to marry me , thinks that i am hot , and she do not have the sick old traditional values .

Any man would have had a great time the next sunday .





But you see , this is phenomenon . And people who have read my blog would know that as usual , i would screw this thing up .And i did .........., Oops i did it again !

There is something strange with me ., because though i tried to call her (and her mobile was switched off) , i did not try hard to get in touch with her again after that night . When the next friday came , i thought about it , and decided to do it this time atleast .

But i dont know why guys ., i did not feel like going for it . I pity myself .,but again i cannot help it .Im like this , some one who would cry that i dont get any chances , but the fact is that even if i get it , il screw it up like this .

Sunday came ,I met one of my old friends who was taking a short film , and spend the whole day discussing about the script and other stuff . Finally when i came back in the evening ., i tried to figure out whats wrong in me .

I cant find an answer , but the point is that , though i crib over it again and again ,somewhere i get a feeling that i dont want to do it for the heck of doing it ..I dont know ., but there is something else that is necessary to be with some one ..more than just alcohol and hormones .

Hmm.. So another chapter gets closed . And i am back to level 0 . As always , lets hope i would cross levels atleast next time ...

Deserted .

Times are changing , things are getting different in my life .

Somewhere from my early teens ., i always have had one or the other girl to hang around , dream , touch-feel , and make romantic conversations over phone .

Past 2-3 months , i am experiencing a relay withdrawal of girls from my life . One after the other , they all do not want to be with me any more . One or two i was really pissed off , as i never thought that they would do it ., or else i was a bit too confident of myself that i expected them always to hang around me . But i was wrong (i should be ) .

I got upset and tried to make new relation(s) . I always used to be pretty good (thank god) in making a new connection whenever i want . But i dont know why , this time , among 4-5 i tried , i must admit that i succeeded in hardly one .

Now thats strange . I used to succeed in these kinda things in the past . Or else it was my hobby .And its hard to digest this now . I was trying to find what was wrong with me , did i become too bad looking , or too boring or too poor ?

I called up thulu one day , and we had a very strange talk (details of which i cannot say in here) . ,and then Pratz ., i know they are both my good friends ., and it was them who made me think again .

The problem is not my looks or my smartness ., the problem is my Ego . Yea , it is . I have no reason why i need a relationship or a girlfriend (probably except the physical factor) ., and it is just for the sake of telling myself , 'hey dude , you have lot of girlfriends , you are cool ' that i am looking for a girl . That is so pathetic .

When i look at those who left in recent past ., atleast 3 or 4 of them wanted to marry me , and it is once they realised that it is never gona work out , that they left me . I expected them never to leave me and stick behind me even if they find a better guy . Oh cmon pheno , you are no hrithik roshan ! :P

Beyond all this there are a couple of reasons more that i see .

I am not very interested in flirting around and wasting time going behind girls . If they come for me , thats fine (Ha Ha , now stop laughing ) . I think its a matter of growing up . Am i getting a small realisation that i am not any more a silly college guy ?

The other reason is what is scaring me . I post all these things in here ., and then i have a link running from my orkut profile . I can see more and more hits on my blog ., and i am pretty very sure that a lot of people are looking in to all his crap . Are these girls staying away , because they have realised how bad a guy i am ! ?

If thats the case , i have two words for ya ! F off !! This is what PhenoMenon is , and this is what i will be ., if you cant take me like this , then you cant take me any time .

But still i get a feeling that i should take that link off my profile . I am not blogging to have a lot of readers enlightened ., or expecting that a publisher would come in and ask me to write a book ., but i do this because i love writing . And as i have said in my first post ., i need to express myself somewhere .

I know this is another boring post . I do not have many interesting things happening around me these days . WTF

Btw , even though i have poured out all this sentiments , i will tell you something ., i will still carry on hunting for girls ., hot girls ., and lets hope i would hook up with one soon . Pray for me guys !! :P :D

Birthday Bumps and a realisation .

September 16 .

Hah! Its my birthday guys . Fuck . 24 years old ., i am almost an uncle , am i not ?

So what happened last year . Hmm ...,what ? Well, nothing much happened . And we should speak about last years on the new year day , and not on a bday , right ?

Oggay , so what else , what happened in past 24 years ? Psss .. thats even more boring .

Well what happened today could be a bit more interesting . My Bday started being heavily drunk, and the usual bumps (don't understand which bastard discovered that fuck all practice) and like every other bday boy , i cant walk properly now .

Well , i did cut a cake , though it was not a typical bday cake , i did cut one which my friend bought from home when he came back after Onam. Now , why that was special for me is because i don't remember cutting cakes for my bday in recent times . Such stuff are for gals and kids ,we would rather save that money and get one more bottle of alcohol . right guys ?

So , i started expecting calls and messages . That was when this bday was a bit different . I give a fuck about people calling me and wishing , and i seriously do not believe in such formalities , but its just that i have got used to it over the years .So this time too i expected a few calls .

But i didnt get many ! actually i got only 2-3 at around 12 midnight , and all 3 of them were not from people who usually calls me . I was really happy for that i have people other than the usual ones remembering my bday ., but i was kinda pissed off why the usual guys didnt call .

I tried to forget it and get on with my alcohol ,but i couldnt . Damn ., how could they forget my bday .

That is when i realised how bad i had been over the years . I dont remember any of my friends birthday . Why friends , i seriously is not sure of my mother/sister/father's bithdays . What a bloody asshole i am !

Now., was i getting it all back? I know its not because of it that my friends didnt call me , and they do not expect it from me . May be the bday calendar didnt ring for them or their mobile got switched off or something , but unfortunately , None called ! NO ONE called me damn it !

"Oh , cmon man , you are not gona cry over this , grow up " , You guys dont have to tell this to me , because i have never been such a sentimental ass . But i have just realised that , probably there is some necessity to give importance to lesser things in life .Though i am still too lazy to create a birtday calendar .

I finally called up thulu and blasted her for not calling me . Poor girl , she felt bad . Thats ok , she deserves to feel bad . LOL .

And ashez and few others called up today morning , but still there are loads missing . There still is some time left in the day , lets hope they all will make it before i am over 24 .

Note(s) Added :
1#This post was supposed to be done yesterday , but i was too lazy to do that .So just take this as if i have posted it on September 16 , 8 pm . (And nothing much happened after that , i went home , smoked and slept )

2#Those who called me an uncle ,because i have turned one more year older , and more because i have a mustache now , need to understand something . I am trying whether i can really have a mustache like south Indian superstars , which seems to be far off possibility after 3 weeks of mustache cultivation , and hence i may go shave soon .., And i cant do a fuck about growing older and older every year . Damn it .

A Loser Hero and couple of prostitutes !

Prostitutes .

Very interesting subject . No no , i dont write porn here , so those who opened this link for some steamy encounters can close it right away .

So , for the rest ,this is a story about a loser (only in this aspect) and his encounters with prostitutes .

Well ,you are desperately horny and being a normal unmarried south indian , you have two options .
1#Get a girlfriend , screw her .

2#Go for a prostitute .

So , which one is better option ? I know you picked 1# .

But there are problems with 1# , as it has two subdivisions as well
1#
a)Your girllfriend do not give a damn about relationships , and is only interested in sex .

b)Your girlfriend , believes you , trusts you , and hopes that you will marry her .


Well, there lies the problem . Our hero here ,fortunately gets many girlfriends , but unfortunately they all turn out to be belonging to 1 b) ,or our hero thinks so. And our loser hero is a bit too light hearted that he dont want to make anyone unhappy just for sex.

Loser hero , do not want to get married or committed , but want to screw someone somehow .

So , such a condition , tempted our hero to go for option 2# . See , you dont make any one unhappy ,and there is no commitments . And whats more ,you are probably helping some one to earn a few bucks ., and more than everything , you are a MAN , finally !

Thats how the two encounters happened , one 2-3 years back , when hero was on a tour .

Lets brief the events that day .

Hero tempted all his friends to go for a girl , hero guided them and took them , hero paid for 2 of them , and hero went first .

But before going in , hero got a promise from everyone . We are not going to Fuck(literally) , lets see how a girl body would look ,and go back .

Agreed .

Everyone except hero screwed her in and out , and before hero realised that its not very clever to make promises with drunk guys , hero was out of money and time , and hence ., nothing happend . Well , NOTHING happened .

But hero was in full of tensions as he regretted what he did , and wondered whether he would get some STD's . Hero even went on to meet a doctor , and was afraid of going for a blood test . Poor guy . He then decided , that he will never ever pay for sex again .

Now , today , hero had to partially break that promise .

Hero never again tried for a pro(not proffesional pro , its prostitute pro . Interesting similarity though) , but today , hero's roommate , wanted to screw some one very desperately . Now he being a master in this buisness ., just took him an hour before he got her home , and unfortunately hero was home too .

Hero thought about it for sometime , and though not really horny then,desperation of a virgin, forced him to give a try .

Event inside the room detailed .

Hero goes in - locks the door -takes a look -pathetic lady- sits next to her - holds her - she kisses hero - hero moves away - hero asks her to undress - hero's tom dick and harry still not showing any interest - she tries to catch something and make hero interested - hero says thats enough - unlocks the door - hero goes out .


I dont have to add the fact that , room mate went in and had a great time . But now lets come back to hero .

Hero is sad as well as happy . Happy for the reason that he did not do anything , just saw her nude , and probably touched each other . Hero did not pay for sex this time , just had a little bit of fun , thats all .

Sad because , even if partially , he had to break his promise . And he is still afraid of STD's . Will they transmit if you touch the person ? I mean , just touch !? Oh cmon , we are all educated and we know there's no harm , but then its not that fear that is hurting him , its the regret . Its so unfortunate that hero is a hero and hence a good man .

Loser hero has promised himself that he will not even go near any pro's ever in life time . But will he keep his promise ? I think so , because this time he is not just afraid , he is very confident , and this decision is taken , not for making him happy for the time being , but because , hero knows that he do not want to do this .

Our Hero is a Loser , but he is still our hero isnt it ?

And do you guys know what ? Its good to call yourself a hero at times , but its not that cool when you call urself a loser every now n then !!

Confessions of a Pissed Off mind!

I am sitting in my office , pretty late night , and i am feeling a lot pissed off .



I know i should'nt be complaining when there are people worser than me ., but this no complaint , no cursing god or anything , the following is a crap note from a pissed off mind.


I know many of you have gone through this , and i believe we can feel better when we speak it out like this .




I am an underachiever ., wrt money i earn.

I perfectly understand that i have made mistakes in the past , like not bothering about a campus interview , or not studying too well in college ,or leaving a metropolitian city at the start of my career(that had some positives as well) .

But you see, i have been a good student(good - not outstanding)., I used to enjoy a lot , drinking smoking flirting partying , you say it , i have done it in my college days . Despite all that , i passed out with first class and a good score .Only mistake i made there was that i never passed a campus interview .

I did not really wanted to be a software engineer . Even now , i dont want to be ., so i do have an excuse for not clearing any campus interviews . Valid excuse ., and other than the money factor , i have no regrets of not being a software engineer .



Now , there were a lot like me , average/shit students and i can categorise them into 4 groups .


1# Over achievers

People who were/are real shit becoming big shots over night , some had a lot of luck , others had a lot of money to go abroad or start a buisness .


2#Achievers

People who were like me , but they either cleared a campus interview or some how became s/w engineers ., and even though many of them used to copy my programs in college , they all flew to US and UK and are all fucking rich now .


3#Under achievers (I fall here)

People who didnt study too well , or were unlucky not to get through campus interviews . People with abilities and desire , but for some reason , things do not happen that well for them . These people all have a job , are OK with life , and will never be called as losers , but still you know , these people should have been a lot better off by now .


4#Losers

This group is the worst of them all .People who were real shit , people who were average , people who were excellent are all here . I dont know what happpened to them , but they have achieved nothing till now . Some deserve it , many other dont . Thank god i am not here .

Dont ask me to compare myself with group#4 and be happy ., that is really a negative statement

We (group #3 ) dont know what actually went wrong . As i said earlier , we were not really good at studies , but we were/are really capable guys . As far as i am concerned , i finally got a good job , a job that i am really interested in ., a job where i am confident of being successful - Thank god again .

But its been 2 years since i have passed out from college , and it is only now, i am getting an average salary . All others in group#1 and group#2 are far ahead of me ., atleast say 10- 15 k per month .

And i see , freshers , people who used to consider me as senior , coming in and getting salaries which is more than i have after these 2 years ! Now i am ashamed about this , i really is .



Now dont come down and tell me that its not all about money . It is ! isnt it ? For those bastards sitting in group#1 and group#2 acting as if life is about love and not money , come down to #3 and #4 , and you will then know that it is the other way . Love and romance is all for you , not for us .

That again is another very important fact . Look at me . I look good , and i am a good man ., even a virgin . Now with all that , do you think that any hot girl will fall for me ? No , absolutely not . Now before thinking this is a stupid point , think yourself being in the shoes of that hot girl . Will you pick me or that asshole standing next to me , in nike t shirts and police sunglasses ? Yea , thats it , you will surely go for him - because you know he can afford to buy you a diamond pendant ,and take you to rich romantic restaurants(no cheap restaurants are romantic) .


People from group#3 may finally go on to earn good money after 3-4 years , and you start to think about discs and rich bitches or a car,. oh wait a minute , there comes your moms call , "dear son , you are too old , now go get married"

.

WOW ! MARRIAGE !




Now there ends all your dreams , and there starts your responsibilities and loans and kids and all the fuckign things in the world . If you dont earn big money before marriage , then what is the use of earning it ? Before dumping this statement , think again about it !It is a very true fact , especially with guys .

Coming back to our topic , i must make one thing very clear here . I have no problems with gods . Not at all ! They have been very kindful to me , and even if i become a begger tomorrow , i will not blame them , because i know they have given me a everything that i wanted . Most recently this job . I will be always thankful to them all this life .


I may be contradicting myself, but lets not bring in gods here . What i am trying to find out is what the fuck is wrong with me . Dont doubt it , i am some one who dreams big ., and want to be big ., i cannot be ordinary . Now you may tell me that thats what is wrong with me , but think again , is it ? What is wrong in dreaming to be big ? I have absolutely no problems with others becoming big , and i will not do anything to prevent others from becoming big ., and i never want to do bad things to be big . My line is very clear , and it is pure .

See , here is where i am ., i am happy for all those who achieved things , and i say this not because i am pissed off with their achievements , but just that , i am pissed off with myself ., MY FUCKING SELF !!!

But then again , you know what ? I will not give up ., i cannot give up .I will fight till end to get in to that day , when i can prove this world what i am capable of . Even if it never come , i will die with the happiness that i have atleast tried for it .

See , i am a positive man , but still, at times , even the most optimistic people will feel pissed off , wont they ? And i am in such a mood right now . Lets hope i will be a rich man one day , and that i will buy a football club , will fly to barbados to play golf and will marry a 18 year girl when i am 90 .

Oh , i feel a lot better now .., thanks guys .

Im in Chennai !

Yea , thats correct . I moved to chennai last week .

Why ? How ? When ? What ? Damn ! WTF ! IGAF (i give a fuck) .. , Now , what ever your feelings may be , the fact of the matter is that i got a better job here and hence i moved . Certain other factors like , having a lot of friends and script writing aspirations etc , helped me to make my decision easy .

I seriously miss my friends there in cochin . My roommate musicdirector , thulu, the romatic couple , the funny couple , my colleagues , my fuck all owner , the alcohol (it sucks here) , the chiks (mallus are the hottest , you know that!) ,girlfriends (OK , thats a lie , i am happy that i lost contact ) ., the rains (some kids i met here do not understand what that is ) ., the beef and porotta , the kallu shop and everything . But , then , i know that things need to change in life some day or the other .

And now , speaking about chennai , i arrived here on wednesday (hey , my company paid for my air ticket ! , isnt that cool ? ! ) and almost immediately started sweating ,. and till this moment, sitting in an airconditioned cyber cafe , it has not stopped . Now thats chennai for you !

I am happy about my stay here ., good independent big house , where me , cuckoo , panchvipaas and D lives . Though these are the regular members , we have more people in our place almost everyday . Our home is a true 24 X 7 station , as there are people awake all the time .

There are loads of things that i want to write about , but i cant find much time these days . I hope to get the internet connection and stuff ready by next month . , So till then ., regular updations will be difficult . (But hey , i cant stop writing , and this is the only place i write these days , so i will be here sooner or later ) ..

And to all those who were awaiting honey moon trip part two , sorry for the delay , i was busy with the shifting and stuff , will get it done soon !

And to all chennai'tes ,
I agree that i cant pronounce O properly , but remember that its ZERO and not GERO !

The Honeymoon trip and a bottle of Vodka (Part 1)

Last weekend will be unforgettable for me , something strange yet so fantastic happened .

I went down for a trip with 2 honeymoon(not exactly) couples .

Ha Ha , Look at me , laugh at me and ask me , What the Fuck are you doing in there !

But trust me guys , it was so so good , and i am sure that they enjoyed my company as well .

So one fine evening , few of my very good friends , call me up and tell me that we are going for a trip . But the 'we' included 3 guys and 3 gals , where there are 2 couples which leaves me and thulu.

Thulu didn't want to come ,personal reasons .

So i tried my best to slip away ., but couldn't ., and hence here we are ., one SUV , one very romantic couple at the back seat , one really funny couple in the centre , and me and driver bj upfront . Wow !

Wheels roll , bj the driver is so focussed that he hardly speaks anything , though i tried to talk to him about crappy vehicle related stuff like how much does a scorpio cost and what is the maximum distance he has driven . , until finally he gave me a face which suggested 'oh, cmon , shut the fuck mate , let me drive and you mind your buisness '

So i thought of looking back and probably tease the couples , or atleast have some common discussions ., but i soon realised they were not really bothered

Mr and Mrs romance were busy redefining romance , and i was like , "alright , you are meeting after a long interval , and this is probably the only chance to , errr , you know ... have fun :-P "

And Mr and Mrs A , were in some other world that they have invented for all the couples in the world of love , where they break up every 180 seconds and then hook up in another 120 seconds . So if you happen to be his good friend , and if you are with them in between these 120 seconds , you are really pissed !! Big time , coz before you think about the reason for the break up and the chances of getting it right , there they are , standing right in front of you , " Ohhh chweety , i love you ... "

And you look at yourself and asks , " Is the earth revolving around you or that you are revolving around the earth "

So here i am , reading a milestone which says 130 kms to destination , and wondering what to do !

And that is when i found her , so beautiful , so hot , so pure and so lovable , right in front of me .So gentle , so innocent , her curves making any artist jealous .

And her silky white top told me her name





White Mischeif Vodka




"Jab se tere nainaaaa .. meri naino se , bhaage reeee ...

Tab se diwaana hua , sabse pe gaana hua , rab bhi diwaana lagi reee ... Ho oooh oooo ... "




(to be continued)

The Magic of a Bar !

The Magic of a Bar .


Things which we cannot find explanation to , scientifically or technically or whatever .., are called as magic . Isn't it ?


And hence we really do have a magic in bars .

(Bars : Place where liquor/alcohol is served . ) *

This has amused me all the time since i have started drinking ., and after lot of research and inquiry i have come to one conclusion

This is magic !


Why is it a magic ?

1#You and your friend buy 360 ml of any brand/type alcohol , go home , share it and complete it by an hour .

You are not really DRUNK , or is out of control

You have your food , you reply properly to your bugging house owner and you watch porn and sleep .

2#You have 90 ml of alcohol from any given bar , have enough food and get back home

You are fucking DRUNK , and you tell your owner to fuck off , and you fucking forget to take off your shoes and you retype the whole fucking sentence on your blog and you fucking dont know why you are using so many 'fucks' in one go . Fuck!


See , im confused , can any one help ?

Is it my problem or is it a common problem ?

Oh , by the way

*Definition for those fuckers who think that they are chubby chweety kids .



Fuck , i hate my blog , im drunk !

Missed you all

Its been a long time .

2 months to be exact , and i missed you all .

Lot of things happened around me , and i was so involved in many things for such a long period that i could just not get enough time to sit back and write something . Thanks to tata indicom as well , it took almost a month to get my internet transferred to my new place .

So to start with .,

I moved . I am living with themusicdirector(tmd) now . I am starting to like the new place , except for the fucked up house owner (again) and the sick switches .

I visited and stayed at my ancestral place for some time , it was great .

My sis and family were here for the vacation . My nephew Achu simply rocks !!

I am almost a drunkard now .

3 of my ex girlfriends came back to me ., and i am confused again .

I want to leave cochin desperately . I just cannot stay in once place or be with one girl for a long time .

One gorgeous girl whom i had a crush on is not speaking to me coz she read my blog , and thinks that i am the dirtiest guy she had ever seen .

I realised again that i am in deep love with computers and my bike . Its almost impossible for me to live a life without them . Its true love what i have with them , no sex involved .

I got salary appraisal .

I have put down a lot of weight ., some 2-3 kilos . I have treasured each and every milligram that i have put till i became 70 kg last month , and now , its all gone in a week , and i am back to 65 .

I was hit by a very very bad fever . And those 3 days were the worst days of my life in the recent past .

I am getting really frustrated coz i am not going to gym or doing anything physical , but drinking and smoking a lot .

And I passed CCNP with 98 % . Oh God , thank you so much . I am so happy that my efforts were paid off .

Manchester United are the Champions of Europe !!!! Glory Glory Manchester united !!! Cut me through i will bleed red , Man United till death !!!

I found and spoke to some one , who had made a lot of difference in my life . Quite unexpected . And we spoke as if , nothing has happened in the past 3-4 years . That was very strange ., but i loved it .

I am working with my friend to make a short film , lets pray that it works out well .





So may things , this life is interesting, isnt it ?

The Gay Encoutners

Im Pretty Handsome .



I mean i am pretty and Handsome .



And sometimes , i wish i was not !



And i fucking mean it !



Yaaradee nee Mohini (Tamil) is the movie , and i am happy that its interval . I rush to the toilet and i am waiting with my hands on the zip .

There it is , some old ass is moving out , let me get in ...


"God !! Isnt this the greatest pleasure ... pissing and shitting ??" I ask to myself .


"Hey , dude , Phenomenon , im feeling shy ! " Dick says

"Why the hell, you are all mine " I try to console him

"Look right you idiot " Dick

And i see him , trying his very best to get a glimpse of my dear dk , over the marble piece that seperates us , in between my hands and my trouser ... shite ... i am feeling shy to explain this ! :-(

What has just been a honeymoon trip becomes a nightmare for my dk , i somehow get things in and leave .

I knew he would follow me , and he did .

Red Bright shirt , well shoven , well dyed hair , and loads of cheap perfume all over .. I still remember him well .

Puthiyathalapathy , who accompanied me for the movie, drunk to the core , was blabbering something in the walkway . I tried to take him and get back to the cinema hall , but he was persistent on having a smoke

And there i stood in one corner , trying not to bother the red shirt bastard gay , smoking restlessly .

And there he was , smiling at me , and adjusting his shirt , as if telling me , "ohhhh .. hotttieee ..rip off my clothes and take me down " ......


YUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ...


Fucking hell , i hate Gays ... i really do .... Oh God .....

I have always wondered how girls would feel , whenever someone touched them here and there ,, in the buses and crowded areas n all ..Will they get erect just like that ? are they enjoying it ? My seniors in school have told me that they would ..

And to confess , i have tried to touch a hottie of my class twice or thrice in the bus , when i was in my 9th grade .

But little did i know that i would get it all back , very badly

I remember my first gay encounter being in a bus , when i was a kid , some one tried to , get a grip on it , i was stunned , and did not know what was happening , and ran towards my brother .

Then years later , when i was like , hoo hoo ., the college dude ... One day on my way to my college , there was this tamil guy sitting next to me , who always misplaced his hands on MY thighs rather than his .

Then , again in my early college days , there was this guy who followed me to every seat i shifted , and finally i had to jump off the bus to escape

I remember , once we were all standing in a bus stand , late night , a gentleman came in , offered us a drink , a full bottle , if ,,, IF , we could go with him and stay with him in his room ...

And then , recently , an old asshole , who kept looking at me while i was enjoying my evening smoke in a a shop near my house ..

And by this time , i have had enough encounters , that i actually knew how to deal with them ...

"Can you give me a lift pls " He looked at me pathetically

"Which way you want to go " I asked him as i turned my bike to left

"This way ofcourse " He showed me the direction where i took my bike

I tried a Zeroing(though it did not work the way i wanted to ) and got my vehicle turned 180deg , and told him

"sorry sir , i am going this way "

"Its Ok , i dont mind going that way " He smiled at me

I lost it there , son of a bitch . Just because he was atleast my grandpa's age i didnt punch him ., but did give him a good essay of abuses .


Ohhhh...


And then there was this guy , my friend ., who was bisexual .

Damn , and you know what , none of us dared to sleep next to him . Especially if you are fair and drunk . You never know when his hands get out of control





Seriously guys , its difficult .


I hate these bastards , though i am ready to accept them . I mean , its ok if you are gay , nothing wrong , i mean what can you do about a disorder , well , its not even a disorder . Its just that you are a bit different .

Its fine with me , i have even written a story "Being straight" about the sufferings of a gay , and how the society ignores them .

Well ., all very easily said , it is very difficult to deal with them .

I just have one sincere request to them , dont force any one , dont try to seduce us , its irritating , to the fucking core .



OMG



Just now i realise how sad it is for the girls , i mean , if there are 10 gays in 100 , then the rest 90 are straight , just think about the girl's condition then


Sorry , Hottie of 9th standard , i never meant to do that , and will never do that .


And its difficult guys ,


ITS DIFFICULT TO BE STRAIGHT IN THIS WORLD !!


:-( :-(

Bye Bye Angel

I have been listening to all these romantic songs for a few hours now , and hence i feel a bit romantic , or rather, sad .

Statuatory warning : I am going to be unlike phenomenon in this post , going to be a very boring old love story and related sentiments .

I wanted to say bye to angel .

I have had been with many girls , in love with many girls . Some have been special , that is , a very few have actually loved (kind of ) me too .

And Angel is one of them , special , she will always be

I met her in the last year of my college , and had been with me for a about one n half years , before , as usual , i forced a break up .

The way we got hooked up was amazing . It was actually so unrealistic , that even if i tell you , you wont believe it .

I mean , we met in a Mall in chennai , and we spoke for about 10 minutes , and that was it , we got hooked up .

And that was the greatest achievement till date in my flirt life . 10 minutes , and you have made a chick (she is/was hot ) fall heads over heals !! Wow !! fantastic Menon , fantastic !!

Ok , as usual , my intention was to , hmmm , do it ! :-P

Cmon guys , we all fall in love for that , i dont think there could be anything more than physical attraction in the first sight !

So there we were , in love !

I play smart with girls . I mean , i have this small egos , like i will not propose first , i will not kiss her first etc etc . So at the end of the day , i could say , "Hey ,.. you did it first , not me '

I know thats cheap , but what to do , i am like this guys !

You guys know what ? I am such an unlucky asshole . Because everytime i hook up with a girl ,i expect them to be bitches , but then , i get the best girls , i mean , the GOOD Girls !!

And being such a fucked up good guy , i will not feel like cheating them and hence , effing them !! :-(



So that happened with angel . I did not wanted to cheat her , or use her . She used to be so good to me , so supportive , so caring , so inspiring . And you know what , she is one of the girls that phenomenon repects in this world . Thats some achievement , not many girls have earned that .


I remember the evenings we used to spend in beaches/theatres/coffeeday , and everything.

One night when she dropped me back in my place , i kissed her right in the middle of the road , (empty road) . That was so romantic , and we both loved it !

The main reason why she earned my respect was not beacuse she loved me or cared me . But because she was not just another girl . She is someone who i always happy , so hardworking that i myself felt ashamed of being so lazy , earns her pocket money by tough part time jobs , studies well , take care of family , cooks , does household things and then , finds a lot of time for me .

Seriously , you are a wonderful person , someone whom i must look out and learn a lot .

Only thing that i did not actually like in her is that she was too lean and was a bit boringly romantic .

So the big question , why the fuck did you break up with her ?

And the answer is , hmmm ., i dont know

She was north Indian , and i felt her and family and mine will never go well together . And then , she had a great future in modelling . I was such a fucked up asshole , who would not want his girl to be model , or be exposing , and all other silly stupid thing'ies of a south indian man .

I hate my Indian insticts some times ., damn !

So hence , i had two choices , either take her , ask her to quit modelling and all , or else , leave her and let her prosper .

Ok , now when i say i opted for the second choice , dont think it was because i am such a good man or anything . It was because of several other crappy ideas of mine

But for sure , i did not wanted to interrupt he bright future , and wanted to see her growing up bigger and better in her career .Thats the love factor

And then , i do not like to get committed , even if she is the best girl , i feel tied up , i feel i am losing my freedom , and why the hell should i do it , when i have a option ? See , if you are married , you cant say , this , atleast let me do it now .

So my ego + stupidity + love ended up in me neglecting her for atleast one year , when she waited for me .



Now last month when i called her up, before the valentines day , she told me that there was this cute guy , who is from her own community , rich and handsome , who is proposing her for some time , and she asked me what to do .

I being such a great man , told her , to go ahead and not wait for me .

And then i did not get a call from her on v day , which i usually do get for past 3-4 years .

And last week when i called her up , she was not speaking properly to me , and she asked

"Can you please call me after sometime ? Hmm... i am with ... Mr..... "

When i hung up the phone , i felt bad , realy bad and sad .

She has never told me that before , and that was the moment that i realised that she was gone , gone forever .

She called me the next day , i did not pick , nor did i call back . It will be better if it ends here . ,and let me forget her .


I dont know why i am writing all this , but then , we all have such times in our lives , dont we ? And i am pretty sure she will not come across this blog , and hence its all safe .

I am not regretting my decision , i know i have made the right decision , but still , you know , it hurts .

And angel , i wish you all the best wishes , be happy !

And me ?Ha Ha , i love writing , and searching for new girls so that i can continue writing blogs like this............... LOLs.... Crazy me !

Caught by Kerala Police

"Pha Pelayadi mone , Kerada vandiyil "

(You son of a bitch , get in the vehicle )


No , this is not the intro scene of a South Indian police movie , but the intro scene of a very interesting night in my life

My friend Puthiyathalapathi gave me a treat last week , rather , i forced him to give me a treat ,. as i desperately wanted to get drunk and i had no money .

He wanted to go to a far off Bar , which is good , but then i say this to him .

" Dude , we are educated people , we should'nt be driving drunk , if we do this , our next generation would also do this "

He looked at me from tip to toe as if asking me who the fuck are you to advice me ,

"So we will walk to the nearest Bar " He says

I did not like that , i am too lazy/rich to walk to a bar , after all its not a crime driving a couple of kms drunk , as a matter of fact i drive better when i am drunk .

So we are here at the nearest Bar , and i had a peg or two extra as it has been a long time . We thought of getting food from some where else as it was too costly in there .

So there starts our journey , He behind me smoking , and i concetrating hard to keep left on road .We decided to stop at a nearest hotel , i park the vehicle properly , another vehicle parks behind me , and puthiyathalapathy murmurs

"Damn , Police"

The moment i heard that , a lightning went across my body , and being smart(or rather i thought so) i did not look around and walked straight in to the hotel .

"Give me the menu" ??

"Pha Pelayadi mone kerada vandiyil " ....

So thats the flash back , lets get to the main story .

Puthiyathalapathy was crying to let us go , so did i , but we stopped soon and started laughing at each other as soon as we were sitting in the Police jeep . Wow , its actually cool sitting in there , i felt excited !

So we reach the police station , and i was asked to sit with the 'culprits'

Hamsa the fisherman , Jojo the college student , A taxi driver , a gentleman . , and oh yeah , ME

I knew there was no point in arguing any more , so i started enjoying the whole thing .

The police station was a typical police station as we see in films , but , BUT , believe me guys , there was a neat TOILET , oh god , i was shocked to see that !! :-O I took a photo there in the toilet , i will attach it !

Now i met these policemen , who are really friendly , Mr. B who is a constable , Mr.V who is a ambulance driver , Mr.D who is a head constable and Mr.Varu who is a Principle SI

Hamsa(must be 50-55 , a poor fisherman who was caught while going back home) looked at me , and started yelling ,

"I dont give a fuck about police , i have already killed one , i will not hesitate to do it again"

I could not control my laughter , but again i felt bad for him , too old to behave well in this condition , so i put my hands over his shoulder and asked him to relax

Now the police man calls my name to write the crime file .,

"What you do Mr. " ? He looked up at me from the chair

"Hmm , Sir , we are both engineers "

"Ha Ha , so we have a engineer here today " ... He looked at every one else , expecting them also to enjoy the comedy

For some reason , they found it really funny of me being a engineer , what the fuck , cant engineers be caught drunk ?

Now i meet Mr.B , who was comparatively young , was very friendly with me , but he was angry at something

There was this gentleman who is working for a Big Buisnessman , and he was driving with that businessman , so in short , though the Big shot did not get caught , his employee did , and as a good employer he stayed there , playing the Big Daddy .

And the driver was asked to come in to take place of his employee , but unfortunately , Mr.B did not agree and filed a case in the name of this gentleman employee

Start music

The Big shot started threatening one police officer after the other , and i could see the pity condition of our police officers . Even i felt like saying something back , but they did not , they were in short afraid of the money power of the other man .

Poor guys , thats when i really started to like them

We were taken to the jeep to go for the medical test , now it seems the big shot did not get talk to the commissioner and hence his employee had to come with us

The trip to hospital was one of the best journeys i ever had

Hamsa was on a role , he just could not stop yelling !!

And we all laughed and laughed , and then suddenly i caught an idea

Video tape the whole thing , it wont happen always

So i took my mobile and started video taping ., I finished one , and went for a second one with close up shots of poilcemen , i wanted to get their facial expressions right

Now Mr.A saw me and caught my mobile , and started searching my videos

And then ..



And then , he was blushing , i had many 'hot clips' in my phone :-P He took his phone up , and i believe he would have transfered those clips .

We reached the hospital , and the doctor checked my blood pressure and let me go . There was no fucking alcohol test , how on earth would they know if i was drunk or not ?

I came back to our jeep , and saw Mr.B standing in one corner ,on phone , playing with the leaves of a tree close by , giggling and showing all other features of a flirt .

Poor guy , he is like me , just because he is police officer we cannot expect him to behave unnaturally .

I wanted to smoke , and i had none

I went near Mr.B and asked him for a smoke .

He looked back at me , laughed and said ,
"Damn , you are a culprit and i am a police officer , how dare you "

I started to walk back , but he called me and gave me the cigerrate , i was happy .

"Get in to the jeep and smoke , dont smoke outside , if some one finds you , i would be answerable "

Lovely , so lovely , i am asked to smoke inside a police jeep , only inside a police jeep .

Hussain in the mean time , asked the doctor to measure his blood pressure in his legs , and the police officers had enough , and that paved way to one of the greatest dialogues i have ever heard in real life

Mr. A and Mr.B was really angry and started shouting very badly at hussain , after all he asked for it .

Then Mr. B said this

"I have been in the service for 14 years and i have not hit a single person till date ,today it seems i will have to do it "










Dude , he said 14 years ., 14 fucking years as a policeman and he has not even touched a single man !!

Was he serious ? Must be , there is no reason why he should be lying , if at all he was lying it would have been the other way .

Gosh!!


It was almost 1.30am when we reached back the station

As we were almost about to get off the vehicle , Hamsa came in behind me , held my hands and told me

"you should not be drinking son , you are too young , dont do it "

I felt bad for the first time , poor guy , he means it when he says it , i am a bad boy after all !

Puthiyathalapathy came in asked me how it was , and told me that he has talked to the Big shot about producing his new film ,fucker , when i was being taken away by police , he was trying to find a producer for his film ?

Now that i have signed the papers and bid bye to Mr.B and others , Mr.Varu the principal SI calls me up

He looks like a policeman , the bad policeman , with that creaky sound and the fuck all looks etc .

It seems he liked me (was he gay ?) , and wanted to tell me something ,

"Dude , do you know who i am , the principal SI , the SI of SI's , and i have 5 SI's under me ... "

Fuck , i have not eaten anything the night and when i thought its all over , here is an asshole boasting about his achievements . Btw , it was this guy who called me a SOB in the begining .

Finally , someone came in from the station and told him that the nephew of CI is caught for drunken driving . Now Mr.Varu asks us to leave and come and meet him tomorrow if we need some help .



Puthiyathalapathy and me walked back home with some unforgettable memoes

Btw , i got back the mobile and he did not erase any videos . I would have proudly presented it to you , but you know what , i forgot to turn it to night mode , and i can see nothing , no fucking thing .



PS: It was a very forgettable night for me the next day , i was asked to pay a fine of about 2500 Rs , and now to save all that , i will have to quit drinking for atleast a month .Varu did help me , and let me go even though without proper documents , i had to bribe them with Rs.200 though .

Also i have decided not to drive drunk again , thanks to the fine ,Hussain and the list of accidents they showed me .

Kids - a weakness !

Again , yet another issue that worries me !





I love kids .





I find them so sweet , choooooo chweeeeeeeeet !! Especially baby girls .When i say kids , i mean those in between 1-5

I dont like those less than 1 , coz they are boring , and look so dumb , pisses/shits all over the place , and go to sleep too often .Whats more , they want to stay with their mothers always !

I dont like those older than 5 , coz they become intelligent , and start to show the attributes of being a proper human being . Stuff like speaking properly , acting smart/brave etc .

But in between 1 and 5 ! Ohhh god ! Its heaven on earth .

I usually dont like unclean people , but when it comes to kids (from now on when i say kids , its the 1-5 range) , i have no caste/creed/color/whatever ..., i just love them

You know whenever i see them looking at me so inncoent , with their eyebrows hardly grown , with eyelashes fluttering too often , ohhhh, you guys dont know how hard i try to control myself from taking them from their fucking mothers (ok ,i know that was rude , but i generally hate young mothers , i will come to it later ) , and play with them !

Sigh !

Whats wrong with me !The whole thing makes me uncomfortable .


I mean , i should not be like this , i am a cool new age guy , who cracks joke at every other thing and hardly have any feelings , you know , the good old rough and tuf guy!

Atleast , i am trying to be like that , else i will get no respect from my friends .

But every time i see a kid , the whole ruf and tuf melts away , damn ,i sometimes lose it completely and start to speak about kids , where my friends would be talking about banging the neighbor girl . How sick am I !

Another issue is that , i am not really that kind of a boy who likes the chweet things in the world , seriously , this is not something that i am making up .I donot like ice cream (Yea ICE CREAM , now close your mouth and continue reading) , sweets , chocolates , birds(YUCK) , flowers .

When i am a guy like that , how the hell this kid thingy came on to my mind ? I have no idea .

Ok , i like cats , dogs , tigers (not lions , i hate them) , and one of my greatest dreams is to adopt a tiger kid and grow it up for 3-4 years , all on my expense and care ! Wow ! I think the tiger development board (or whatever) allows that !

So coming back , what is wrong with me ?

And the worst thing about this is that , i like baby girls more !

And i hate adult girls , i really do !

Every time i see a baby girl , i could see her mother not really taking care of her ! damn bitches !!

I think the new age girls do not really love their kids as our mothers used to do !

I hate when girls (adult) try to show off , especially 'awwwh i am a cutie ' stuff ! Grrrrrrrrr!!!! I hate you !!!

So just imagine what i would feel when young mothers try to do that !! And not bother about their kid moving around ? What if she/he falls down ? What if some one accidently step over them ? What if they eat something big or dirty ? Damn , i cannot even think about all that !

Ok , i am stopping here , if i think about that , i will lose control .But in short , you bloody bitches , i want to kill you all !!


I have this friend named Ash , she is too crazy about kids . But may be in a different way ., she actually like the 0-1 babies , and hence not my kind .

Some one told me that i will have many kids when i get married .

I will be marrying late , its uncool to be a father at a young age ! And whats more , you will need to have a WIFE , a bloody effing Wife !!

I thought of this artificial insemination thingy the other day .

May be i would need it , i dont really want to get married and have a wife , but i want a kid .

So ., artificial insemination could be the only way .

But then there is another problem , i know that every kid needs a mother ! Not just a father .

And my kid should have everything , and hence surely a mother .



Damn , i will have to get married after all .



And even if i have a baby girl (i have decided upon her name ) , what will i do when she goes over 5 years ? Will she be yet another girl that i see everywhere ?


No , she is my kid after all .



Where am i going ?? Ha Ha , look at me , 23 years old , atleast 6 years away from a marriage/child. , and already i am worried about my kid . LOL


This is what pheno'menon' is all about , i am really funny ..,am i not ?

LOLs

The Virginity issue

Male, 23















I am a virgin









No , not a joke .













I am really getting worried about this .

I have had many girlfriends , but then , you know ..,you know , i just could not do it , i mean , IT !!

Now ,stop laughing and saying 'bugger is impotent' .... No , its not that . I am just very perfect with the perfect amount of chromosomes (ohh , wait a minute , i meant hormones ) , and other required ingredients .

So thats not the case ,. so what may it be ?

You know what , actually i had chances to make out with atleast 3 girls , and i wasted it all .And when i say wasted , this is the worst way any one can waste an oppurtunity .

I had this hot hot girl as my girlfriend , and she once called me to go out to some tourist spot and stay in there .

I was watching some bloody tamil film , where the hero actually sacrifices his life and dreams for the girl. And after long thoughts , i realised being a true lover , i should not be doing this before marriage . And it ended there .(the bad luck started )

BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!! You useless a****h*** , you said marriage ? when she would not even have thought about it ? Damn , you fool , now you know why she left you after couple of months ,you loser !!!




OK , thats an old story , may be i was a bit too childish then , but now what ?

I have actually asked this to many of my friends who are girls (not girlfriends) about this .



Prat thinks i am a gay .






I would have killed her if she was somewhere near me ..., that was too rude..






Hmm , am i gay , could i be ?






Damn man , i am not , i mean , yea , i once happened to see this gay porn with my friends , but i did not get any pleasure from that . And also , i was attacked (or rather approached) by gays 2-3 times , i did not give up !!

Now will liking hrithik roshan and john abraham be gayish?Is it ? Well it cannot be.




I am not a gay , get that? I AM NOT A GAY





But i am 23 , 23 effing years old .

Another one of my friend girl , thulu , once told me that it is actually nice to be a virgin . She says it is wonderful to be with one partner for an entire life time .



Now just imagine these conditions ,

1#I stay virgin , my parents find me a educated well behaved good looking girl , and on our honeymoon ,she tells me that "this is not the right way to do it dear husband , are you doing this for the first time ?"

2#I stay virgin , my wife too a virgin , and we live happily . When i finally die and go to heaven , god will ask me , "what on earth were you doing in there for all these years you fool , you just spoiled the only one chance you had to live !!! "

From 1# and 2# , what do you realise ?

That being a virgin is total shite and thulu , you are wrong , and you are making a mistake by being a virgin .

I have made this new year resolution , of not to be a virgin any more ! I am proud of that !

But i cannot actually do it with any girl you know , i mean certain conditions must be satisfied

1#She should not be a whore (literally ) , and i will not pay her for sex

2#She should like me , and really should enjoy being with me

3#point 2 vice versa

4#She should be hot , and should smell good

5#She should not have any plans to marry me

6#She should love me for the time being

7#She should not call me when i am not interested in speaking to her .

8#I will not stop smoking or drinking for her

9#I should not feel sad when she finally leaves me

10#She should not like Shah rukh khan , and should like cricket and football

11#I should not cheat her in any way


and most importantly

I should not fall in love with her .




Ok , those are the few simple conditions that i have , but then i cannot find a girl who matches the above criteria .


When there are idiots who make make out every weekend , i am sitting here staring at the stars and my neighbors bedroom window , you girls out there , you are missing out on something . I mean , i am hot and handsome , smart and funny , educated and employed .

I think she is going to sleep now *

I am a useless guy , really . With all the abilities and capabilities , i am just wasting my life . You know , just imagine being with one girl for a life time . YUCK, one girl ? Its like wearing the same underwear for a life time

Ok , now what if she is a virgin , it could be a bit better , something like wearing a clean Jockey underwear for a life time , but it still is so stinky!!

Yea , she is off to sleep , Damn *


Im so pissed off !!

May be it was better to be a gay or impotent !








*I was looking out to my neighbors window , where a hot girl lives . I am trying to grab her attention for past 4 weeks , but she just dont care . It had just been yet another bad night for me !!

Being Shite is Being Great

Hmm yea ,

You know what it feels like , being shite ?

Its tough guys , it really is .

I mean , there will be some point of time in your life , wait a minute , there will be many a time in your life when you feel that you are useless , you are no one , that you are HSTIE .

I think i am a writer ,
but then , its been ages since i have read a book . I tried to read a few , which i bought from a sale , very cheaply , but soon realised that they are totally boring and hence not worth reading . But then are there any writers in the world who do not read books , i mean, can i ever be a writer without being a reader ??????

Shite man !!!

Now ,

I think i am a movie buff , an expert , a good reviewer , blah blah

Now when ordinary people ask me , have you seen this classic , that one , the other one ?? NO , i havent ! Do i know much about Al pacino and co ? NO

Then how the hell can i be a movie expert ? How can people ever be a expert without knowing about the classics ?

Shite Maaaaaan!!!

Ahh , now the worst one

Engineer , Computer science !!

Software engineer , graduate , First class , good scores . Can you write a program for me ? Hmm ... errrr .... NO

See , i am not working as a software engineer , i have never been one ,but still i have the degree hanging around my neck that every second person that i meet , see it , and wants me to write a program for him , even if he is confused betweem a PROGRAM AND PROGRAMME !!

Shittttttttteeeee Mannnnn !!! !

Thats it , i am shite .

Now but then , you know what , every one is ! Really .., if you are reading this , you know that you are shite , dont you ? Ohh , now dont turn around and see if any one else is watching you , no, no one is , admit it mate , you are SHITE !!

And that makes is cool , doest it ? Yea , so here is that wonderful pheno-menon principle for you

Being Shite = Being Normal

Now there are normal and abnormal people in the world . I mean when i say abnormal ,those people who have become Gandhi's and Sachins and Davoods , those abnormal people . And normal are we , the normal ones

Think about those abnormal guys . They are rich and power ful and blah blah , but then its kinda boring is'nt it ? There are a very few people like them and that makes them stuck to the same crowd . They can't even go out and have a smoke in the evening .

So what does it mean ?

Being Normal = Being good

No No , not just good .

Being Normal = Being Great !!!!

So from a) and b)

Being Shite = Being Great

So chill guys ,. and party today , because you have just realised one great truth in the world :-P

The Begining

Hmm , So here we go

My second blog , i have decided to make the other one exclusive for film reviews .

I am here because i got inspired by eM the blogger .

She is hot and funny (i have not seen her till date though) and i 'Wannabe' like her , famous and rich. :-)

Do'nt think that i have started writing after i saw her , no , never . I have written this story named 'The red sun rising' when i was , 10 years old . I have never stopped writing since . I dont have a family full of writers or artists or people who belong to the 'artist' world . No , not even a trace of it . And i have never written anything for the heck of writing . Most of my stories have not been seen by any one , but still i think that they all rock . Cmon , seriously , they all ROCK !

Now i have this problem of too many thoughts , i mean i have this uncontrollable over flow of ideas and imagination , that i find it difficult to retrace them and present it to my people . And even if i remember , i may not have the right person to tell this to

Hence this blog , Where my thoughts and ideas and experiences , all will come in . Im afraid of idea thefts though , Ha Ha :-P

C ya then
With loads of puffs and pegs
Menon